Tuff Turf (1985)
3/10
Instantly forgettable. Somewhat entertaining premise, executed poorly. A Complete waste of time.
20 March 2016
This movie is boring as hell! The editing is garish and obnoxious, there is not nearly enough action it's mostly just padding, full of pointless scenes and poorly written dialogue scenes that just go nowhere and do absolutely nothing to further the plot. The love story between Frankie and Morgan would be more engaging if these characters weren't so dull and lifeless, and don't even get me started on this "gang" This gang has to be the most pathetic excuse for a street gang that I have ever seen! I mean all they seem to do for a majority of this movie is talk tough and intimidate Morgan yet rarely ever follow through with anything, for at least two thirds of the film! In fact you barley even see anything of them for two thirds of the movie. This was so obviously just intended to be a cynical cash grab and it backfired! There's a reason people seldom remember this stinker because there is nothing even relatively notable about it! It only brought in 9,369,329 that's nothing! Even by 1985's standards that's nothing! It's not hard to see why either, there is nothing of value here! I can guarantee you by the end of this movie it is going to vanish from your consciousnesses entirely and for good reason. There is nothing memorable here at all! I mean I swear I have just sat through an hour and fifty minutes of just pure tedium, pure an utter monotony from start to finish, and you know what else? All of that monotony might have been forgivable if it was just building up to a satisfying climactic battle, but even that ending scene in the warehouse was just dull and bland, totally boring! There is nothing here! It is one of the blandest most sterile films that I have seen in a long time! there was just You want a real high school gang flick, watch Jack Hill's "Switchblade Sisters" it's streaming on Netflix last time I checked, just watch that and spare yourself the disappointment. Or if you plan to watch this just do yourself a favor and lower your expectations. It's sad too, because that opening scene really did make this film look promising, I thought "hey this should be good campy fun!" But nope! And these fight scenes! My god they are so poorly choreographed and half-baked and not even halfway decent! I mean were they even trying to make a good movie? No of course not, as I said it's a cynical cash grab. That sex scene also, wow! That was lame, if a film manages to make sex look boring, then you know something is wrong. This is just a lame movie, that wasted a potentially entertaining premise. I came here looking for a good entertaining schlock-fest not to be put to sleep! It is amazing that James Spader's career wasn't ruined by this film, it is nothing short of a miracle, and don't even get me started on his performance it's like he was drunk through the entire thing and just didn't even care but can you really blame him. God knows that I can't. This movie sucks, period. Enough said.
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