Aussie Gold Hunters (2016– )
2/10
Australia, what happened?
9 October 2021
I grew up with an idea of Australia as an unwelcoming and dangerous but eternally sunny place, inhabited by people that always see the funny side of life. Undoubtedly, the cultural exports such as "Land Down Under" by Men At Work, the "Crocodile Dundee" franchise, Stewe Irwine and the sharks at Bondi beach contributed greatly to that idea. I never once thought it could be a depressing place. And it obviously is. The current events unfolding around the pandemic and the tyrannical course the Australian government took towards the citizens brought this new notion about with vengeance. But hints were there earlier, in the shape of two reality shows. One of them is the "Aussie Salvage Squad". Another one being this one. They seem like they've been made by the same production.

It starts out promisingly. The series follows several real life teams from all over the continent, at places where there's a chance to find golden nuggets in endless dirt. The teams range from amateurs, with nothing but a license and a couple of metal detectors, to organised professional crews equipped with seriously heavy gold-digging machinery. The first two episodes, whichever you pick to watch first, are fine. The scenery is gorgeous, the people are working hard, there are some shiny, sparkling results on the measuring scale...

...then it all goes down the drain. You realise they never find anything substantially big. There are infightings, there are problems with poachers, the machinery breaks down constantly, there are flies, there are runnings out of supplies, the weather changes abruptly and obstructs the works. You realise that none of the characters are very likeable, so their plight is not very relatable. To boot, they're constantly moaning and whining about every little thing. Some of that is probably scripted, to make for some suspense, but most of that is probably real. I mean, what could they do when they don't find anything but whine? Several of the characters have obvious drinking problems, even though they don't drink on camera. It's an unpleasant sight. One of them is gravely ill, yet he is there, toiling, "sacrificing" for his son-in-law who is also a partner. The said son-in-law soon becomes just a partner, because his marriage falls apart due to never being home and putting bread on the table. Another one keeps being quite rude to his wife, on-camera, and she just keeps putting up with it with a desperate smile. Long story short, you soon find out a lot of unwanted info about the characters and very little about finding and excavating actual gold. You find out that they're more miserable than yourself.

I was wondering why the substantially succesful crews aren't being covered, surely they exist around, but then I realised that if you're successful in the gold mining industry you wouldn't want cameras around you. You'd prefer anonimity.

I guess you could be doing one of the most interesting and rewarding jobs out there, surrounded by beautiful scenery and still be miserable. It's all natural, we're all humans. Even the Aussies. But I don't have to watch that. I'll check up on the new season, though, to see if the attitude has changed some. Because it's better to be there in the outback and finding nothing, than to be at home in Sidney and finding yourself locked up by fascists.
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