Suburban Sasquatch (2004 Video)
8/10
Embrace the Squatch
9 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Most bigfeet, bigfoots, skunk apes and otherwise hominoid cryptids tend to stay in the woods or far away from the eyes of man. Yet in Dave Wascavage's $550 wonder Suburban Sasquatch, the creature has no issues in attacking human beings right in the small bedroom communities where they believe that they're safe.

A lot of folks through the word auteur around like it means only doing one or two things on your movie. Dave earned this distinction by being the director, writer, editor, producer, cinematographer, composer, art, video effects, costume, sound, firearms, the voice of the sasquatch and playing the following roles: Dave the Fisherman, Hunter Victim 2, Waiter, Guest and, of course, the Suburban Sasquatch itself.

He's also smart. Most of the budget went to the food for the wrap party.

Wascavage also knows how to talk about his movies, saying that this "...is a movie about famil, A statement about life as humanity presses onward into nature. The creature is a mystical creature seeking to change humanity."

So many lives are touched by the madness that is the creature. Rick Harlan (Bill Ushler) is a directionless man who sleeps on the box springs and a mattress with no need for a bed frame. He may dream of being an investigative reporter beyond just covering local community events, but even his best friends tell him that his dreams are, frankly, stupid.

John Rush (Dave Bovavita) is a cop who moved to town after losing his wife in a sasquatch attack, thinking that the suburbs would be a place to rest and heal. He's wrong.

Talla (Sue Lynn Sanchez) is a Native American warrior who must fulfill the destiny of her family and hunt the beast as her ancestors have done since before we even measured time. She's also where most of the film's budget went, as Dave took Sanchez to a mall and found sound boots and fringed clothing that said "Native American warrior."

As for the sasquatch itself - played by Bonavita, Juan Fernandez, Wes Miller and, as we said before, Wascavage who also created the beast's distinctive vocalization by growling into a microphone, dropping the pitch and deciding that after three minutes, he had achieved perfection.

Perhaps the most charming thing is that this movie was a family affair, as Wascavage wrote it with his wife Mary, who also has that auteur gene, as she was also the caterer, screenplay editor, assistant propmaster and wrote the songs "Trust In Thee" and "Collision Force," performing the latter. Dave's mom Loretta also appears as Rick's mom - owning every moment she's on screen with lines like "And remember, I don't like you. I love you." - and his father and brother are also in the cast.

There are real estate women devouring hot dogs, a child being menaced by a bigfoot and then watching their mother get eviscerated, said bigfoot launching a cop car into the air in a feat of low grade CGI mayhem, bloody human limbs being used as weapons and a black garbage bag crafted lair filled with body parts that reminds me of the best parts of Don't Go Into the Woods. Actually, that movie feels like the absent father of this film, drunkenly calling it on its birthday and awkwardly explaining why it can't come to its birthday party.

Also: the sasquatch can teleport.

The best shot on video bigfoot movie ever made in West Chester, PA - home of CKY, some of the Jackass crew, Matisyahu, Amy Steel from Friday the 13th Part 2 and Anna Jarvis, the founder of Mother's Day - this is a movie with a heart - a bloody and gore-covered one - that makes it so much better than it has any right to be. For all the famous directors that bemoan what is and what is not cinema, they could do more for the art form by picking up a camera and finding a bigfoot suit with some prominent titties.
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