Quick List: 25 Movie Failures, That Still Deserve a Watch
This Quick List can be completed in four weeks, if you watch one film a day, with three extra days for a break. You may like some of the movies more than me. You might hate some of the movies more than me. But, we will also end up agreeing on some of the movies on the list. That's one of the great things about cinema, movies and the art of film. Everybody gets a different thing, that they can take-away from a movie. That's the reason why the next 25 films deserve a watch and why, not too many people would recommend them for a second viewing.
These are movies, that get a PMTM grade of a Fail (4 IMDB = F-, F, F+). However I still recommend seeing these films, because you have to see these films to believe them. They are so bad, that they are good. These are films, that may have one or two, entertaining or interesting qualities in them, that propel these movies into deserving time, for a watch session by movie-buffs. Movies graded 4 IMDB deserve a watch.
My List Order is ranked from the Best (F+) to the Worst (F-). It may help you to sort these films alphabetically or in release year order.
My Rating System compared to IMDB:
10 IMDB = A+ (9.7 - 10.0) - Perfect
9 IMDB = A, A- (8.9 - 9.6) - Excellent
8 IMDB = B+, B, B- (7.7 - 8.8) - Very Good
7 IMDB = C+, C, C- (6.5 - 7.6) - Strong
6 IMDB = D+, D, D- (5.3 - 6.4) - Fair/Good
5 IMDB = E+, E, E- (4.1 - 5.2) - Worse than a D, Better than an F (E for Effort)
4 IMDB = F+, F, F- (3.1 - 4.0) - Fails, but still recommend seeing these films, because you have to see these films to believe them.
3 IMDB = UNWATCHABLES = 3 (2.1 - 3.0) = You shouldn't waste your time watching these films, but they are not the Worst Movies Ever Made. I still dare you to watch these..
1-2 IMDB = The Worst Movies Ever Made = 1 (0.1 - 1.0), 2 (1.1 - 2.0)
These are movies, that get a PMTM grade of a Fail (4 IMDB = F-, F, F+). However I still recommend seeing these films, because you have to see these films to believe them. They are so bad, that they are good. These are films, that may have one or two, entertaining or interesting qualities in them, that propel these movies into deserving time, for a watch session by movie-buffs. Movies graded 4 IMDB deserve a watch.
My List Order is ranked from the Best (F+) to the Worst (F-). It may help you to sort these films alphabetically or in release year order.
My Rating System compared to IMDB:
10 IMDB = A+ (9.7 - 10.0) - Perfect
9 IMDB = A, A- (8.9 - 9.6) - Excellent
8 IMDB = B+, B, B- (7.7 - 8.8) - Very Good
7 IMDB = C+, C, C- (6.5 - 7.6) - Strong
6 IMDB = D+, D, D- (5.3 - 6.4) - Fair/Good
5 IMDB = E+, E, E- (4.1 - 5.2) - Worse than a D, Better than an F (E for Effort)
4 IMDB = F+, F, F- (3.1 - 4.0) - Fails, but still recommend seeing these films, because you have to see these films to believe them.
3 IMDB = UNWATCHABLES = 3 (2.1 - 3.0) = You shouldn't waste your time watching these films, but they are not the Worst Movies Ever Made. I still dare you to watch these..
1-2 IMDB = The Worst Movies Ever Made = 1 (0.1 - 1.0), 2 (1.1 - 2.0)
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- DirectorJeff WadlowStarsMichael PeñaMaggie QLucy HaleWhen the owner and operator of a luxurious island invites a collection of guests to live out their most elaborate fantasies in relative seclusion, chaos quickly descends.Fantasy Island (2020), has the ingredients to be good. It starts out with the beautiful, tropical scenery, needed for a Fantasy Island scenario, Of that, I'm not sure how much of it was CGI, but it works. The core cast of the film are pretty good. We have the likes of Michael Pena, Michael Rooker and the beautiful Maggie Q. You have to give director/co-writer, Jeff Wadlow, some credit for trying to do a horror spin on a show, that was more of a serious, episodic, romantic drama, than anything else. The Blumhouse group has done a good job of producing some entertaining horror films since its founding in 2000. The same year this film came out, Blumhouse Productions also released a very good version of the Invisible Man (2020), staring Elisabeth Moss. So, things were aligned for a good visit to Mr. Roarke's resort. The film was also titled as Blumhouse's Fantasy Island in some releases.
The first problem arises with Michael Pena. The character of Mr. Roarke ends up not being fleshed out enough. It is confusing really what his motive is, even at the end of the film. I want to mention, that I really do like Michael Pena. I have been mostly exposed to his work from the first two Ant-Man films and his co-starring role in The Martian (2015). He is great in those films. He is a very good actor, but I felt he wasn't fitting into the Mr. Rourke, horror-guy role too well. For Maggie Q, most of her character, Gwen Olsen, seemed unutilized and useless through the first 2/3 of the film. One cool, interesting moment in the film happens with Michael Rooker's character, Damon. His most pivotal scene, happens near a cliff. It is a great shout-out to Cliffhanger (1993), which he co-starred in. It's also important to remember, that this film was released a mere month before Covid-19 closed all the theaters down.
What really harms the movie is a lifeless plot, that caters to old, tired, recycled movie tropes like, the war drama, the romantic drama, the sex comedy, which resembles The Hangover (2009), zombies and two women being chased by scary serial-killer-type creatures, much like every horror film released over the last 40 years. In an attempt to stick to easter eggs from the original show and cover all the territory, needed for an updated, rebooted, horror scenario, the film starts to unravel, spewing contrived plot tricks, as it spirals out of control by film's end. The core cast can't keep things above water, because the secondary and tertiary actors give a performance, which is left to be desired. So, much has to happen in the plot, that things are lifeless by the time things finish. It's a head-scratching end to a head-scratching theme. As you can see from my grade below, Fantasy Island (2020), is one of the better failures of recent years, so I still recommend seeing the film, because you have to see it to believe it. Applaud the attempt, but understand the negative reviews, that soon followed after its release in theaters, a mere month before the world shut down.
4.0 (F+ MyGrade) = 4 IMDB - DirectorShôji KawamoriYasuhito KikuchiStarsAya EndôJun FukuyamaSôichirô HoshiRumours arise in the Frontier government when Sheryl Nome arrives to the fleet for her concert and is marked a spy for Galaxy. Also Alto and Ranka both try to achieve their dreams as the battle between Frontier and the Vajra draws closer.Macross Frontier: The False Songstress (2009), was an out-of-control mess. The only positives I could find in this film was the usual stuff found in anime, which was the beautiful animation, vibrant background paintings and rich colors. It's the animation that saves this film from an unrecommendable tag from me. The animation is quite good. The rest of the film was awful. I never understood the allure, of the main subplot to the Macross mythos, which is crossing over a galactic war with Britney Spears-type of characters. The mix always confused me, bur it may be a lack of experience, with Macross, that is the problem for me. My experience with anime came in the 1970s/80s, with Space Battleship Yamato, Gatchaman, Mobile Suit Gundam, Akira and the works of Hayao Miyazaki. I have seen Robotech, but that's the English version. I'm going to do more research on the original Japanese Macross, watch some of the older stories and maybe revisit Macross Frontier: The False Songstress (2009), again someday, to see if my feelings on it have changed, but wow, for now, this was bad and actually induced a slight headache.
PMTM Grade: 4.0 (F+) = 4 IMDB - DirectorMarvin J. ChomskyStarsJames GarnerShirley JonesC. Thomas HowellSergeant Major Zack arrives at a new army base with his wife, son and Sherman tank. One night at a bar he "stops" a pimp/deputy from beating a girl. The corrupt sheriff uses Zack's son for revenge and Zack uses his tank.James Garner plays an aging Army soldier, named Sergeant-Major Zack Carey. He has to rescue his son Billy (C. Thomas Howell), from a corrupt, southern sheriff, named Sheriff Buelton (G.D. Spradlin). Buelton is enraged at Zack, because Zack beat-up one of the Sheriff's sleazy deputies, because the deputy (James Cromwell), beat-up a call-girl named Sarah (Jenilee Harrison). To get back at Zack, Buelton takes Billy into custody, using fake-drug charges and puts him in his prison. It's a good thing Zack has access to a Tank (1984), because it's time to break his kid out of jail. Also, beware, Tank (1984), is a much more, mature film, for a PG rating, however it was 1984. 1984 was the year, that the PG-13 rating was created, but Tank (1984), made it in before the change.
