There is no danger whatsoever that there will be at least one good film coming from combined European production facilities in the next centuries. Why? Asterix, a mainly french/german/italian co-production shows the problematic of patchwork-filmmaking. First, the kind of humour that is to be found in Europe, differs strongly from each other. For example, british humour is black and really hard to swallow sometimes, whereas a german kind of humour practically does not exist. (In most cases it has to do with naked men in the cabinet who do not know yet that they are homosexual.) There is some good satire, though, but hard to find. French humour seems to be strongly influenced by heavy ridiculousity and loudness. Irish humour for example is very intelligent and subtle and the situation is in most cases finally understood long afterwards. So, we have many kinds of people to satisfy with one film only. In this case, it did not work out too well: The film that made millions of French flock to the theatres in the last weeks, is only a loud and colorful kid's play with a camera. Second: Every keypoint, every joke is to be felt long before it happens. The acting was mis en scène in a very careless kind of way. There is no guideline. Julius Caesar (my namesake) seems to be out of this world (normally a good actor, as most of the others), Obelix has seen better (and fatter) days (and in 50 b.C., they did not have vaccination scars yet) and his german voice is the same as Bruce Willis' - which always leads to hoping for guns. Tullius Destructivus does not convince as intrigeur (he seems to be too stupid) and Miraculix (the druid) only looks like an angry old man. Third: The story is compiled from at least five books and stays far from satisfying the audience at all times. Many parts are brought in just for the joke (Brutus, for example) and do not fit the expectations at all. Fourth: The digital effects of flying Romans, I am sorry to say so, look - due to the lack of detail and resolution when in flight - like they were made with an Atari ST ten years ago, and the more than cheap morphing effects when people drink the potion can be made by any sausage vendor on his PC with some Goo program. Fifth: The permanent wish of most european directors to add some personality to one's opus is a disregard of these comic books (cultural heritage!) which have given many people good times to remember in their childhood: The adding of the druid's great-grandfather as a person into the existing village population is a rape! (He even has mushrooms growing on his head! Ouch!!) And the most stupid part with the special unicorn's milk-game thing is a second rape! Incredible! This part is completely ripped from the world of Asterix and fits together with it like Indiana Jones would fit into Schindler's List. As it seems, nobody of the production crew or the producers themselves have read Asterix when young! Sixth: Many productions in Europe are promoted with tax money. Nobody in charge of deciding seems to care about the quality of the product or about the differences between the submitted script and the result. This is just not fair! (I know of some good scripts myself that did not get promoted...) In Germany especially, the decisions about a script worth shooting or about whether film school applicants are "talented" and have "it" or not, and the cultural worth of a film (not regarding the box-office aspect, of course) simply are so evidently subjective and in favour of people who want to stay in the country (instead of wandering off to Hollywood) to help re-build the ever-shattered german film identity, that there is a pool of many deeply disappointed yet creative and competent people building up, who just don't want to do grip on some german TV soap. And that, too, is a European problem, that can be seen in this example. Well, to come to an end, here again my sum-up of complaints (I can't use HTML due to a lack of knowledge): -The plot is ridicoulous. It has been cut together from some good stories, which would have made very good films each. -The humourous amplitude remains in very small borders. -The actors do everything in their might to save the film (or so it seems), but cannot prevent ridiculousity to spread. There is a bad guideline for them all. -The persons are not chosen perfectly. I am aware that this nearly is impossible for a film that was a comic. -The effects are pretty disappointing. There is only one basic rule: If you want FX, go to Lucas. And gooing is long forbidden! -Another rule: Don't change a winning team! To introduce new persons into Asterix is like creating "Calvin, Hobbes & Peter, the one-legged seagull". -And far not the last complaint, but the last one here: I want my money back!
Review of Asterix and Obelix vs. Caesar
