Review of Bridge to Hell

Some European-produced World War II thrillers are pretty good, but some emerge as altogether so conventional that only a completist would suffer watching them. Predictable but entertaining cheese with few meatballs and a modicum of sauce sums up "Make Them Die Slowly" director Umberto Lenzi's lackluster, low-budget World War II thriller "Bridge to Hell" that was lensed on location in scenic Yugoslavia. The bridges look terrific, the Germans are appropriately villainous, and firefights are inevitable. The standard-issue heroics and the tongue-in-cheek mentality qualifies "Bridge to Hell" as shallow, lightweight actioneer that follows a heroic trio deep into enemy territory. A U.S.A.A.F. pilot, Lt. Bill Rogers (Andy J. Forest of "The Kiss of the Cobra"), a former Italian pilot, Sgt. Mario 'Pazilbo' Espozi (Carlo Mucari of ""Arabella, Black Angel") and an Austrian who has deserted the Wehrmacht, Blinz (Paki Valente of "Abissinia"). constitute this fearless threesome. Indeed, they are heading for the Allied lines when they encounter a platoon of partisans who require their talents. The American and the Italian are persuaded to fly the skies in a couple of vintage, World War I, bi-planes and bomb the Germans the old fashioned way. Yes, they drop the bombs by hand, but one bi-plane is put out of commission. Lieutenant Rodgers flies against 20 German fighters and sets out to bomb a train. This juvenile, war-as-adventure nonsense adds a romantic subplot when the amorous Italian falls for the partisan babe. After the partisans agree that our heroic trio has held up their end of the bargain, the partisan chick escorts them toward Allied lines. Along the way, they loot a monastery of St. Basil's Treasure and demolish a German occupied bridge. During the bullet-riddled bridge scene, the German deserter catches a couple of bullets from his own men in a display of irony. This leaves the American and the Italian. They drop the partisan babe off with her comrades and take off in the Nazi transport truck with a locked box full of treasure. When they open up the box, guess what they find. Lenzi directs "Bridge to Hell" as if it were a Spaghetti western in olive-drab fatigues. The aerial bombardment scene resembles the Korean War epic "The Bridges at Toko-Ri," and most of writer & director Lenzi's narrative recalls "Inglorious Bastards," except the outcome is a lot rosy for the survivors. Characterization is one-dimensional and Lenzi fails to give this World War II film any relevance to the rest of the war. Arguably, the haircuts are archaic. The performances are tolerable, but the dubbing is absolutely atrocious. Happily, Lenzi keeps things clicking through this traditional, 90-minute war epic. This World War II movie is barely memorable.