3/10
Junk Food of a Movie
10 May 2022
I am pretty stunned that this movie is as popular as it is. It's basically a contrived gimmick to pull together the characters from past Spidey incarnations and crack a lot of jokes.

I have never been a fan of Tom Holland's take on Spiderman as a good hearted teen-ager being overly deferential to every adult he deals with. It's a one-note performance and from the start it's been contrived and unconvincing. Andrew Garfield relied on looking at the ground and foot-shuffling when he was trying to portray Spiderman. Holland just calls everyone 'Sir' all the time.

So...in a stupid corny contrived scene, Spiderman can't shut up long enough to allow Dr. Strange to cast a spell and everything is set in motion. Dimensional reality is breached and the other Spider Men from other Universes wind up in the new Spider Man's reality. So do all the old baddies from the old movies. Doc Occ/Goblin/SandMan/Electro/Lizard Man. So the three Spideys + Zendaya and her giant nose and Spider's Nerd Pal join together to correct the histories of multiple universes and they succeed but at a huge cost.

There is a ton of 'jokey' humour in this junk food burger that doesn't work. There are standard Marvel CGI effects. There are a strangely bunch of complacent half-hearted no motivation baddies.

The whole thing is horribly contrived, doesn't make sense, the characters don't act in sensible fashion, and our Hero is left with nothing but his super-hero identity....which we are left with the idea that that is all he needs because it is his destiny.

Plot wise this movie was as bad as The Eternals. It is basically a movie for kids I guess. Fundamentally it was simple, stupid, contrived. Like a Big Mac, it filled you up, left you sluggish and wishing you had eaten something of better quality.
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