10/10
A movie that is not for idiots. I'll explain why.
22 September 2001
As I read all the negative reviews for 2001: A Space Odyssey (On Amazon. Com), I begin to wonder as to what kind of morons people can be today. In today's society, an acceptable film has to be fast paced and highly entertaining (Just look at the Oscar results of the past five years). They don't have to have a plot or a purpose. But it was the reviewer on Amazon who said he was happy that Stanley Kubrick was dead that really got me mad.

The day that Kubrick died was a dark one for American cinema. Few directors alive today have the guts to try something new and imaginative. It's all sequels to hit movies (American Pie 2, Rush Hour 2, Jurassic Park 3) or remakes of old classics (Planet Of The Apes). 2001 was bold. It was a challenge. It was something new. It defied every set standard of Science Fiction films, from its unconventional narrative to its use of classical music. It showed that you do not need to have lots of dialogue to express ideas or emotions. Images can be just as powerful. And 2001 is unthinkable today without the power and excitement of Thus Spoke Zarathustra or the waltzes of Strauss The Blue Danube. 2001 critics also say that the humans are boring and `By the Book', while HAL the computer is sympathetic and interesting. That was Kubrick's purpose: The mechanizing of the human and the humanization of the machine (Another example would be the two airplanes in the opening of Dr. Strangelove).

I have also read reviews of people who claim the movie is boring and complain that scenes take too long. Without the Dawn of Man ape scenes, would you really know what the hell was going on? It would start suddenly with a ship in space. It would still be, in your words, Lame! The docking scenes take five to ten minutes because that is how long it takes to dock a ship! It is not like in Armageddon or Star Wars where it takes just a second. These men are professional airline (Or spaceline?) pilots who are also carrying a cargo of passengers. They sure are not going to risk their lives just to arrive on time. Things are also slow moving in space because of gravitational forces and because it is a sterile and empty environment.

Other morons also talk about how Boring the Jupiter and Beyond the Infinite scenes are and how pointless they are. The Star Gate Dave Bowman goes through is the Grand Central Station of the aliens (A highway you could say). The room he ends up in is a `Zoo' where extra-terrestrial `Zoo Keepers' study him and the way he acts in his natural habitat. The monolith there changes him from a young adult Bowman to a middle aged Bowman to an old, dying Bowman and finally into the Star Child. It is only boring if you think its boring.

Some morons also don't know what the monoliths are about. In the beginning, the monolith is a teacher to the apes that causes them to evolve into humans. The monolith on the moon is a beacon. It sends a radio message to the extra-terrestrials on Jupiter telling them that the human race has advanced into outer space. The one floating in Jupiter space is the passageway to the Star Gate and I have explained the one in the room. We also never see the extra-terrestrials at all throughout the movie (We can however hear them in the room). Thus we have a greater fear of them because we do not know how they act or what they look like.

My final thought is that if you have a short attention span or if you thought Citizen Kane was worse than Battlefield Earth, you should stick to Star Wars (Though I did like it) and a stupid Bruickheimer/Bay movie for your entertainment. 2001 is certainly one of the greatest movie experiences of all time and also shows that cinema can be one of the most powerful forms of art and can be utilized for other purposes besides showing people getting shot in the head or fornicating. It is also a reminder that Hollywood's future is always better than the real future. Oh how I would love to have my own Space Liner with it's own spacepods, a videophone and a zero gravity toilet.
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