... and made a "horror" movie, I imagine that it would be very much like this movie; zero scares, terrible special effects, and scenery-chewing, over-the-top, hammy acting. "1, 2, 3... Snore" would be the more appropriate title.
The premise is that we have an intrepid band of film-makers, ostensibly out to film the pilot episode for a paranormal investigations reality television show. During the filming of this pilot, one of the show's co-host is killed when she is knocked through the second story window in a supposedly haunted ranch house. The actress portraying the other host gives a performance worthy of an inflatable love doll with a slow leak.
The crew takes the body of the dead girl back to the lodge where their headquarters has been set up, and it is here that the movie takes a hugely stupid, completely implausible turn. The cameraman tells the others that he had found evidence of mechanical tampering at the ranch house. At this point, the director whips out a stainless steel Beretta 92F 9mm pistol, and brandishes it at the others. They won't spoil his plans for fame and wealth, he exclaims, they won't! He admits to the chicanery uncovered by the cameraman, and tells the others that they're going to do everything that he tells them to. This show has to be a success!
The crew breaks away and flees, prompting the director and his henchman to hunt them down. There is a fight between the cameraman that is almost as believable as a school yard fight between petulant third-graders.
"Cheesy" "corny" and utterly, horribly clicked are the words that might best describe this movie. I would not have all been surprised to see Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby show up in the Mystery Machine at one point.
There are a few problems that the director in the movie didn't seem to find troublesome. Even if he had succeeded in getting the crew to finish the pilot, at gunpoint, didn't he think any of them would go to the authorities afterward? When he is later asked about this, he says that the producers of the show will buy whatever he presents them as part of the show. The fact that all of the potential witnesses were killed wouldn't raise any red flags, apparently. To prove this point, he shoots and kills another one of the cast in front of the cameraman.
To say that the plotholes are both glaring and enormous would be monumental understatements. This movie is a study of the patently ridiculous and the implausible. The cheesiest, corniest, sappiest Lifetime movie ever made would seem Academy Award worthy compared to this turd of a movie.
The premise is that we have an intrepid band of film-makers, ostensibly out to film the pilot episode for a paranormal investigations reality television show. During the filming of this pilot, one of the show's co-host is killed when she is knocked through the second story window in a supposedly haunted ranch house. The actress portraying the other host gives a performance worthy of an inflatable love doll with a slow leak.
The crew takes the body of the dead girl back to the lodge where their headquarters has been set up, and it is here that the movie takes a hugely stupid, completely implausible turn. The cameraman tells the others that he had found evidence of mechanical tampering at the ranch house. At this point, the director whips out a stainless steel Beretta 92F 9mm pistol, and brandishes it at the others. They won't spoil his plans for fame and wealth, he exclaims, they won't! He admits to the chicanery uncovered by the cameraman, and tells the others that they're going to do everything that he tells them to. This show has to be a success!
The crew breaks away and flees, prompting the director and his henchman to hunt them down. There is a fight between the cameraman that is almost as believable as a school yard fight between petulant third-graders.
"Cheesy" "corny" and utterly, horribly clicked are the words that might best describe this movie. I would not have all been surprised to see Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby show up in the Mystery Machine at one point.
There are a few problems that the director in the movie didn't seem to find troublesome. Even if he had succeeded in getting the crew to finish the pilot, at gunpoint, didn't he think any of them would go to the authorities afterward? When he is later asked about this, he says that the producers of the show will buy whatever he presents them as part of the show. The fact that all of the potential witnesses were killed wouldn't raise any red flags, apparently. To prove this point, he shoots and kills another one of the cast in front of the cameraman.
To say that the plotholes are both glaring and enormous would be monumental understatements. This movie is a study of the patently ridiculous and the implausible. The cheesiest, corniest, sappiest Lifetime movie ever made would seem Academy Award worthy compared to this turd of a movie.