James Garner was dealing with a career, that was starting to plateau. He was heading towards 60 and the roles were becoming television-heavy. He was still a big star, which is probably why he got the starring role in this film. After this, he would become more of a supporting actor in movies, sequel TV-movies of the Rockford Files (1974-1980), and other TV shows. I will say this, Jenilee Harrison works better in dramas than she did in comedies. She seemed to fit into her role as Jamie Ewing, on the TV series Dallas (1978-1991), much better than she did in her comedy role, as Cindy Snow, on Three's Company (1977-1984). Tank (1984), is supposed to be a comedy and all through the film, I was wondering where all the laughs were. Tank (1984), is boring and has many silly moments. Tank (1984), begins to get so silly, that it reminded me of a twisted cross, between the Apple Dumpling Gang (1975) and Smokey and the Bandit (1977).
PMTM Grade: F+ (4.0) = 4 IMDB - DirectorTerry MarcelStarsSam J. JonesMaud AdamsJasper CarrottJane and the colonel must journey to Africa to the lost city to retrieve the diamonds before the Germans do. Based on the classic adult UK comic strip "Jane," especially popular during World War II for its strong pin-up elements.The idea of the pin-up poster was never a bad thing. It was very helpful for the morale of homesick soldiers, stuck on the front lines, fighting for their lives, during WWII. Jane grew out of that era and was the creation of a British author. She too was created to help morale during the terrors of WWII and even the wars that followed that. We flash to 1987 and British filmmakers, along with New World Pictures, decide to reboot Jane, with this really bad effort. In Jane and the Lost City (1987), Jane (Kirsten Hughes), is basically working for the British government, helping her friend, the Colonel (Robin Bailey), protect diamonds from the bad-guys. Jane's super-power is her clothes fall off, just in time, which distracts enemies (and sometimes friends, if need be), until she is able to escape or attempt to apprehend them. It's not dirty. It's not in poor taste. Jane and the Lost City (1987), has a PG rating, so that tells you that there is nothing to fear about the pin-up nature of this IP. It's everything else in Jane and the Lost City (1987), that makes it bad. I wanted to rate this film, even lower than, a "4", but in my book, any film rated less than four is unwatchable and I want people to see Jane and the Lost City (1987), in order to believe it, so I stayed at "4". You won't.
PMTM Grade: 4.0 (F+) = 4 IMDB - DirectorTed V. MikelsStarsWendell CoreyJohn CarradineTom PaceThe Plan - to build a super human. How? By murdering innocent, convenient victims, and using various bits of them. The result? Creatures on the rampage.To say Astro-Zombies (1968), is the worst movie ever made, is like giving into peer pressure way too soon. I have seen a lot worse. Beast of Yucca Flats (1961), anyone? Warrior Queen (1987), anyone? Anyway, there are some interesting things going on in the Astro-Zombies (1968), that need to be addressed, which might make it easier to enjoy this film. First off, director Ted V. Mikels, actually has some filmmaking skills. The film is actually shot pretty good. He did some really interesting, strategic editing and audio moves in this film. Most of the shots are framed well, although some of the surgery scenes, with Carradine, show a little too much head room in some of the shots. Mikels has a style and there is an established atmosphere in Astro-Zombies (1968), too. Also, Mikels makes a great decision to use toy robots, tanks and other wind-up toys, during the beginning credits, coupled with strategically loud sound effects, in order to keep the audience awake. Astro-Zombies (1968), also has a catchy theme song. It's a good choice, because right out of the gate, Mikels is fessing-up to the audience and making fun of the fact, that, yes, this is a low budget film (reports say $37,000.00). I'm telling you now, so try to enjoy Astro-Zombies (1968), for what it is. Let's just address the, actual, elephant in the room, which begins with the story. This film was co-written and co-produced by Wayne Rogers, who would later go on to be Trapper John McIntyre, in the first three seasons of the hugely successful comedy, war-drama, TV series, M*A*S*H (1972-1983).
Now, let's talk about the cast. There are some interesting things going on with the casting too. Of course, everyone knows the resume of John Carradine. However, once you see Astro-Zombies (1968), you might think Carradine is great using a screwdriver and he might be good at stealing car radios too. His dungeon-like, surgical room, looks like it was stocked by a hardware store and not really a medical equipment supply store. The star of the movie is played by Wendell Corey. Corey is most famous for playing a very pivotal role in Hitchcock's masterpiece Rear Window (1954). This would be his last film. He would die of liver failure from alcoholism, the same year Astro-Zombies (1968), was released. Tura Satana, who's greatest fame, was her iconic role in Russ Meyer's, Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965), just radiates a sexy, exotic, but vicious aura, with everything she does. She is the best part of this film. Joan Patrick also does a very good job in this film, however, Astro-Zombies (1968), looks like it was her last film too. After bouncing around on various TV shows for nine years, she disappeared after this film, from the public eye and has no credits, after 1968. So, there are a lot of interesting things going on in Astro-Zombies (1968), in order to enjoy it. Sure, this film has it's issues, like, "Bring me the blood mixer". That was an embarrassing scene to watch, especially if you like Carradine. There is stuff going on, like plastic hearts in fish tanks. There are many drawn out, slow, meandering scenes/shots, that are in the film. Mikels should have trimmed this thing back, about 30 minutes. The shortened runtime, would have helped too. At least it's 35mm film and was shot in color. Be assured however, John Carradine, is so handy, working down in that dungeon. I still recommend seeing Astro-Zombies (1968), because you have to see it to believe it.
PMTM Grade: 4.0 (F+) = 4 IMDB - DirectorStewart RaffillStarsChristine EbersoleJonathan WardTina CasparyAn alien trying to escape from NASA is befriended by a wheelchair-bound boy.I only knew about Mac and Me (1988), from the Paul Rudd comedy-bit, that he has done on every appearance, he ever made on the Conan O'Brien show, over the last 20 years. The infamous scene of the wheelchair going over the cliff is a huge part of that bit. Finally, over 35 years after the release of the film, I saw Mac and Me (1988), after reading, that it's one of the worst movies ever made. So, I went into this movie with a very open mind and what I have concluded is, it's a very weird movie. I really wanted to give this film an E for Effort (which on my ratings scale is considered fair/good/average 5/10), because it was winning me over in the first quarter of the film. I did find it interesting, that after I saw the Paul Rudd bit so many times over the years, might bias my opinion of Mac and Me (1988), so I made sure to look at the film as objectively as possible. It is clearly capitalizing off of the success of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982), six years later.
Things begin to crumble for the remaining 75% of this movie. The overall plot of Mac and Me (1988), starts to go down hill quickly and the product-placement you see all over the screen, actually doesn't bother me, as much as the unexplainable dance number that breaks out in the McDonald's, in order to sell the product. It totally derails the pace of the film, among a few other really goofy moments with the aliens. Also, these E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982), rip-off character designs, are really creepy looking compared to the lovable Steven Spielberg space-Bambi. The special effects aren't too bad for a low-budget, 1980s film, but that means, other areas of the film will suffer, because all the money went into the effects, such as acting, editing, soundtrack, no notable stars, audio mistakes, creature designs, you name it. The cheapness of Mac and Me (1988), flattens the good special effects. I can't say it's one of the worst movies ever made, but even influence from Paul Rudd can't save Mac and Me (1988), from still being labeled as a failure, but one that deserves to be watched, because you have to see this movie to believe it. Still a joy of wackiness.
