October Halloween Horrorfest 2019
Cranking through 30 recent(all added, made or released in 2019) streaming horror movies in October and then Halloween on Halloween for 31. Amazon, Shudder and Netflix. Hopefully I'll find at least one movie to recommend for Halloween and they aren't all terrible. If I gave something a 5, it's pretty good just not for me.
UPDATE:
Well I did it. Now I can watch some good movies. This was a bad year for recent streaming horror. Amazon will literally put anything on its site. Every direct to video horror movie on Amazon is just amateur, barely filmmaking and an all around suck fest of a piss poor movie. Netflix hardly has any horror but at least it wasn't made in a backyard somewhere.
Shudder is great, but I only watched a few for this run because I've seen all the new stuff on Shudder already.
Best on the list : In the Tall Grass
Worst : Anything from Amazon
Most WTF trainwreck : Don't Look
If I gave a film a 5, I didn't like it but can see why others would
Anything over 5: good. Under 5: bad bad bad
Best of the 5's: The Furies and Derelict
Best of the garbage: Bad Dose (memorable just so low budget)
UPDATE:
Well I did it. Now I can watch some good movies. This was a bad year for recent streaming horror. Amazon will literally put anything on its site. Every direct to video horror movie on Amazon is just amateur, barely filmmaking and an all around suck fest of a piss poor movie. Netflix hardly has any horror but at least it wasn't made in a backyard somewhere.
Shudder is great, but I only watched a few for this run because I've seen all the new stuff on Shudder already.
Best on the list : In the Tall Grass
Worst : Anything from Amazon
Most WTF trainwreck : Don't Look
If I gave a film a 5, I didn't like it but can see why others would
Anything over 5: good. Under 5: bad bad bad
Best of the 5's: The Furies and Derelict
Best of the garbage: Bad Dose (memorable just so low budget)
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30 titles
- DirectorCaitlin KollerStarsCarrie PrestonRob BenedictRusty SchwimmerWhen five college pals return to rural Wisconsin for their estranged friend's funeral, what begins as an uneasy reunion becomes a terrifying fight for survival.5 annoying friends return for a funeral, acting hornier and more annoying than when they were in college. Scary things start happening and blah blah blah. No gore, no nothin. The trailer shows a woman getting pulled into the earth...in the movie she slips and that's her trying not to fall in the grave. Goddammitt
- DirectorTeo KonuralpStarsLaura FlanneryJames CavloHarry HainsSeveral years after a deadly struggle with her serial killer aunt, Jordan works to escape her troubled history. But when her aunt's revenge-seeking specter surfaces to join forces with a deranged convict, Jordan must return to the haunted town of Silver Falls for a final showdown with the ghosts of her past.When you make a movie about a serial killer ghost teaming up with a real serial killer, you might want to have some people get killed. Only 2 kills, no gore and not enough of the ghost. A big, confusing mess.
- DirectorEmilio PortesStarsTobin BellTate EllingtonJoaquín CosioAfter a personal tragedy, a police detective investigates a school massacre committed by a student - and another massacre. Are the 3 tragedies linked to demon possession?Satan possesses people to mass murder children to kill Christ resurrected. A cop, whose kid was murdered, teams up with a gringo Priest Investigator to stop the killings. Pretty satanic movie with mass murders, crucifixions, exorcisms and a big budget. Tobin Bell plays a tatted up priest with the answers.
- DirectorLouisa WarrenStarsClaire-Maria FoxClaudine-Helene AumordManny Jai MontanaNana starts to tell the legend of the evil tooth fairy who rips out teeth. Carla is sick of her crazy alcoholic stories and tries to leave, however a power outage suggests something is amiss, something much more sinister than Carla could imagine.This movie is endless yapping yap yap yap. Very little Tooth Fairy killing people. Barely any deaths, some gore, lots of words. Then it tries to be like Saw and shoots for some lame comedy for some reason. The black guy says "Aw HELL no!" Goddammitt!
- DirectorElle CallahanStarsIsaac JayJay LeeAshleigh MorghanA group of college students on a weekend getaway accidentally summon a supernatural entity intent on using them for its deadly ritual.Kids partying in the desert say "Beetlejuice" 5 times and summon a shapeshifting demon. NOTHING happens for 1hr20m and then everybody kills themselves. The shapeshifter leaves to party with a new victim who apparently doesn't need to say "Beetlejuice" anymore to summon it. This movie no es bueno.
- DirectorMike CuffScott WindhauserStarsDolph LundgrenAutumn ReeserBrooke JohnstonA mysterious virus has killed billions and turned many others into bloodthirsty zombies. Unable to stop the virus, the government develops a video game, "Dead Trigger," that mirrors the terrifying events that curse the world.After about an hour you'll wish it was over but it keeps on going. Zombies, super zombies, guns, some gore. Unfortunately the blood is CGI. But hey, Oleg Taktarov decapitates a zombie and soccer kicks it's head into another zombie's face. And an obvious stuntman fight between Dolph and Oleg's doubles. Jeez.
