- Humor has become so cliché and boring that nothing's funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable.
- "We just write down a bunch of words, and pray to god they make sense. And if we don't, it doesn't matter, we're artists" (On how Blink-182 write their music).
- I applaud anyone who thinks I'm good-looking and invite them into my world.
- I came up with a little formula. If you write songs about girls, you get more girls at a show. We write A LOT of songs about girls.
- We were bored and we couldn't get chicks. So we decided if we'd be in a band, that would take care of two problems at once.
- Everyone else but me surfs. I grew up skateboarding, but I don't even do that anymore. I'll get hurt and die... But if I die, I'll sell more records. We're thinking of doing that. Actually dying.
- Since [Pink Floyd's] The Wall, this has never been done. A third of the movie is CGI, a third of the movie is a documentary and a third of it is a love story. And it basically tells the story of the breakup of one of the biggest bands in the world and the creation of the world's greatest rock band, ... It's a documentary about the past year of my life. But the whole thing is done with metaphors and analogies of World War II. Because World War II was good versus evil, the grand sense of purpose, and seeing as though I started this new part of my life specifically for my family, I felt that it would be an appropriate reference point rather than using modern images.
- Like millions of others, I have been plagued by the devastating effects of cancer hitting not one, but multiple members of my family. Keep A Breast creates events that are not only inspiring and beautiful, they provide a call to action for the millions of teens and young adults are searching for a cause to support.
- I think people buy our records because they finally see three guys that are funny and have personalities but play serious songs about things they can relate to... Kids say they can relate to what our songs are about. They feel like we're their friends.
- We really take our music seriously and we take the band very seriously. But we have a lot of personality. So if we're going to write a song about kissing a girl, we're gonna write it. And people think we're a funny band, but we're just realistic, we put our personality into our lyrics.
- In ten years I will become president of the United States Of America.
- You can't turn chicken shit into chicken salad, but you can put chicken shit into someone's chicken salad.
- [right before performing the song "Dammit" in concert] This one goes out to all our fans - to all the punk rock kids who've been into our band. Do you only know us from this one song? Here's news for you, we've been around for almost six years long... and it hurts...
- I'm not gay; everyone thinks I'm gay!
- I'm installing a security system so nosy little kids don't watch me run around my house naked smearing peanut butter all over me.
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