PMTM Grade: 3.9 (F+) = 4 IMDB - DirectorAnnabel JankelRocky MortonStarsBob HoskinsJohn LeguizamoDennis HopperTwo Brooklyn plumbers, Mario and Luigi, must travel to another dimension to rescue a princess from the evil dictator King Koopa and stop him from taking over the world.Super Mario Bros. (1993), was another case of the source material, for a film idea, being too advanced for the cinematic technology of the day. CGI was just starting with Jurassic Park (1993), so the choice to do this film with practical, physical effects and live action characters was its major downfall. This prompted the story to be adjusted to fit the capabilities of the filmmakers of the day. It all culminates into a silly plot, that actually manages to make video game characters, caricatures of themselves. This however, isn't a knock on the special effects used in this film at all. The effects fit the pre-CGI era fairly well. They did a very good job with the special effects, art direction, set design and most of the costumes and make-up. There actually is a dinosaur in the film and the computer effects used for him are pretty good. For 1993, it is visually pleasant.
Dennis Hopper, as President Koopa (Bowser), looks ridiculous though. There also is this weird use of the fungus in the film. It looks bad technically and isn't menacing at all. Many of the characters are pail, empty and mindless, especially Samantha Mathis as Princess Daisy. It doesn't translate well, especially having to depict Mario (Bob Hoskins) and Luigi (John Leguizamo), running around Brooklyn. The attempt to make the film as real as possible backfires. I never got a chance to see this film when it was first released, but I had heard of the negative fallout that came after it was released. I remember when Siskel and Ebert gave it two thumbs down. Most film-buffs remember hearing, that Bob Hoskins hated the movie. This is probably why I never got around to seeing Super Mario Bros. (1993), until the 2023 film was announced. 30 years later I finally understood. This film is a failure, but I still recommend seeing it, at least once, as a curiosity, because you have to see it to believe it.
3.9 (F+ MyGrade) = 4 IMDB - DirectorW. Lee WilderStarsPeter GravesJames SeaySteve PendletonAn atomic scientist claims he was abducted by aliens after being injured in a plane crash.Killers from Space (1954), is a low-budget, independent film, that was distributed by RKO Pictures. The same people, who gave you Citizen Kane (1941), King Kong (1933) and many other classics. This was one of the more low-budget films, distributed by RKO, during one of their numerous transition periods, they went through, during their history. This film opens up, with an atomic bomb explosion (well stock footage of one anyway). Our low-budget hero is a scientist, named Dr. Douglas Martin (Peter Graves), who's plane crashes, while assisting the military, in studying an atomic bomb blast. The next day, he shows up, uninjured, without a scratch, but has no memory of what happened after the crash. There's also a mysterious scar on his chest. Directed by Billy Wilder's brother Lee, this cheap, science fiction film, is an early example of the alien abduction sub-genre.
Killers From Space (1954), could have been something, if it wasn't budgeted for pennies. The embarrassing special effects make the film a failure, but it still needs to be seen. The story that Wilder and Graves presents to us, does have a point, but is hampered by too many visits to the pet reptile tank. We eventually learn, that the space aliens, want to radiate their giant creatures, using our own atomic bombs and unleash them on Earth. There are many moments in Killers From Space (1954), of unintentional laughter from the audience. It's no wonder it was featured on MST3K, but you don't really need them to enjoy this film. The most laughable part of the movie is the make-up job done on the aliens. They have bulging eyes, that resemble two empty egg shells, cut in half, with black eye circles drawn on them. Also, take note on how much the alien leader looks like Robert Vaughn, with ping-pong balls on his eyes and the largest eye-brows ever. As Peter Graves says, "those horrible eyes", we really do believe it.
Let us also not forget, about the awful creature effects in the film, which are scenes of reptiles (and a couple insects too), filmed inside their tanks, with Peter Graves matted over-top, running around, like he is being chased by an old woman with a shotgun. You still want to root for young Peter Graves, because eventually he has great moments in his career later on, such as his Jim Phelps character in the original TV series, Mission Impossible (1967-1973), Captain Oveur in the 1980s Airplane movies and that nice guy, who hosted Biography in the 1990s. I will say this; the quality of the film does look better, since it was upgraded for streaming services. The effects looked much cheaper in the old VHS days. It's a shame the special effects, sound effects, make-up, costumes, set design, supporting cast and music are so bad in Killers From Space (1954), because it does give off a great vibe, of being the perfect example of this type of film, that is found in the back recesses of 1950s atomic-age cinema.
3.9 (F+ MyGrade) = 4 IMDB - DirectorOley SassoneStarsAlex Hyde-WhiteJay UnderwoodRebecca StaabWhen dosed with cosmic rays, four intrepid explorers are given incredible powers.I am so happy, that the Fantastic Four (1994), exists. It is a prime example of the trials and tribulations, experienced by film companies, in order to make a Marvel film in the 1990s. The first theatrical film (it never was released, but was completely intended to be a theatrical film and did make it, to a few science-fiction festivals, but was mostly relegated to bootleg VHS copies at sci-fi conventions everywhere), about Marvel's first-family in comics, the Fantastic Four. A group of cosmically super-powered heroes, named Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, the Thing and the Human Torch. It is the type of film, that needs to be produced by a huge film corporation, with a big-budget tied to it, for success and not, the amount of money to buy a Fiat, which Fantastic Four (1994), ended up being. It was an embarrassing moment in film history. The antagonistic foil of the Fantastic Four is their main enemy from the comics, Doctor Doom (Joseph Culp).
The Fantastic Four (1994), definitely got its inspiration, for the character of Doom's henchman, the Jeweler and his hoard of criminals, from the Penguin's entourage, seen in Batman Returns (1991). They even try to mimic Danny Elfman's soundtrack, rather awfully in this film. The plot of Fantastic Four (1994), goes off on odd tangents throughout the film, especially in all those sequences, that seemed to be separate from the main storyline, involving Doctor Doom's minions. I also saw some rip-off soundtrack influence, from the James Bond movies, which utilized inspiration from the great film music composer, John Barry. Fantastic Four (1994), is a perfect example of why you have to have money, in order to make a successful movie, let alone a superhero movie. Roger Corman produced this film, with his New Horizons Productions and patsy film-director, Oley Sassone and his crew, were left behind to finish this mess. You can't force a low budget superhero movie, even if you are Roger Corman. I still recommend seeing this film, because it has heart, drive and potential, that unfortunately falls flat. It is definitely required viewing for Marvel fans, mostly as a curiosity piece. Fantastic Four (1994), is an interesting, lost moment in film-history and to a degree, a huge lesson to filmmakers everywhere, what not to do.
PMTM Grade: 3.9 (F+) = 4 IMDB - DirectorDavid Gordon GreenStarsJamie Lee CurtisAndi MatichakJames Jude CourtneyThe saga of Michael Myers and Laurie Strode comes to a spine-chilling climax in the final installment of this trilogy.Halloween Ends (2022), was a huge disappointment. It may be the end. I worry, that franchises, like Halloween, the Jason Vorhees series and the Freddy Kreuger films, may follow in the wake of the old Universal Pictures horror monsters. That these characters, may becoming old news. That, the audiences won't take them serious anymore. Halloween Ends (2022), doesn't help matters at all. It may have made things even worse, especially for Michael Myers. I knew we were in trouble, when at one point, the film begins to resemble a twisted-up, Christopher Nolan film. Halloween Ends (2022), AKA: Bogeyman & Robin: The Dark Pumpkin Rises, is what happens in this film. I can't say why, because it involves a pivotal moment in the film, but is so silly, that it renders Michael Myers, into being a secondary character, to others in the film. The only saving grace for this film, is Jamie Lee Curtis was her old excellent self. The rest of Halloween Ends (2022), was ridiculous. Also, Haddonfield now looks, like it's the size of Newark, New Jersey now. Halloween Ends (2022), shows all signs, that the classic character from Halloween (1978), has been lost. It is a failure, but I still recommend seeing the film for historical sake and to finish out this trilogy of films. You have to see this film to believe it.