- DirectorRuss GommPhilip MearnsStarsKen ArnoldLauren BridglandBethany CalderAn author uncovers information for his new book which leads him to the conclusion that the Mad Axeman is more than just a legend and soon finds himself in a race against time to uncover the truth behind a new series of murders.This is called Axecalibur on Amazon. Has an interminable electronic score. There's some story but who cares? After an hour the Axe guy starts killing people, with cheap gore and spouting axe puns like "You had an Axe-ident!" Credits say there's more Mad Axeman movies to come. Great. Goddammitt
- DirectorMikhail RedStarsBea AlonzoCharo Santos-ConcioJake CuencaWhen a student's suicide rattles an all-girls Catholic school, a clairvoyant guidance counselor leans on a ghost to uncover the convent's abusive past.Dull and plodding. Oh well.
- DirectorPatrick DowningStarsSebastian DeeryHana HolubecKristian ReimerA drug dealer who discovers his girlfriend and best friend are having an affair secretly doses them with a strange new street drug where they are hunted by a murderous monster from within the hallucinatory world of the drug trip.Shot on video(iphone?), lowest budget, black and white horror or something. The tripping effects are simple realistic if you've ever tripped out before. Unfortunately only 2 people die and not much horror really happens. The budget is hard to overcome but they tried. Kind of sleazy. Should've been sleazier.
- DirectorNicholas Paul PontoskiStarsGabriella HarryMike MotylCory HandelongThe movie tells the story of Jocelyn, Ashm, Matt and Kelly, four characters very different from each other, that escaped into the woods after their county was hit with an unknown plague turning its residents into vicious creatures of the undead. This event forced the four characters to survive in the wilderness together in search of safety. However, in their attempt to find safe haven from this outbreak, they were followed into the woods by the creatures they were trying to escape.Yeah this movie hates you and is terrible. 4 bad actors wander around the woods for an hour or so. A few deaths, some bad gore. Some worse CGI blood. It is a zombie movie. Don't.
- DirectorTony D'AquinoStarsDanielle HorvatLeo StrippDean GouldA woman is kidnapped and finds herself an unwilling participant in a deadly game where women are hunted by masked men.Bunch of girls running around the woods being chased by scary masked men. Nowhere near enough gore for all the hype. A lot of offscreen deaths and aftergore. Then a stupid plot gets in the way. Get out of the way, plot, back to the killing. You'll watch it though. Might as well.
- DirectorMario SorrentiStarsThomas KretschmannNadine VelazquezBex Taylor-KlausA neuroscientist's obsession with a drug that expands the human mind inadvertently unleashes a deadly supernatural force on his team.Jump scares, mild gore, a disgusting monster. Some kind of shapeshifter that can only be seen or see you once you've taken a mystical drug. A tad psychedelic, looks good, not really dull. But nothing made much sense. Kind of like a bad trip.
- DirectorVincenzo NataliStarsLaysla De OliveiraAvery WhittedPatrick WilsonAfter hearing a young boy's cry for help, a sister and brother venture into a vast field of tall grass in Oklahoma but soon discover there may be no way out...and that something evil lurks within.Pretty good. Big budget, good production, acting etc. Story is interesting enough. Some eye stabbing, pagan evil, rotting corpses and one character crushes another's skull with his bare hands and pops their eyeball out.
- DirectorGene BlalockStarsAmber BensonKevin ChamberlinMat DevineAn anthropology professor's obsession with a paranormal mystery threatens her job, marriage, and sanity as she fights to find a missing student.Black magic, ritualistic blades, black magic. Not enough money to pull it off. Uses the good ole red and blue gels and looks cheap when it does. Not really a horror movie but watchable and just weird enough. There is a scene after the credits.
- DirectorTerry SpearsStarsRim BasmaLaurie CummingsWinnie DuThe ghost of a young asian girl who committed suicide a century ago is awakened by a group of college students, who fall victim to their own suicides under her spell.Brutal. Low budget soap opera cam look. Hardly lit. Boobs at the beginning, a decapitation, a girl drinks bleach and then the others stab or shoot themselves. Asian girl in the wedding dress? Not scary. Skip it.
- DirectorJonathan StraitonStarsTrey HarrisonRebecca C. KasekWayne W. JohnsonTeenage friends out for beach week get unexpectedly detoured to a isolated motel where a deadly STD virus now runs rampant, turning those infected into the living dead.Zombie comedy. Lots of nothing going on...gory beginning and ending. Comedy is hard. They should've just made a horror movie and it might've been better. Lots of sex...zero breasts.
