How did people win child custody in the 1980s? Over the Top demonstrates this for us. Are you taking notes?
If you follow these easy steps everything will work out in the end and you will surely get your child back. Any reasonable 80s judge will deem you a quality parent. Man, I miss the 80s.
- Don't contact your child in over ten years (except by letter, and don't make sure the child reads them)
- Don't ever give a reason for why you left your child for ten years. Just claim that you made a mistake.
- Only show up for your child if your ex is on the deathbed.
- Force your child to arm-wrestle a random kid at a truck stop.
- Do not provide a stable place to live because a truck will do just fine.
- Disregard any book education and go right for the street smarts.
- Prove you are smart by making your kid drive down the highway in a semi-truck without any prior practice.
- When you get mad that things don't go your way, use your truck to destroy lots of private property to try to get your kid back.
- go to jail.
- Sign your child custody away in a deal, then ignore the contract later.
- Bet away all your money in a all-or-nothing venture.
- Let your kid run around the city wildly, stealing cars, boarding planes, running past airport security, taking taxis in Las Vegas, etc.
If you follow these easy steps everything will work out in the end and you will surely get your child back. Any reasonable 80s judge will deem you a quality parent. Man, I miss the 80s.
