Love Happy (1949)
Chico Marx: Faustino the Great
Quotes
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Faustino the Great : How long you study music?
Mr. Lyons : Fifteen years.
Faustino the Great : Fifteen. You know, two more years you could've been a plumber?
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Faustino the Great : Nevermind the pianissimo. I'm gonna make it-a very simple for you: we play it allegro pizzicato. That's what-a you call 'em, high-class Carnegie Hall stuff. You know allegro pizzicato?
Mr. Lyons : No.
Faustino the Great : You know Jimmy Pizzicato?
Mr. Lyons : No.
Faustino the Great : None of the Pizzicatos, uh?
Mr. Lyons : No.
Faustino the Great : What DO you know?
Mr. Lyons : I know pistachio.
Faustino the Great : Pistachio? Ha! We play it!
[shrugs]
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Faustino the Great : Ice-a cream. Tootsie-fruitsie ice-a cream.
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Faustino the Great : Look-a, Mr. Lyons, I know you wanna make a good impression, but-a please - don't play better than me.
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[Faustino, wanting to audition for Mike's show of "unknowns," promotes himself as a mind-reader]
Faustino the Great : I no like-a to brag, but the thing I'm-a most unknown for is-a mind-reading. I give you demonstration. You're thinking of something.
Mike Johnson : [dubiously] Right, so far.
Faustino the Great : You're thinking of a nice juicy steak with a French-a fried-a potatoes.
Mike Johnson : [far less than impressed] The exit's over there.
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Mr. Lyons : Are you a friend of Mr. Yorkman?
Faustino the Great : [crossing fingers before him] Friend? Ha. Max and I are just-a like that - two heads on the same neck.
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Faustino the Great : I'm going to cover you with the sardines. That's-a how much I love you. Watch-a my smoke!
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Faustino the Great : [Mr. Lyons plays a fancy trill on the violin] Look, Mista Lyons, I know you wanna make a good impression, but please - don't play better than me!