YALL KNOW I'M RIGHT ON THIS.
I'm aware why we tuned in the first time. No, it wasn't the Oscar worthy performances, the breathtaking photography, the gorgeous music score, the thrilling plot or the spectacular and innovative direction.
IT WAS THE SMASHING YOU CAME FOR. It was semi better last time and that kept you wanting more. Yet, this time it's miserably underwhelming and dull. The joke's on us.
If the previous movie overdid it with the soundtrack, this one takes it to another level of obnoxious. This sequel is one big music video with random, unexciting, poorly edited sex scenes stitched together in between bizarre frolicking montages that serve no purpose other than stretch out the screen time due to the lack of actual storytelling. They outdid themselves by making the sequel even less of a movie than the first one. Congrats!
There's no build-up, no sensuality, no decent choreography, just the two leads humping ungraciously in several locations with horrible, wordy reggeaton music in the background by unknown artists because they spent all their budget on drones and couldn't afford famous people on the OST. 24 songs every 4 minutes, people. 24 songs! Seems like someone from the editing team wanted to include their favourite Spotify party playlist at all cost.
The no plot of this sequel is Laura being moody just 3 days after her wedding because her mob boss husband/ kidnapper has "work things to do", despite having all the time in the world for endless bang sessions in his musty dungeon.
Laura behaves like another Mary Sue, being mad at her husband for cheating on her of course, not because he kidnapped, drugged, cut her off from her family , threatened and sexually assaulted her at any given chance. We're over the kidnapping in this movie, there are bigger issues here and nope, none of that has anything to do with Massimo's dirty ways and complete disregard of autonomy and consent. This franchise does not understand what these things are. If they did there we could have had some storyline. It's actually insulting to DV victims how the immensely abusive nature of this relationship gets downplayed. Yikes.
Laura has wet dreams about the gardener/ rival gangster now, who cares about any conflict or character development? She's there to get passed around like a plaything , having zero agency and being controlled by anyone with a penis and a gun. Your body, your choice, our asses!
Oh, look, we get to see Laura naked a lot again, straight female demographic that this saga is appealing to, i hope you're happy!!!
Miki is as hot as ever yet we don't see much of his naked glory and he can't act to save his life either. It's a lose lose situation.
The garbage plot is so ridiculous that average Telemundo productions could have a chance at an Emmy award. I lost it at the contrived twin brother drama storyline, seriously, did a toddler come up with this nonsense? It's not only riddled with plotholes but it's also pure unintentional comedy.
Michelle Morrone's hilarious interpretation as the scorned, coked out brother provided some needed entertainment in what seems the biggest trash Netflix has put out yet and there's more to come.
And if you are a fan of this series getting heated by this review , are you honestly satisfied with lukewarm sex scenes with Youtube pop music and ridiculous tiger roar sound effects? I've seen porn films with much better direction, execution and acting. Let's not lie to ourselves here; it's hot trash and one good looking guy cannot save this.
If they can't deliver semi decent sex scenes what else is there for viewers to anticipate? Laura's deadpan expression and her ability to get kidnapped by any guy she finds attractive? Massimo's cringeworthy tongue flicking and his babygorl phrase? The materialism overload in each scene? The toxic, creepy cues in every dialogue?
This reads more like a soft porn parody than a 50 shades knock-off that gets progressively worse with each installment. Can't wait to see what pile of yesterday's sewage part 3 is gonna turn out to be!
I'm aware why we tuned in the first time. No, it wasn't the Oscar worthy performances, the breathtaking photography, the gorgeous music score, the thrilling plot or the spectacular and innovative direction.
IT WAS THE SMASHING YOU CAME FOR. It was semi better last time and that kept you wanting more. Yet, this time it's miserably underwhelming and dull. The joke's on us.
If the previous movie overdid it with the soundtrack, this one takes it to another level of obnoxious. This sequel is one big music video with random, unexciting, poorly edited sex scenes stitched together in between bizarre frolicking montages that serve no purpose other than stretch out the screen time due to the lack of actual storytelling. They outdid themselves by making the sequel even less of a movie than the first one. Congrats!
There's no build-up, no sensuality, no decent choreography, just the two leads humping ungraciously in several locations with horrible, wordy reggeaton music in the background by unknown artists because they spent all their budget on drones and couldn't afford famous people on the OST. 24 songs every 4 minutes, people. 24 songs! Seems like someone from the editing team wanted to include their favourite Spotify party playlist at all cost.
The no plot of this sequel is Laura being moody just 3 days after her wedding because her mob boss husband/ kidnapper has "work things to do", despite having all the time in the world for endless bang sessions in his musty dungeon.
Laura behaves like another Mary Sue, being mad at her husband for cheating on her of course, not because he kidnapped, drugged, cut her off from her family , threatened and sexually assaulted her at any given chance. We're over the kidnapping in this movie, there are bigger issues here and nope, none of that has anything to do with Massimo's dirty ways and complete disregard of autonomy and consent. This franchise does not understand what these things are. If they did there we could have had some storyline. It's actually insulting to DV victims how the immensely abusive nature of this relationship gets downplayed. Yikes.
Laura has wet dreams about the gardener/ rival gangster now, who cares about any conflict or character development? She's there to get passed around like a plaything , having zero agency and being controlled by anyone with a penis and a gun. Your body, your choice, our asses!
Oh, look, we get to see Laura naked a lot again, straight female demographic that this saga is appealing to, i hope you're happy!!!
Miki is as hot as ever yet we don't see much of his naked glory and he can't act to save his life either. It's a lose lose situation.
The garbage plot is so ridiculous that average Telemundo productions could have a chance at an Emmy award. I lost it at the contrived twin brother drama storyline, seriously, did a toddler come up with this nonsense? It's not only riddled with plotholes but it's also pure unintentional comedy.
Michelle Morrone's hilarious interpretation as the scorned, coked out brother provided some needed entertainment in what seems the biggest trash Netflix has put out yet and there's more to come.
And if you are a fan of this series getting heated by this review , are you honestly satisfied with lukewarm sex scenes with Youtube pop music and ridiculous tiger roar sound effects? I've seen porn films with much better direction, execution and acting. Let's not lie to ourselves here; it's hot trash and one good looking guy cannot save this.
If they can't deliver semi decent sex scenes what else is there for viewers to anticipate? Laura's deadpan expression and her ability to get kidnapped by any guy she finds attractive? Massimo's cringeworthy tongue flicking and his babygorl phrase? The materialism overload in each scene? The toxic, creepy cues in every dialogue?
This reads more like a soft porn parody than a 50 shades knock-off that gets progressively worse with each installment. Can't wait to see what pile of yesterday's sewage part 3 is gonna turn out to be!
