Review of Southland Tales

Being a dedicated fan of Richard Kelly's breathtaking Donnie Darko, I was intensely hoping that I'd disagree with all of the negative reviews I'd seen for Southland Tales; I was intensely devastated when I quickly realized the negativity was justified. The over-blown, convoluted plot is nothing short of audience abuse. The story is trite and cliché and utterly boring; and far too pretentious and egotistical. I'm certain if I look hard enough, I'll find reviews labeling it an intelligent film, demanding multiple views and an open-minded audience. But I'd rather bathe in lye than watch this monstrosity of a film ever again. It's not that the film is difficult to understand, in theory, it's all the bullshit that I have to sift through to get to that basic story that's problematic. We have wannabe witty repartee, mostly with sexual connotations and innuendos, oozing with intentions to shock, but really just annoy; bombastic characters with little substance or structure whatsoever; unbelievable story-lines, even in the fantasy setting that is this film; and artificial television news programs that really do nothing for the story but interrupt descent cinematography. Yes, the film does have some decent cinematography, but that's about it. Unless you're into audio and visual masochism, I'd venture as far away from this film as possible.