Review of 39 Stripes

39 Stripes (1979)
2/10
Not even prison is this bad
18 November 2023
A mostly dreadful piece of Christian propaganda put out by Ron Ormond towards the end of his career. This features all of the slow, dreary, and preachy portions his Christian movies were known for and none of the fun stuff that made his more psychotronic classics (Grim Reaper, The Burning Hell, If Footmen Tire You, The Second Coming) not only tolerable but enjoyable. We get flashes of the Ormond's more enjoyable output but is never as graphic, silly, or hilariously inept as any of the aforementioned entries. I'm not sure who exactly would like this as none of the characters seem like they'd be compelling for most audiences. Steer clear unless you are on some sort of Ormond completionist journey.
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