3.9 (F+) = 4 IMDB - DirectorRachel TalalayStarsRobert EnglundLisa ZaneShon GreenblattDream-haunting Freddy Krueger returns once again to prowl the nightmares of Springwood's last surviving teenager, and of a woman whose personal connection to Krueger may mean his doom.This film was directed by Rachel Talalay. At least, this film is a funny one. Forget about being scared or shocked. That wasn't the goal of this film. There is a scene, that is a cool homage to the Wizard of Oz (1939), with Freddy on a broom. This is the most sloppy of the films to date however. It does have a great acting boost in the form of Yaphet Kotto as Doc. I knew things were going down-hill when they had to throw in a Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold cameo. Be ready for that sad moment. I did not know actor Billy Zane had a sister, but here she is, actress Lisa Zane, as new character to the series, Maggie Burroughs. They definitely went for a campy angle for this entry in the series. They totally wanted to make it satirical and funny. There are however, many moments of bad comedy in the film too. It wasn't a secret though. It was written on the walls, all through the franchise run. They wanted to parody themselves, because the franchise itself was becoming a parody of itself, so let's make fun of ourselves.
What is so forgiving in these films are the effects, that are used in the movies. They are excellently produced effects, but in some scenes can look like toys. The forgiving part in these films, is the concept of the dream world. In one scene, after the kids enter the old Thompson house, outside, the house morphs into another, more terrifying house, that looks every bit like a little toy house. We don't mind, because this is a dream world. Who really can say, that it wouldn't look like that in a dream. We forgive some of the effects used in these films, because they work for the mythology of the source material. Freddy's character is also allowed to break the fourth wall, as evidenced in this film. In the bowels of a factory, Freddy takes from one of the characters, their hearing. While the deaf character is confused, Freddy turns to the camera and signals to the audience to be quiet, by hushing us. That too helped with the dream world concept in these films. Freddy's ability to break the fourth wall, elevating his abilities even more, over the other characters.
There is an amazing cameo by Johnny Depp in this film too. It totally shows how good of a sport he is, doing this cameo, for the franchise that got him started. Remember, It had been only seven years, since the original film was released, when this film came out. The Depp cameo was a great shout-out to the original film, being as that was his debut film. This is the kind of stuff that was good about this movie, but that was about it. There also was a lot of ridiculous moments, like the video game dream world. I saw a couple of weird edits and transitions, that were in strange spots in the film. The very end of the movie is downright awful. Freddy came in with a bang, but was going out as a joke.
3.8 (F+ MyGrade) = 4 IMDB - DirectorDanny SteinmannStarsMelanie KinnamanJohn ShepherdAnthony BarrileStill haunted by his past, Tommy Jarvis, who, as a child, killed Jason Voorhees, is sent to a secluded halfway house in the countryside, where the killing of a young man triggers a brutal series of murders in the area.Shot in California in 1984 on a budget of $2.2 million, the fifth film in the Friday the 13th series came out. Tommy Jarvis, the character who was played by Corey Feldman in the last film, is now older (maybe 17 or 18), with all the psychological scars someone would have after killing Jason Vorhees. They had a special prologue in the beginning of this film, with Corey Feldman returning in a dream sequence, where it looks every bit like Jason finally caught up to him. We then flash, what looks like, five or six years into the future and Tommy is on his way to a psychological youth camp near Crystal Lake. This really screws up the timeline for these films.
The first film, Friday the 13th (1980), took place in 1979, which is confirmed in the last film, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984), with the date on Pamela Vorhees tombstone. The second film, Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), takes place five years after the first film, which is confirmed by one of the counselors, so 1984. The third and fourth films don't give any indication as to when they happen, in relation to the first two films, but it is safe to say that, the events in the third and fourth movies, happen within a six month period. So, if we go with the idea that the last film and the beginning of this film happened in 1985, having Tommy come back, five or six years older, places the film after 1990. As you move through the series, you will notice a lack of a timeframe, is a common habit in this franchise. It was something they chose to ignore and never worried about explaining. This may however just be a side-effect of watching these films back-to-back, in the modern age of streaming services and not waiting a year or two for them to come out. When these films came out, audiences couldn't remember details like this, so seeing it today is an advantage.
We never really figure out how Jason returns, considering the dream sequence in the beginning. Are we to accept that it was real or not? It's a question that follows us, all the way through the movie. Older Tommy (John Shepherd), doesn't say much in the movie. He's all messed up. There is no lake, no camp ground or anything that resembles what the original three films started. As we move further into the series, we do find out that Jason can be drawn away from Camp Crystal Lake, although I would like to know how he travels. None of the characters are likeable in this film, especially Carol Locatell's Ethel and Ron Sloan's Junior. They are really annoying characters. There are two other beatniks, who are in a broken down car on the side of the road. They both resemble drop-outs from a James Dean movie. Fortunately they go quick. This is when this series starts to become a parody of itself. You actually are rooting for Jason to kill these idiot characters. They always throw somebody through a window. Jason always gets his victims in bunk beds.
The acting is atrocious in this film. The character of Joey, performed by Dominick Brascia is just embarrassing to see. Joey wanders around, eating chocolate bars, with perfect chocolate smudges provided by the make-up department, around the corners of his mouth. Its a ridiculous caricature. Fortunately, he is gone by the 20 minute mark of the movie. I really didn't like this movie when I saw it in theaters in 1985, in fact, I may have hated it. It still doesn't really grab me too much in the 21st century either, but I still recommend seeing this film, because you have to see it to believe it. It is a movie that fails, but deserves a watch, because of the Corey Feldman opening scene.
3.8 (F+ MyGrade) = 4 IMDB - DirectorJimmy HaywardStarsJosh BrolinMegan FoxJohn MalkovichIn exchange for his freedom, bounty hunter Jonah Hex must track down a terrorist with a superweapon.We open up Jonah Hex (2010), with a positive. We are handed a story, based on an obscure, early-1970s comic book, that combines the great traditions of the western film, with the supernatural forces of the undead. The character of Jonah Hex has been a steady mainstay in the DC/Vertigo comics-line, since the 1970s, but is considered, almost totally, unknown to those outside comic book circles, so every time I mention the movie to other people, I usually hear, “Jonah who”? So, being a “retired” comic book fan myself, I too only saw a tiny sliver of the Jonah Hex mythos in the comics. I possibly read one issue back in the 1970s and the response I had towards it, harbored on Jonah Hex being a neat idea for a character, but it was poorly executed, to the point of being silly. I felt, even before I reached my teenage years, that Jonah Hex seemed a little ridiculous and would be a character, that wouldn't be around much longer. We now flash to 2010 and we have a blockbuster, Hollywood movie, starring Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox and Michael Fassbender. This is a chance for DC, to make the character of Jonah Hex popular again. John Malkovich, the bad guy, has constructed a huge canon, that he plans on using on Washington DC, during the 100th anniversary celebration of America. This is were the fun ends. The way Jonah Hex (2010), is executed, further shows the problems with this character.
