- Rubinia: Well, if you must know, this man is obsessed with marrying a virgin.
- Mario Balato, the Servant: O well, you didn't tell me this. So what's he doin' with you two whores?
- Count Dracula: If you really were clever, Anton, you would bring me a virgin from Italy and I wouldn't have to go.
- Count Dracula: Why did you take me on this hopeless... journey? let me go home and die in peace! what good is it to have tea when I can't find the right vegetable to go with it? I guess I have to eat the rest of the romanian lettuce... with lemon. Ze oil! Zey put zo much oil here on EVERYting! But there must be some cheese?
- Mario Balato, the Servant: I don't see why someone like me couldn't marry you, or one of your sisters.
- Rubinia: Are you crazy?
- Mario Balato, the Servant: Yeah... your mother'd never hear of such a thing. Had a good look at him in that wheelchair, almost about to die. That's the way it is with all that rich trash. They're all sick and rotten. The only future's in socialism.
- Rubinia: Don't start talking about that again! You know how it bores me.
- Anton, the Count's Servant: Things look promising.
- Count Dracula: O, you think so? I have no coffin to sleep in, the kitchen is full with impure meat, we've been travelling for days... No progress!