This movie was absolutely terrible. The bottom line is that two hours of a deliberately serious score backing forced close-ups of grim faces is mind-numbingly boring and approaches being torture when you pay 1800 yen for a movie ticket and are strapped into a theater seat with obligations to not walk out on your friends.
As KINGDOM OF HEAVEN ticked slowly from second to second, I grew increasingly confused. What's happening in this movie? Orlando Bloom is here, now he's there, now he's on his way elsewhere. Am I supposed to care? I don't know why, but I couldn't' bring myself to being least bit interested in the plot at all. It's as if the movie were intentionally made to be boring. So I sat back in my chair, closed my eyes, and prayed to God that KINGDOM OF HEAVEN would miraculously shift gears and transform into a movie that didn't suck bad.
Such divine salvation failed to appear, and I was left forsaken,eyes-closed in my theater seat trying to block out the drone of this movie's script, praying to a heaven I did not know.
Imagine with me if you can a heavily orchestrated score, something that with strings and brass says "Things are very serious now. I need to make a big decision, and everything is so serious." Now imagine the face of your favorite middle-aged European, say Liam Neeson, looking off-screen and taking a deep sigh, then another for that extra-drama effect. Then he says something distinctly royal, like "Let it written let it be done," turns around with Jedi robe flowing, and walks out of the room.
While this type of scene is effective at times, you can't loop it repeatedly for two, three hours, can you? That's what I thought, but that's exactly what Ridley Scott dishes out in KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. There's too much music, too many minutes wasted on serious faces, and too much chivalry.
Even Jeremy Irons leaves this movie about two-thirds way through. He pleads with Orlando Bloom, "Don't waste any more time, lad. It's a lost cause. If I were you, I'd round up your troops and high foot it out of the kingdom of heaven." I urge you all to follow Irons' lead, except do it early on before suffering another minute of this God forsaken mess.
JY
Jimboduck-dot-com
As KINGDOM OF HEAVEN ticked slowly from second to second, I grew increasingly confused. What's happening in this movie? Orlando Bloom is here, now he's there, now he's on his way elsewhere. Am I supposed to care? I don't know why, but I couldn't' bring myself to being least bit interested in the plot at all. It's as if the movie were intentionally made to be boring. So I sat back in my chair, closed my eyes, and prayed to God that KINGDOM OF HEAVEN would miraculously shift gears and transform into a movie that didn't suck bad.
Such divine salvation failed to appear, and I was left forsaken,eyes-closed in my theater seat trying to block out the drone of this movie's script, praying to a heaven I did not know.
Imagine with me if you can a heavily orchestrated score, something that with strings and brass says "Things are very serious now. I need to make a big decision, and everything is so serious." Now imagine the face of your favorite middle-aged European, say Liam Neeson, looking off-screen and taking a deep sigh, then another for that extra-drama effect. Then he says something distinctly royal, like "Let it written let it be done," turns around with Jedi robe flowing, and walks out of the room.
While this type of scene is effective at times, you can't loop it repeatedly for two, three hours, can you? That's what I thought, but that's exactly what Ridley Scott dishes out in KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. There's too much music, too many minutes wasted on serious faces, and too much chivalry.
Even Jeremy Irons leaves this movie about two-thirds way through. He pleads with Orlando Bloom, "Don't waste any more time, lad. It's a lost cause. If I were you, I'd round up your troops and high foot it out of the kingdom of heaven." I urge you all to follow Irons' lead, except do it early on before suffering another minute of this God forsaken mess.
JY
Jimboduck-dot-com