Both Josh Brolin and John Malkovich, look like they are just claiming a paycheck. Megan Fox winds-up being a useless character in this film. It is a total waste of all three of their talents. We do have a Tom Wopat sighting, which was interesting. It wouldn’t be a silly western, without Luke Duke from the Dukes of Hazzard (1979-1985). There also is Will Arnett, who plays a smarmy, union officer, who is just as plastic, as the other characters in the film. None of the characters are likeable. The most interesting and likeable characters in the whole film, are Hex’s two partners, his dog and his horse. Yes, unfortunately, other than the dog, the horse, looking at Megan Fox and an interesting character-idea for a film, the rest of Jonah Hex (2010), contains bad editing, poor structure and god-awful music. There are moments in the film where our director, Jimmy Hayward, tries to intercut different realities, with the current reality in the story, to depict the torment in Hex’s soul. It is a filmmaking device, used to increase the tension of the scene, which in this case, turns-out to be, a silly and distracting device. Jonah Hex (2010), is a bad, silly, ridiculous moment in film history. It only shows, that a bad comic book was made into a bad movie. I will say this though. Since, Jonah Hex (2010), was released in theaters, almost 15 years ago, the character of Jonah Hex has seen better days, with his film/television exposure. He was used successfully, a couple of times, in the Arrow-verse shows on the CW. He also has made a few, positive appearances, in DC's new, animated movies, that Warner Brothers streams on Max. As for Jonah Hex (2010), the only reason I didn’t give it an Unwatchable rating and settled for an “F"-rating was, that other than the few reasons mentioned earlier, is the fact, that Hollywood does have the special effects thing nailed down. One other saving grace, is Jonah Hex (2010), is only 80 minutes long.
PMTM Grade: 3.8 (F+) = 4 IMDB - DirectorJun FukudaYoshimitsu BannoIshirô HondaStarsKatsuhiko SasakiHiroyuki KawaseYutaka HayashiMegalon, the monster god of the vengeful underground kingdom of Seatopia, is aided by Gigan in attacking the surface world, until android Jet Jaguar teams up with Godzilla to fight them.I've probably seen Godzilla vs Megalon (1973), over 20 times in my life. I am a huge fan of these films. The good and the bad, but in times of need, I've been able to turn off my unbiased-button, in order to look at these in a straight-forward, critical way too. I've been watching the Showa Era series, steadily, since the 1970s, so I was used to seeing it in 4:3 all the time. Godzilla vs Megalon (1973), is much better in its original, theatrical, widescreen format, which includes, the Japanese language with English subtitles, available today and it looks great in the new 1080p restoration. This is not saying much towards the overall film, but you should compare the two (SD VHS 4:3 and 4K Blu-ray), someday and you'll see what I mean. Godzilla vs Megalon (1973), is not the worst Godzilla movie ever made, but it was the lowest point of the 1970s era, of Toho's, kaiju series. That's not saying much, considering the 1970s were brutal for Godzilla, across the board.
This era of Gojira was a rough-ride for the lizard-king. It moved the character towards a more kid-friendly, comedic, silly direction, that turned a force of nature into a giant boxing kangaroo. Godzilla vs Megalon (1973), also was the third film, out of the last four films, in the series, which had a kid as the main character, thus playing-up the kid-friendly angle of the film. It made perfect sense, that this was happening though. The creator of Gojira, Eiji Tsuburaya, had since passed away, but before he left, he had set-up Tsuburaya Productions, who was churning out, one of his other, great creations, Ultraman, at an incredible rate of episodes, per year, by the time we got to 1973. On top of that, there were tons of copy-cat, Ultraman shows, out there on Japanese TVs, playing all the time. This of course, influenced the Godzilla films to a degree, which explains his tag-team partner in Godzilla vs Megalon (1973), as the colorful robot, named Jet Jaguar.
Another obstacle Godzilla vs Megalon (1973), had to get through, that impeded its success, was the fact, that at the same time, an embattled, bankrupting, Japanese film industry, was feeling the pain and Toho had to slash budgets on their films, which really is felt in this film. This was the era of stock footage galore, with footage reused from numerous Godzilla movies, going all the way back to 1962. Even, as far back as, King King vs Godzilla (1962). In fact, they even took stock-footage from non-Gojira films. When Megalon goes behind the trees, while the military is shooting their death-rays at him, the shot of him dodging the rays from behind the trees, was taken from either, Frankenstein vs Baragon (1965) or the War of the Gargantuas (1966). I'm not sure which one, but it was one of those. All the stock-footage was used in the military gathering scenes, monsters destroying the city scenes and, parts of the fight-scenes with the monsters. The shot with Megalon's lasers blowing up the Mobile gas-station, weren't even his lasers. They were stock-footage shots of King Ghidorah's lasers, from about eight movies back. Budget-cuts always kill a movie.
There also is a question if these films really were intended for kids. There is enough in Godzilla vs Megalon (1973), that earned the film a PG rating in the U.S. and I'm pretty sure I saw an old poster, that had an R-rating on it, for somewhere in the world. You can clearly see why in the new, improved, restored, Japanese versions, that you can stream on Max or Tubi, currently today. So, don't be fooled. Godzilla vs Megalon (1973), is not really for kids, with a PG-rating for language, violence and some magazine nudity, plus there's even smoking. There is a scene depicting our good-guys, Roku and Hiroshi, breaking back into their house, so they can stop the bad-guys (operatives of the subterranean culture, known as Seatopia), and regain control of Jet Jaguar. They use a toy plane and fly it into the face of one of the saboteurs. He grabs his head with a glob of fake blood in his hand. Another guy gets thrown out of a truck, that has Playboy centerfolds taped to the back of the cab and he rolls down a cliff. Finally, another bad-guy, gets crushed by a huge rock. By the way, all of these scenes were deleted from the original American version, that was shown in the 1970s and all through their VHS releases, seen in the 1980s and 1990s. I think people think these films are for kids, because non-nerds think we are all 15 year-old kids. That is fine, but beware of false claims on target-audiences.
There are other miscues in Godzilla vs Megalon (1973). Things like, audio sound effect mistakes, like squealing tires on dirt roads. There is a scene were Godzilla is running, Keystone Cop-style. The final fight scene is one of the worst ever. It has the famous Godzilla scene, with him flying through the air (he actually makes a turn), with a drop-kick blow into Megalon, while Jet Jaguar secures the evil monster. Jet Jaguar and Gojira actually having, what looks like, a conversation, also enhances the silliness. It is pretty brutal. It isn't all bad news for Godzilla vs Megalon (1973). There is a cool contrast between the colors of Jet Jaguar's suit and the choice of colors, that inventor Goro (Godzilla legacy-actor, Katsuhiko Sasaki), and his friend Hiroshi, use for their cars. There also is a half-decent car-chase and Megalon attacking a dam is kind of cool too. For really big laughs, watch the English dubbed version. Then compare it to the Japanese version. Even though, I give Godzilla vs Megalon (1973), a Failed grade, I still recommend seeing it, because you have to see it to believe it. Then forget about it and enjoy the rest of the Gojira, kaiju, Showa-Era of films, by the great Toho Studios. Plus, it's a film series, so you have to watch it.
PMTM Grade: 3.8 (F+) = 4 IMDB - DirectorEdward D. Wood Jr.StarsEdward D. Wood Jr.Bela LugosiLyle TalbotA psychiatrist tells the stories of a transvestite (Glen or Glenda) and a pseudohermaphrodite (Alan or Anne).It's easy to call a movie low-budget, when that accusation is based off of seeing poor, special visual effects, used in a cheap, science-fiction film. It could be an easy accusation, when seeing amateurish acting, or cheap set-pieces in the scenes, but when a film looks like it was low-budget, just because the film stock used to shoot the film, looks well below professional grade film-stock, like Super-8, you may have an Edward D. Wood JR. film on your hands. We leave the more-familiar science-fiction world of Ed Wood (Plan 9 From Outer Space, 1957), and witness his dramatic-side, albeit exploitation-side and enter into a world, not as unknown today in the 21st century, but in the 1950s, turned the world upside-down. Glen or Glenda (1953), is also known as, I Led 2 Lives (1953).
The basic premise of the film is about Ed Wood's secret-life as a transvestite. You need to see Tim Burton's Ed Wood (1994), for a satirical look at that part of Ed Wood's life. It helps to explain why this film was made. In order to capture that science-fiction side of himself, for Glen or Glenda (1953), Wood turned to veteran horror film actor, Bela Lugosi, to deliver to a world turned asunder, the poetic truths about sex-change operations, running amok in the 1950s. A dawn of a new world. Glen or Glenda (1953), still unintentionally hilarious. The acting is atrocious, other than Bela, who actually gives a couple of crazy, but foreboding, silly speeches about the future. Again, to really enjoy this film and the career of Ed Wood, is to watch the Burton film before this film.
