I'm not exaggerating, this movie is a complete waste. There is nothing redeeming about it. It is boring, it is pointless, it is unfulfilling. Do you like scary, suspenseful movies? Definitely don't waste your time here. I scare easily. This movie didn't have the slightest hint of a scare (a jolt of loud music here and there doesn't count).
Don't believe me? OK, ask yourself this: why do you want to see this movie?
Is it because you think it sounds like it is a really interesting flick? No, I doubt it. Like me and scores of other people who have been posting theories about the movie prior to its release, you want to see the end. The trailers were a riddle, and you want to go to the movie to see the answer. Now really, is that any way to market a good movie? No. Its a trick to get you to shell out money to find out the ending to a tantalizing clip in a trailer. A cheap trick. It won't work again.
Summary of the movie? Old-fashioned people live in an old-fashioned isolated town. No power, no cars, no nothing, just as it was in, say, 1897.
Nobody leaves the town because nobody goes in the woods where scary things live. Scary things have agreed to leave people alone, as long as people stay out of the woods and leave scary things alone. By the way, throughout the movie they call these scary things "those we do not speak of". But they speak of them (and little else) throughout the whole movie, so that seems ridiculous. Eventually someone gets hurt, and there is a reason to cross the woods to get to a town, because in towns there is medicine.
If I could keep you from going to this movie by giving away a spoiler, I would. But I can't. There is no "spoiler". Its a movie, like any other movie. Yes, it has a plot, a resolution, and an ending, and you don't know these things right now. But it has nothing surprising or shocking. No, there is no twist.
Oh, OK, MAYBE you could call some part of it a twist. But you've already figured it out. Trust me. Try this. You know what's in the trailer. Now, think of the absolute simplest, most-straightforward, uncreative explanation you can imagine. Got it? No, wrong, you are thinking too hard. It isn't that complicated. Release your mind. Still don't have it? OK OK, try this, pretend you are 12 years old. NOW, what would the simplest most obvious ending be? There you go, you got it. Aren't you glad I saved you $10?
Don't believe me? OK, ask yourself this: why do you want to see this movie?
Is it because you think it sounds like it is a really interesting flick? No, I doubt it. Like me and scores of other people who have been posting theories about the movie prior to its release, you want to see the end. The trailers were a riddle, and you want to go to the movie to see the answer. Now really, is that any way to market a good movie? No. Its a trick to get you to shell out money to find out the ending to a tantalizing clip in a trailer. A cheap trick. It won't work again.
Summary of the movie? Old-fashioned people live in an old-fashioned isolated town. No power, no cars, no nothing, just as it was in, say, 1897.
Nobody leaves the town because nobody goes in the woods where scary things live. Scary things have agreed to leave people alone, as long as people stay out of the woods and leave scary things alone. By the way, throughout the movie they call these scary things "those we do not speak of". But they speak of them (and little else) throughout the whole movie, so that seems ridiculous. Eventually someone gets hurt, and there is a reason to cross the woods to get to a town, because in towns there is medicine.
If I could keep you from going to this movie by giving away a spoiler, I would. But I can't. There is no "spoiler". Its a movie, like any other movie. Yes, it has a plot, a resolution, and an ending, and you don't know these things right now. But it has nothing surprising or shocking. No, there is no twist.
Oh, OK, MAYBE you could call some part of it a twist. But you've already figured it out. Trust me. Try this. You know what's in the trailer. Now, think of the absolute simplest, most-straightforward, uncreative explanation you can imagine. Got it? No, wrong, you are thinking too hard. It isn't that complicated. Release your mind. Still don't have it? OK OK, try this, pretend you are 12 years old. NOW, what would the simplest most obvious ending be? There you go, you got it. Aren't you glad I saved you $10?
