1/10
This what is was like to be tortured by the Spanish Inquisition
13 October 2016
Let us endeavor to conjecture and propose a supposition pertaining to a conundrum I am experiencing after viewing this atrocity. Variable one pertains to a Roger Corman. This is a man with an incredible propensity for the creation of films on a minimal budget and almost ALWAYS a profit on his investment. He truly is the king of exploitation films. This being a remake (probably due to the film being out of copyright date) is of a 1959 movie he made.

So how does one create a movie to begin with on a minimal budget that still exceeds the product created decades later? Could it be an overwhelming plethora of non-talent?

I have a great affinity for actors that do horrible hillbilly stereotypes with Canadian accents. The "Leeches" are hand puppets that can be misconstrued for earthworms on steroids. I did find the "rifle" that was supposed to be a shotgun but was a toy musket seen multiple times. They try to exploit young ladies which has absolutely no impact in sexually gratuity within the film. We get a few scenes of a marsh but the action takes place around a lake, no marsh or swamp. Our hillbillies are supposed to be comical relief while we wait for a meteorite to plummet to earth and obliterate them. The sheriff inhabits room 12 with crap being stored in some building somewhere.

Let us examine one scene in particular. A search party has been gathered to attempt to locate two bodies. Several men follow the sheriff down the shore of a lake, not a marsh. All follow after the sheriff. Would it not behoove them to "Spread out" instead of following him and looking at their feet literally as they walk? One idiot is looking up in the trees where many a body has been known to be discovered. If only the Lockness monster would have interjected itself into the movie and consumed the entire cast, that would have been worth watching.

The Corman version of this movie receives a 3.5 on the IMDb which sounds about right. If you view the MST3K riffing of the Corman movie then it is a 7.0 as this film rates a 1.9 and should be considerably lower.

After viewing this movie I made preparation to invoke the great Cuthulu and the old ones to enter this dimension to rule but they declined because it is too dark and forbidding a place even for them and with absolutely nothing original that can be done in writing, films or art we are all in a pathetic Hell anyway.
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