3.7 (F+) = 4 IMDB - DirectorJorge MontesiDominique Othenin-GirardStarsFaye GrantMichael WoodsMichael LernerTwo attorneys adopt a mysterious orphan girl as their daughter, unaware she is the new Antichrist, next in line to Damien Thorn.Even though this film was designated as a made-for-TV film and released in the United States on television, it also was released in movie theaters in the United Kingdom and in Australia, thus making it officially, a theatrical film. In this fourth installment of the Omen series, the producers decided to change the gender of the main character. In the tradition of classic Hollywood, that came before it, the writers wanted to explore the idea, that Damien may have eventually had a child, but this time the mantle of the Devil is passed down to a woman. It's like those classic films, that always switched gender, in order to glean more stories from the subject matter. We first had the Invisible Man (1933) and eventually we got an Invisible Woman (1940). We had the Amazing Colossal Man (1957) and then we got Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958). We had an Incredible Shrinking Man (1957) and eventually got an Incredible Shrinking Woman (1981).
Faye Grant, before this film was released, was most notable for her work on the hit TV series, the Greatest American Hero (1981-1983) and V (1984-1985). Her character in Omen IV: the Awakening (1991), Karen York, takes on the character spot, previously held by Gregory Peck and William Holden in the first two Omen films. She is, once again, another parent, who needs to cope with the idea, that she may need to kill her adopted child, because it may be a descendant of the Devil. Trying to accept what is happening, having to struggle, making sense of all of this, is supposed to be the main motivation for her character. The magic felt by Peck and Holden doesn't materialize in this film. In fact, nothing really does. It tries to be a remake of the first three films, by making the main attraction female.
The decision to tackle a story like this, with too low of a budget, turns out to be a bad decision. The characters are bland and the actors seemed unable to generate the energy needed for this to work. It doesn't help that the effects are not great either for 1991 and they make the film even campier. The direction and the script seemed confused with each other. The pacing can't be controlled and the production itself, seemed out of control. This is not a good film, but I couldn't deem the film Unwatchable. If anything, give Faye Grant a chance and watch how the producers kill this franchise, by replacing the six daggers from the first three films, with healing crystals and New Age psychics. At least Michael Lerner, tried his best.
3.6 (F MyGrade) = 4 IMDB - DirectorOvidio G. AssonitisStarsJohn HustonShelley WintersBo HopkinsA mutated giant octopus wreaks havoc on a California seaside community.Tentacles (1977), is a failure, however, I do recommend seeing this film, because you have to see it to believe it. How can a film, with the star power of Shelly Winters, John Huston and Henry Fonda, fall so flat? Again, it all stems from its budget. This low-budget, European-produced, B-movie tries its best to believably convey, that a killer, mutated octopus, is causing havoc on the beaches of a California community. Hot off of the success of Jaws (1975), many copy-cat movies came out, featuring monsters from the deep. Most of them were of the low-budget variety. This was one of the more funny sides to that coin.
3.5 (F MyGrade) = 4 IMDB - DirectorJoel SchumacherStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerGeorge ClooneyChris O'DonnellBatman and Robin try to keep their relationship together even as they must stop Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy from freezing Gotham City.When your Batman movie begins to look sillier than the classic, Adam West, Batman (1966-1968), TV show, especially after Tim Burton spun his magic, just years before this, then you might have a problem. That is not a dig on that classic version of Batman, that I am suggesting at all. The adventures of Adam West and Burt Ward, was actually a pretty good show in its own unique way. It was however ridiculous and reflected the mood of Batman at the time, as well as, the mood of television audiences in the late 1960s. Look at the list of TV shows that were on at this time. It was a goofy time for entertainment in this, still young, medium called television. We flash to the late 1990s. Batman is a completely different type of character in the comic books. To this point in film adaptations, the case is the same too. We have transitioned from the Caped Crusader to the Dark Knight. Thirty years have gone by.
Enter director Joel Schumacher, who decided to bring back that taste of 1960s flare in his previous Batman film, Batman Forever (1995). I don't really know if it was pressure from baby-boomers, who grew up with the old TV show or lots of fans from the 1960s, but the movement was there. Some were a little bit resistant to Burton's darker version of Batman. They wanted the Batman-guy from their youth. Schumacher himself was 27 years old in 1966, so maybe he was a big fan of the show. Who knows, either way, the decision was made to bring in some of that comedy and satire of the 1960s, for Batman Forever (1995). Well, they used the right amount in that film. It is a good homage to that mood of Batman and should have satisfied those fans. It also kept enough of what represented Team Burton also. Schumacher had a hit on his hands. The film wasn't beat up in the critical arena too bad and it made a lot of money. It satisfied the fans fairly well, but I think the writing was on the wall, because today the Burton films are much more popular, well-respected and talked about. But that was that film.
Schumacher and crew got the greenlight to do the fourth film in the series, Batman and Robin (1997), but this time, Tim Burton was gone (he directed the first two films and produced the third one). Schumacher was let loose. The silliness, goofiness and avoidance of the current incarnation of what Batman had become, was replaced with a 1990s version of Yvonne Craig (Batgirl) and Otto Preminger (Mr. Freeze). It was a bad idea. It completely kills this film. There is a reason why most people don't like this movie. Even George Clooney joked on late night TV or somewhere, that he was worried, that he killed the Batman franchise. Fortunately, 8 years after this film came out, Christopher Nolan released his version of the Dark Knight, in Batman Begins (2005) and all was forgotten.
In what was an obvious remake of the original TV show, Batman and Robin (1997), utilizes the same story seen on the TV show (the popular version of Mr. Freeze in the comics too), in which, Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger), is committing all his crimes, in order to save the life of his beloved wife, who he had cryogenically frozen, while he assembles the necessary components needed to save her. Flanking Mr. Freeze, is our other co-leading bad-guy, or should I say bad-girl, Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman), who uses her powers over plants and her intoxicating poison, that stops men (or Batmen), in their tracks. Along with those two, we are handed a painfully, dreadful version of Bane (Jeep Swenson), in this film. It would be something else that Christopher Nolan would need to correct years later. We also get to see some Bat-surfing (still ridiculous).
I wanted to classify this film as an "Unwatchable" film, but I settled with an "F" (4 Stars). Even though the film is a failure and somewhat of an embarrassment to watch, you still need to see this film, because you have to see it to believe it. Even though the film is a mix of action-paced environments, that are quite colorful, there still are some sloppy moments (see Robin struggling against tentacled vines, that are trying to drown him). The film is worth a watch just to see Arnold Schwarzenegger's, highly-quotable, campy performance as Mr. Freeze. It is actually a delight to see. I don't even want to talk about Batgirl (Alicia Silverstone). It is a hollow character. Be prepared for the Bat-nipples. Be prepared to be shocked and annoyed. Maybe even sad.
3.5 (F MyGrade) = 4 IMDB - DirectorRob HeddenStarsJensen DaggettKane HodderTodd CaldecottJason Voorhees is accidentally awakened from his watery grave and ends up stalking a ship full of graduating high-school students headed to Manhattan, New York.So, eight movies into this franchise and I keep forgetting that these films were originally released by Paramount Pictures, who's logo comes up in the beginning of each film. We come to the campiest part of the series. The time when the parody replaced the horror film. Camp Crystal Lake is now big enough for 20 foot boats. And, after a couple movies, it turns out Jason can be woken up by electricity, but only on Friday the 13th, yeah, ok. So, in the original film, Camp Crystal Lake was located in New Jersey and was big enough to be an over-sized pond, but in this film, it has room for a 20 foot boat and a river big enough for that boat to float upstream to Iceland (subbing for Canada?), it looks like, where Jason hitches a ride on a mini-cruise ship, bound for New York. The ship then looks like it is cruising over Lake Michigan in a brutal storm, which I guess is supposed to be the Atlantic Ocean. For a majority of the film, we are on the cruise to hell, while Jason chases after graduating students from Lakeview High. Jason makes it to New York City with 30 minutes left in the movie.
