I purposely gave the film a "1" to try and bring down the overall score (had it fewer defenders, I'd give it a "3"). It should not be liked by anyone.
Story: Turns out an ancient Korean fairy tale/bed time story is true and manifests itself in the common recreation area of a suburban US condominium/co-op/apartment house/ hotel'whatever, where there's a small swimming pool. (Lafcadio Hern is spinning in his grave because he wasted his time moving to Japan when he could've studied Oriental ghost stories and such right here in the US of A).
Of course, since the swimming pool is in the US, the "lady," some sort of Queen Nymph called a "Narf" is a pale, anorexic Anglo-German American rather than an exotic, regal Asian. She's being chased by nasty beasts called "scrunts", all of whom are somehow governed by giant monkeys called "tartutics."
Yeah, it's just a movie, but I gotta ask how come these beings don't have Korean-sounding names of things like "wolf made of grass" and such? "Scrunt" sounds too much like something an American school kid would call a classmate. "Narf" sounds like a soft ball one can throw indoors.
OK, the Scrunts are compelled to kill the Narf because it's what they do. Apparently there are rules about killing narfs, though. BUT, there's a scrunt out there that's breaking the rules!
Wow! There's a big wolf made of grass that understands rules! You'd think one could communicate with a being that is able to make a decision... Or you'd be able to kill it...
Acting-wise, direction-wise, technically, the film is competent. The actors are real, even M. Night is believable playing himself. The story, though, comes off as though it was written by a ten-year old, NOT as though it was written by an adult for a ten-year old. There are plot holes that distract too much (how can an out-of-shape handyman hold his breath for more than five minutes? - while engaging in strenuous, underwater activity? And seeing so clearly at night? Etc.). The characters come off as though they are trying too hard to make the audience believe that they're ready to believe what's going on - and how eager they are to get us to agree that, gosh, this really is a Narf and not some paranoid schizophrenic asylum escapee...
M. Night: OK, so you've read Arthur Machen's stories and similar tales of dreamland by others. Since you confess through Bob Balaban's character that there's no originality anymore (so?), why don't you make a movie about gnolls or dholes or something that would give you the opportunity for excellence in telling someone else's story? The writers of supernatural stories circa 1900-1940 are far superior to anything new, so use your directing talents to give us a film of "the Hounds of Tindalos"? You can also make a "kids" movie based on any number of excellent fairy tales from long ago, not some neo-modern junk like "the Lady in the Water."
It really cost more than $10 million to make this? No way! Rental cost to me: about $1. Not worth it.
Story: Turns out an ancient Korean fairy tale/bed time story is true and manifests itself in the common recreation area of a suburban US condominium/co-op/apartment house/ hotel'whatever, where there's a small swimming pool. (Lafcadio Hern is spinning in his grave because he wasted his time moving to Japan when he could've studied Oriental ghost stories and such right here in the US of A).
Of course, since the swimming pool is in the US, the "lady," some sort of Queen Nymph called a "Narf" is a pale, anorexic Anglo-German American rather than an exotic, regal Asian. She's being chased by nasty beasts called "scrunts", all of whom are somehow governed by giant monkeys called "tartutics."
Yeah, it's just a movie, but I gotta ask how come these beings don't have Korean-sounding names of things like "wolf made of grass" and such? "Scrunt" sounds too much like something an American school kid would call a classmate. "Narf" sounds like a soft ball one can throw indoors.
OK, the Scrunts are compelled to kill the Narf because it's what they do. Apparently there are rules about killing narfs, though. BUT, there's a scrunt out there that's breaking the rules!
Wow! There's a big wolf made of grass that understands rules! You'd think one could communicate with a being that is able to make a decision... Or you'd be able to kill it...
Acting-wise, direction-wise, technically, the film is competent. The actors are real, even M. Night is believable playing himself. The story, though, comes off as though it was written by a ten-year old, NOT as though it was written by an adult for a ten-year old. There are plot holes that distract too much (how can an out-of-shape handyman hold his breath for more than five minutes? - while engaging in strenuous, underwater activity? And seeing so clearly at night? Etc.). The characters come off as though they are trying too hard to make the audience believe that they're ready to believe what's going on - and how eager they are to get us to agree that, gosh, this really is a Narf and not some paranoid schizophrenic asylum escapee...
M. Night: OK, so you've read Arthur Machen's stories and similar tales of dreamland by others. Since you confess through Bob Balaban's character that there's no originality anymore (so?), why don't you make a movie about gnolls or dholes or something that would give you the opportunity for excellence in telling someone else's story? The writers of supernatural stories circa 1900-1940 are far superior to anything new, so use your directing talents to give us a film of "the Hounds of Tindalos"? You can also make a "kids" movie based on any number of excellent fairy tales from long ago, not some neo-modern junk like "the Lady in the Water."
It really cost more than $10 million to make this? No way! Rental cost to me: about $1. Not worth it.
