My Little Pony: The Princess Promenade is without a doubt the greatest film I've ever seen, and it has changed my life forever.
Princess Promenade has raised the bar even higher on what films about ponies can do! The film left me a quivering and exhausted waste of a man. Every brain cell in my head had been worked and reworked into over-time dissecting apart and digesting the multi-layered and daring plot line. My emotions were all spent. All of them. Princess Promenade showed me what a film could do. Joy, loss, love, anger... This movie had it all.
After the film's ultimate climatic conclusion, I was in a completely comatose state. I awoke, emaciated and unable to move, in a puddle of my own waste. The scent off human excrement hung heavy in the air for days, and I was powerless to move or yell for help. But I didn't care. All I was capable of doing was soiling myself and reflecting upon the staggering cinematic masterpiece, which was now stuck on the DVD title screen repeating the film's wonderful main theme on a beautiful and perfect loop, like the flawless circadian rhythm of the ocean's tides.
My upstairs neighbors eventually called plumbers, concerned about a possible sewage leak. The plumbers found me whimpering and writhing on the floor. They contemplating putting me out of my misery with any one of their heavy bludgeoning tools for a few solid hours, before thinking to call an ambulance instead.
It took me a full two weeks to recuperate and gain control of my cognitive functions and remember my name or generally process any thought that wasn't pony-related in nature. It was many months before I was even able to speak again. But when I was finally able to talk once more, all I could say was "wow. What a movie!" My nurse was a little shocked to hear me talk at first, but she smiled warmly and told me I was the seventh patient that year admitted to the hospital as a result of what she affectionately referred to as "The Princess Promenade Syndrome" (or TPP Syndrome for short).
Even though I still haven't regained control of my bowels completely, I have absolutely no regrets. Everyone needs to see the movie. 10 stars.
My only advice would be to play it smart and wear a diaper. Just in case :)
Princess Promenade has raised the bar even higher on what films about ponies can do! The film left me a quivering and exhausted waste of a man. Every brain cell in my head had been worked and reworked into over-time dissecting apart and digesting the multi-layered and daring plot line. My emotions were all spent. All of them. Princess Promenade showed me what a film could do. Joy, loss, love, anger... This movie had it all.
After the film's ultimate climatic conclusion, I was in a completely comatose state. I awoke, emaciated and unable to move, in a puddle of my own waste. The scent off human excrement hung heavy in the air for days, and I was powerless to move or yell for help. But I didn't care. All I was capable of doing was soiling myself and reflecting upon the staggering cinematic masterpiece, which was now stuck on the DVD title screen repeating the film's wonderful main theme on a beautiful and perfect loop, like the flawless circadian rhythm of the ocean's tides.
My upstairs neighbors eventually called plumbers, concerned about a possible sewage leak. The plumbers found me whimpering and writhing on the floor. They contemplating putting me out of my misery with any one of their heavy bludgeoning tools for a few solid hours, before thinking to call an ambulance instead.
It took me a full two weeks to recuperate and gain control of my cognitive functions and remember my name or generally process any thought that wasn't pony-related in nature. It was many months before I was even able to speak again. But when I was finally able to talk once more, all I could say was "wow. What a movie!" My nurse was a little shocked to hear me talk at first, but she smiled warmly and told me I was the seventh patient that year admitted to the hospital as a result of what she affectionately referred to as "The Princess Promenade Syndrome" (or TPP Syndrome for short).
Even though I still haven't regained control of my bowels completely, I have absolutely no regrets. Everyone needs to see the movie. 10 stars.
My only advice would be to play it smart and wear a diaper. Just in case :)