The basic plot, especially the scenes on the ship, in some ways, reminds me of Bram Stoker's story about Dracula. Having Jason preying on the people on the ship, like Bela Lugosi in Dracula (1931) or Max Schreck in Nosferatu (1922), has an interesting similarity. It is even more evident, when the New York City police are inspecting the ship, that ran aground, full of corpses, just like in the different depictions of Dracula. I noticed a few things in this film, that reminded me of other movies. Part of the plot reminded me of The Poseidon Adventure (1974), too. There is an extra side-story, involving the captain of the ship and his son. It had the similar character development pattern found in disaster movies. It was appropriate though, because of the impending doom we know is coming to everyone. This was really the only interesting part to the film.
Once Jason gets to Manhattan, he seems to be ignoring the New-Yorkers and just keeps chasing the people from Crystal Lake. I guess we are to assume, he only kills those from the lake? So, he is ignoring the New Yorkers? Jason is much faster in this film. Jason is also an excellent swimmer. I did not know Jason bellowed like a dinosaur when you throw toxic chemicals on him. Jason can read, "In Case of Fire, Break Glass". Jensen Daggett, who plays Rennie, keeps seeing premonitions/visions of, I guess, Jason drowning. It makes no sense and comes out of nowhere. That is just part of the paper thin plot found in Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989).
The majority of the film has very unlikeable characters, which is typical of these films. It is a believed idea, that the point to making the characters unlikeable is, that you root for Jason to kill them. That is the point. Jason is the anti-hero in this. Composer, Harry Manfredini, left the series after doing all of the films up to this point. Fred Mollin, who co-composed with Manfredini on the last film, took over the reigns, to fully compose this film. There is a stark difference in the music. That is not a commentary on the quality of the music, but the music seems to accidently emphasize the camp-atmosphere felt in the film. Veteran television and film actor, Peter Mark Richman plays Dr. Charles McCulloch, the chaperone of the students. On the flip-side of the career scale, making one of her early film appearances is Kelly Hu (Nash Bridges, 1997-1998 and Arrow, 2012-2019), as Eva Watanabe.
The film is a slight mess in its design. There are some strange edits, found in the wrong places. It contains a ridiculous ending to an even more ridiculous movie. Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), is a failure and I am not alone on this. You can see the results, that the critics came to, as well as, the audience scores, anywhere online. I remember the noise heard, even back in 1989, when everyone said this film stinks. I'm pretty sure I saw it in theaters, so I probably read some of the bad reviews or saw an episode of Siskel and Ebert (1975-1999), back in the day. I do remember people being almost-angry about it. Even though this film is a failure, I still think it should be seen, because you have to see it to believe it. Other than the Dracula comparison, a few clever scenes and Peter Mark Richman being a jerk, I would tell you to skip this one, but it was the end of an era for this franchise. Is this the end of Jason? No, but it sure looks like the producers wanted to kill him. That makes sense considering New Line Cinema would pick up the franchise for the ninth film, Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993).
3.5 (F MyGrade) = 4 IMDB - DirectorRafael PortilloStarsRamón GayRosita ArenasCrox AlvaradoA mad doctor builds a robot in order to steal a valuable Aztec treasure from a tomb guarded by a centuries-old living mummy.The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy (1958), holds the record for the most times hearing characters say the word, "breastplate". In this iteration of the Mexican mummy movies, the mummies don't like crosses. That's an interesting take for mummies. That's usually a vampire-thing. Anyway, there is still a charm to Mexican horror-cinema of the 1950s, most notably the cheap, low-budget, science fiction movies, that they churned out, year after year, during those glory days, of the post-atomic, science-fiction eras of filmmaking. I always wondered if the Robot vs the Aztec Mummy (1958), would be much better, if we had access to the original Mexican-language version, with English subtitles. If you remove the basement-bargain special effects and creature designs, the thing that really kills this film, is the horrible translation, dialogue, dubbing and story, that the English-dubbed version provides. The bad, over-acting is hard to believe and is enhanced in the dubbed version.
Try and find the trailer for this film too. It's also funny. Make sure you watch the first two films in this series also (Aztec Mummy, 1957) and Curse of the Aztec Mummy, 1957). The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy (1958), is an even more, discounted, recap, wrap-it-up, type of film, for the first two low-budget films. It borrows lots of scenes from the two previous films and then throws in a guy with an spaghetti-strainer on his robotic head, wrestling another guy in a bad mummy costume for a quick finale. In my opinion, a rating of 3 or less, is considered an unwatchable film, but I want people to see the Robot vs the Aztec Mummy (1958), in order to believe it. So, I went with a 4, which is still a grade of "F", but it's still a beauty of one.
PMTM Grade: 3.4 (F) = 4 IMDB - DirectorJames IsaacStarsKane HodderLexa DoigJeff GeddisJason Voorhees is cryogenically frozen at the beginning of the 21st century, and is discovered in the 25th century and taken to space. He gets thawed, and begins stalking and killing the crew of the spaceship that's transporting him.It's interesting reading up on the film rights disputes, that have been going on between Paramount Pictures and New Line Cinema these days. That's why you haven't seen a Jason Vorhees movie since 2009. They are still fighting over, who actually has the right to make another Friday the 13th movie. So, Jason continues to sit in creative limbo here in the 21st century, until that all gets figured out. So, getting back to this film, New Line Cinema brought Jason back, completely ignoring their plotline from the previous film, Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993) and try to pull off a reboot, of sorts.
It has been eight years since we last saw Jason Vorhees in the theaters. A lot may have happened to him, off camera, since the last film. The events in this film happen after the year 2008, then we jump 450 years into the future. We start up in the beginning of this film, where Jason is shackled away in a Crystal Lake Research Facility (boy Crystal Lake has grown a lot since 1979). Scientist realize he can't be killed. His recuperative abilities are a mystery. He is slated for cryogenic suspension, in order to get rid of him forever. He doesn't seem to be the worse for wear. He's not even his old disfigured self anymore either. He has his hockey mask back too.
A horrible group of characters inhabit the futuristic research vessel, that Jason ends up on. What is really hilarious about the whole set-up, are half of the crew look like teenage camp counselors. That is the producers of the film, sticking to a Jason Vorhees staple. All the characters deliver bad dialogue and silly one-liners. There is nothing but tired plot scenarios and scenes that are not needed. There is one funny scene, in which Jason meets two women in a camp site hologram. The science fiction part of the plot, totally gives off a Star Trek vibe. This is definitely Jason's biggest death toll in one of his films.
On the good side, Jason X (2001), does however, have that feeling of being like an old Roger Corman, science fiction movie from the 1970s. That doesn't save it from being a joke however. The plot gets a little tiring and the end seems to never come. Jason just keeps coming back for more, as a grade D, Star Trek episode, unfolds in front of us. Jason's essence even takes over the ship's computer in a ridiculous plot-twist. Eventually, the story goes from Star Trek to Space Balls. It just feels a little bit too comic-bookish. I wanted to put this film on my Unwatchable List, but you have to see this film to believe it. The film is still a failure, but I still think it was a brave attempt to take a tired IP and try to do something different with it. You also are treated to a David Cronenberg sighting. The legendary science fiction/horror director, plays the role of Dr. Wimmer. That's worth it I think.
