The movie opens with two Army guys, driving a truck that is carrying a secret payload (I wonder what it is?) and cutting back and forth between a Just Married couple (Who is an obvious Gold Digger and Tubby guy with Money). The Army guys talk back and forth about what they could be carrying, throwing out every pop culture reference they can. Because Zack Synder is Smart and Witty. While doing this they hit the car of Newlyweds, Somehow. Their payload shoots of the truck and the car explodes. A few seconds later, the door on the payload opens, because, ya. And the Army guys decide to get close to it, while One of the Two Drivers calls for what to do. Keep in mind, the door is open and whatever is inside is just hanging out, while Army guys point guns inside and stare. As soon as they're told to retreat, a Zombie jumps out and kills them all, within seconds (He was waiting for the suspense music, as we all do). The two Army drivers run for it, but get caught and killed. And now the three of them go to Vegas for a Buffet. Don't worry about what happened to all the other Army guys. The Zombie "Venom" didn't work on them, I guess.
I only described the opening like this to show you the level of incompetence we are dealing with.
Now onto the Opening Credit Montage, Synder is legally required to have in every movie. And b y the end of the opening credits, you're slapped with 110% Snyder. Nothing but stupid and action, also a cliched and not so subtle song choice. Of course.
As soon as the movie opens, Synder goes into high gear with the purely Expositional Character, asking our Main Character to "Come out of retirement for one last job". Then we go into the "Toxic Male" who treats Women like crap. So far, Synder is showing us how great he always is at character development.
Cut to the Synder Nightmare scene in every one of his movies, where more exposition is told for multiple characters at once, insanely sloppy and amateurish. Batista wakes up, it was his nightmare and we get to see him crying like a big scary baby in it. He then makes the call to accept the job, but making sure loudly say "I don't like you!", so we know he's the good guy. Keep up the great work Zack.
Now, It's time to get the team together. And since it's 2021, you know it's full of tiny, but unbelievably tough Women and Badass Minorities. Sometimes both at once. And now it's time to get the eccentric but quirky and lovable safecracker. Yes, That's right. Zack Synder read Filmmaking for Dummies and memorized it cover to cover.
Immediately after, cut to the another terrible, cliched cover song over a montage. Ya, yet one more Montage. Synder can't tell anyone anything about a character without a montage or dream sequence. Well or an expendable expositional character.
Now that the team is assembled, time to get everyone in a room and tell everyone the plan and reason it's hard to get in, but easy to get out.
Now, Keep in mind, except for there being Zombies, this could honestly being one of any 10 different movies, beat for beat. The fact this came out on Netflix and was made by Zack Synder mean that this movie could never have been good. But, This is even beyond any level of terrible and blatantly unoriginal that we come to except from BOTH Zack Synder and NetFlix. It's only been 34 minutes of two and a half hours and I think this movie was made on a bet. Because, can even Zack Synder be this oblivious and delusional to his complete lack of talent?
By the 40 minute mark and the "I'm Head of Security and I'm going with you. Whether you like it or not" Character, that this movie wasn't complete without. Oh, and also the "I was terrible Father and I'm getting this money for you. But I need your help" scene. I'm out. This movie is just everything we all knew about Zack Synder since 300, He can ONLY direct action scenes.
Now i'm just skipping through the rest, hoping to be entertained by Zombie Carnage. Because I need to be entertained by something in this overlong mess.
I hope this helped you decide not to watch this movie and just stare at a wall for two and half hours.
I only described the opening like this to show you the level of incompetence we are dealing with.
Now onto the Opening Credit Montage, Synder is legally required to have in every movie. And b y the end of the opening credits, you're slapped with 110% Snyder. Nothing but stupid and action, also a cliched and not so subtle song choice. Of course.
As soon as the movie opens, Synder goes into high gear with the purely Expositional Character, asking our Main Character to "Come out of retirement for one last job". Then we go into the "Toxic Male" who treats Women like crap. So far, Synder is showing us how great he always is at character development.
Cut to the Synder Nightmare scene in every one of his movies, where more exposition is told for multiple characters at once, insanely sloppy and amateurish. Batista wakes up, it was his nightmare and we get to see him crying like a big scary baby in it. He then makes the call to accept the job, but making sure loudly say "I don't like you!", so we know he's the good guy. Keep up the great work Zack.
Now, It's time to get the team together. And since it's 2021, you know it's full of tiny, but unbelievably tough Women and Badass Minorities. Sometimes both at once. And now it's time to get the eccentric but quirky and lovable safecracker. Yes, That's right. Zack Synder read Filmmaking for Dummies and memorized it cover to cover.
Immediately after, cut to the another terrible, cliched cover song over a montage. Ya, yet one more Montage. Synder can't tell anyone anything about a character without a montage or dream sequence. Well or an expendable expositional character.
Now that the team is assembled, time to get everyone in a room and tell everyone the plan and reason it's hard to get in, but easy to get out.
Now, Keep in mind, except for there being Zombies, this could honestly being one of any 10 different movies, beat for beat. The fact this came out on Netflix and was made by Zack Synder mean that this movie could never have been good. But, This is even beyond any level of terrible and blatantly unoriginal that we come to except from BOTH Zack Synder and NetFlix. It's only been 34 minutes of two and a half hours and I think this movie was made on a bet. Because, can even Zack Synder be this oblivious and delusional to his complete lack of talent?
By the 40 minute mark and the "I'm Head of Security and I'm going with you. Whether you like it or not" Character, that this movie wasn't complete without. Oh, and also the "I was terrible Father and I'm getting this money for you. But I need your help" scene. I'm out. This movie is just everything we all knew about Zack Synder since 300, He can ONLY direct action scenes.
Now i'm just skipping through the rest, hoping to be entertained by Zombie Carnage. Because I need to be entertained by something in this overlong mess.
I hope this helped you decide not to watch this movie and just stare at a wall for two and half hours.