- DirectorSamuel LeongStarsSamuel LeongJack ChanCash LeeA group of thieves break into an industrial complex to pull off a jewelry heist, but stumble upon a hidden laboratory where unorthodox SARS and Ebola experiments are taking place on stolen cadavers, who soon mutate into blood-thirsty zombies.I watched this director's newer movie 'BROADCAST DEAD' but it's not even on IMDB yet. Looks like a TV movie so quality is ok. Lots of zombies eating Halloween store limbs and getting shot between the eyes. Decent lead and a couple of awesome guns. 'BROADCAST DEAD' is sort of a Die Hard meets zombies movie, just not very good.
- DirectorDavid AllensworthMoniereStarsSandra Mae FrankKate Rose ReynoldsAnnabelle ReedBeelzebub, a powerful demon hellbent to possess and consume souls, goes after siblings and their lifelong friends at a rundown country house.Group of friends go to a farmhouse to take shrooms, pop pills and smoke weed and party. Then they play around with black magic and the redheaded Dark Wiccan chick gets possessed and goes on a murder/sex spree with a giant slug that's in her mouth and steals souls with it(?). Who knows? Standard demonic possession movie.
- DirectorCristian BroadhurstJames BroadhurstStarsTristan BalzJames BroadhurstJustin BurfordThree friends find themselves fighting for their lives when their urban exploration goes horribly wrong.3 annoying assholes go urban exploring in a huge building "off the grid". Toxic chemicals were stored and spilled there. A psycho is living there too. He likes to huff the chemicals, grab a gas mask, leather jacket, and crowbar. Then he murders any poor schmucks who enter the Derelict building.
- DirectorCarolina HellsgårdStarsGro Swantje KohlhofMaja LehrerTrine DyrholmIt has been two years since a zombie virus epidemic infected all but two German cities. Vivi and Eva flee the struggling community in Weimar for the one other safe-haven: Jena.Not really any zombie action. 2 girls go on an adventure. They meet zombies with plants growing out of their face, learn the true cause of the outbreak and fall in love. Oh yeah, one of them was eaten and is now a treeface zombie in love.
- DirectorFabien DelageStarsDoug RandPhilip SchurerGala Besson1976: Two young journalists leave for the French-Swiss border to investigate a strange case of cattle mutilations and record testimonies for a TV channel. Yet, once they get there, the scientific team they were supposed to meet has gone missing. Escorted by a first-aider, a British biologist and an American forensic investigator, Melissa and David will go looking for the missing team deep into the mountains.Truly awful. Awful for an awful found footage movie, even. 2 filmmakers meetup with 2 scientists and trek to a nearby camp that's gone dark. Just walking around in the snow, bullshitting for most of the movie until they get eaten by a werewolf. C'est tout! Also the director thinks film cameras from the 70's are just like video cameras today.
- DirectorOwen EgertonStarsDaniella PinedaAustin AmelioElle LaMontA woman is sent to a mental institution after stabbing her classmate in an attempt to conjure an evil spirit called, Mercy Black. Fifteen years later she's released, and must save her nephew, who has become obsessed with the phenomenon.Some jump scares, no gore but some blood and throat slicing. Paper mache monster because when his mom and her friends were kids, they built it...but it came to life. Kid is taken by monster at the end and seems pretty happy about it. Bye Mom.
- DirectorLuciana FaulhaberStarsLuciana FaulhaberLindsay EshelmanJavier E. GómezIn the tradition of classic horror movies, "Don't Look" is the story of five friends who leave NYC for a weekend they'll never forget.Every scene in this movie is weirder than the one before it and seemed like it came from a different horror movie altogether. What the hell was this? It has to be seen to be believed. The cinematographer seems to be insane as well.Hillbillies, boobs, evisceration,decaptiation, bunny roleplay sex, regular sex, kinky animal carcass sex, chainsaw, a bit of the gay.
- DirectorCharlie SteedsStarsDavid LenikRowena BentleyBarrington De La RocheGunned down in the snowy wilderness and desperate for shelter, Billy Cavanagh is taken in by kooky old lady Agnes, unaware that her isolated log cabin is being stalked by a bloodthirsty skinless creature hellbent on getting inside.Crazy serial killer lady in the woods is being hunted. She likes to skin people alive and has been on a murder spree. Poor Billy was trying to find her and gets stuck in her cabin. Dog, stew, people stew, skinned dog, skinless red men crawling about and a whole ton of super bloody and explosive headsots.
- DirectorAlexander EverStarsAnatoliy BystrikovAlexander EverKristine EverAddicted to Heroin and tormented by children, 8 Ball the clown tries to end his life and the torment, but he's just not able to, so he tracks down the kids who have been calling and calling and starts to play a game. Oh, I'll find you, I'll find you and then we're going to play all day. 8 Ball's mind is twisted from the Heroin and he brings a whole new meaning to playing. 8 Ball is so twisted that he will simply torment you.Guy in a clown suit screams, cusses, giggles and makes clown voices. This is z-grade stuff here. Poor camera, lighting and acting, directing and editing. Even worse, it's stretched out to 1hr45mi. How the fuck!?