3.3 (F- MyGrade) = 4 IMDB - DirectorTom MooreStarsDawn WellsDana PlatoDavid SobieskTwo men travel deep into the woods to search for a Bigfoot-like creature called "Big Bay-Ty" which has recently been sighted near Boggy Creek. Three children secretly follow. Little do they know a hurricane is about to commence.This is the sequel to the more, critically accepted, docudrama, Legend of Boggy Creek (1972), about the Fouke Monster of Arkansas (a version of Bigfoot). The documentary aspect of the original film, is what critics felt gave Legend of Boggy Creek (1972), a better critical grade, even though, the film is still, very low-budget and a little thick on the hillbilly-ness. Return to Boggy Creek (1977), throws away the docudrama side of the film and creates an aura, comparable to a Swiss Family Robinson film from the 1960s. Touting even a lower budget, this ridiculous, G-rated, survival film, explores the fictional story, of kids in the bayou, stuck in a hurricane, who eventually are ....... wait for it ...... rescued by the monster.
Shot in Texas and parts of Louisiana, Return to Boggy Creek (1977), is a rough watch, especially since the only versions available for this film are muddy, poor contrasted, VHS versions on YouTube or streaming services. The film is a failure, however, I couldn't put Return to Boggy Creek (1977), on my Unwatchables list, so I am giving it an F. I still recommend seeing films I rated an F, because you have to see these films to believe them. Return to Boggy Creek (1977), still has some important aspects to it, that may draw some film fans into seeing it, especially when talking about its cast. This film stars Dawn Wells (Mary Ann Summers, just before she was Rescued From Gilligan's Island in 1978) and Dana Plato (Kimberly Drummond, a year before she joined the cast of the TV series, Diff'rent Strokes in 1978). There also is a couple silly folk songs that pop up in the film.
3.3 (F- MyGrade) = 4 IMDB - DirectorRay KelloggStarsJames BestIngrid GoudeKen CurtisOn an isolated island, a small group of people are terrorized by giant voracious shrews in the midst of a hurricane.James Best, known as Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane of Dukes of Hazzard (1979-1985), fame, gets the starring role in this Ray Kellogg-directed film. Believe it or not, but the Killer Shrews (1959), is not a Roger Corman film. However, the budget on this film is incredibly low. The special-effects for the large shrew-creatures, are real dogs covered in really bad costumes. The technical staff also used hand puppets for the giant killer shrews as well. That is why this is a tediously boring film. Most of the film takes place in a large house in one room, with bad dialogue, just for killing time, until the costumed dogs and hand puppets make their appearances. The stupid attack scenes are few and far between, because, let's face it, costumed dogs and hand puppets, shouldn't be on the screen too much. I mean, you don't want the movie to look too stupid, do we?
I did watch a colorized version recently of the Killer Shrews (1959), on Amazon Prime, that helped enhance the production a little bit more. I'm not condoning colorization, however I have also seen the black and white version, a couple of times, over the years, so I think I have enough information about the Killer Shrews (1959), to garner an opinion on the whole thing, but if you need extra sparkle, in order to watch this movie, maybe the colorized version is for you. Besides, this film needs all the help it can get. This film is a failure, but there is just enough to it to still find some fun. I still recommend seeing the Killer Shrews (1959), mostly to support Roscoe, but really, you have to see the film to believe this film.
PMTM Grade: 3.2 (F-) = 4 IMDB - DirectorAdam MarcusStarsJohn D. LeMayKari KeeganKane HodderSerial killer Jason Voorhees' supernatural origins are revealed.Four years went by, since last film, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), was produced. New Line Cinema picked up the lead on producing and distributing this film. A position, once held by Paramount Pictures. In doing so, they rebooted the franchise here, making no reference, at all, to the previous films, especially the last one, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989). This film actually starts up with Jason's demise. We soon find out, a new ability that Jason has. Jason's essence of evil, can be transferred into another body. We realize quickly who the new body is and the formulaic fun ensues from there. It is clearly an addition to the Jason myth, that New Line cinema wanted to insert into the sub-plot. It is a terrible mistake.
Jason's method of transferring his essence into his hosts, resembles a freaky looking tongue-tentacle, reminiscent of bad, old, horror movies from the 1950s. It's ridiculous. Also, Jason's blood has now become a black evil goo. So now, when he gets shot, it looks like ink is splattering against the walls. This evil essence transference, by the end of the film, gets way out of hand. The filmmakers use it way too much. Jason, who can't talk when he is himself, ends up coming up with the ability to talk, at the most important part of the movie. Eventually, he becomes a little creature moving about the floor, like something from John Carpenter's, The Thing (1980). It is very sad to see.
The last couple of films have felt like direct to video movies. This one felt like a cheap TV series. If you don't think of this as a Jason Vorhees movie, it's still ridiculous, but easier to watch. Oh, believe it or not, but there is a magical sword this time, as part of the sub-plot. Man, this franchise has gone off the rails. There also is a book with an uncanny resemblance to the Book of the Dead from Evil Dead (1981). Also, a new character is introduced, the bounty hunter, who tracked down Jason, Creighton Duke (Steven Williams). I really wanted to put this film on my UNWATCHABLES List, but settled with a failure grade (4/10), on this film instead. That means the film fails, but I still recommend seeing the film, because you have to see it to believe it. There is however a very big surprise at the end of the film, signaling things to come from New Line Cinema. It's just strange, that Jason X (2001), would be the film, that came next.
3.1 (F- MyGrade) = 4 IMDB - DirectorRobert GaffneyStarsMarilyn HanoldJames KarenLou CutellA Martian princess and a doctor replace the women on Mars, destroyed by atomic war, by raiding Puerto Rico while a shot down android terrorizes all.Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster (1965), is a low-budget, science-fiction film, that's got a rockin' soundtrack, but awful make-up and the costumes are atrocious too. We will get to the bad acting later. The bad costuming is especially evident on Lou Cutell, who plays the nefarious Dr. Nadir. Also, in the cast, is Bruce Glover, as an uncredited alien and another, bad make-up job. The film also stars James Karen as our main, leading character, Dr. Adam Steele. Steele has created an android, named Frank (get it? Frankenstein), who's space capsule is shot down by Martians, who are invading Earth, to replenish their decimated female population. Being as it was 1965, the film industry was knee-deep in beach-party movies. Those types of movies were red-hot, due to the popularity of Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello's beach movies. So obviously, Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster (1965), cashes in on that trend, with Dr. Steele running around Puerto Rico, trying to track down his malfunctioning, rampaging robot and the Martians, having their own, beach blanket bingo, while kidnapping women.
The space-suits the aliens wear, look like rejected, old, astronaut suits, that were stolen from NASA. The way Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster (1965), is presented, has the set-pieces looking like a bunch of rich, college-kids, with connections to NASA, decided to make a movie. Marilyn Hanold, who performs as the alien princess, Marcuzan and Dr. Nadir, both look like they are hosting a really bad, TV shopping network, on a set, that's supposed to be an alien spacecraft. There is an awkward, seriously out-of-place, romantic, motor-scooter ride, between Steele (James Karen) and his assistant/girlfriend Karen Grant (Nancy Marshall), through Puerto Rico, which actually looks like, it was just hit by a hurricane. The scene is basically crafted for the song, that is playing in the background. Another nod to the low-budget feeling in Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster (1965), is the over-abundant use of stock-footage. It looks like director Robert Gaffney, got his hands on a lot of aviation films and NASA stock-footage.
The acting in Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster (1965), is terrible and the directing is juvenile. All of the characters, who get kidnapped by the aliens, put-up no fight at all and actually look like, they are content with their situation. They really could care-less about the fact, that they are being kidnapped for use as sex-slaves. They just quietly get in the menacing spaceship. There is no mention in the story, that anyone has mind-control or anything. The kidnapped extras show no fear or danger, unless they are part of the main cast. Director Gaffney saves all the acting for the main cast and the rest are empty extras. The directing miscues are dizzying in Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster (1965). It was nice seeing this film in its original, theatrical aspect ratio on the streaming service I found it on and not a cheap, 4:3 TV or VHS version. With the new, restored, remastered, widescreen version, available today, Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster (1965), looks more like a a polished, Plan 9 From Outer Space (1957), which I actually like more than this film.
PMTM Grade: 3.1 (F-) = 4 IMDB