Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
Kristy Swanson: Buffy
Photos
Quotes
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Buffy : All I want to do is graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, and die. Now it may not sound too great to a sconehead like you, but I think it's swell. And you come along and tell me I'm a member of the hairy mole club so you can *throw* things at me?
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Buffy : Great. My secret weapon is PMS. That's just terrific. Thanks for telling me.
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Buffy : Does the word "duh" mean anything to you?
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Buffy : Pike isn't a name, it's a fish.
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Buffy : [to weird stranger Merrick] Does Elvis talk to you? Does he tell you to do things? Do you see spots?
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Buffy : I can't believe I'm doing this. I can't believe I'm in a graveyard with a strange man hunting for vampires on a *school night*.
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Buffy : Merrick, you made a joke. Are you okay? Do you want to lie down? I know it hurts the first time
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Buffy : [to the weird stranger who tries to get into the elevator] Excuse much! Rude or anything?
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Kimberly : Buffy? What's your sitch? You're acting like the thing from another tax bracket. It's too weird.
Buffy : Listen, a lot's been going on you guys, okay? And I really wanted to talk to you guys about it. See, um, a couple of weeks ago, I met this guy-...
Kimberly : Oh my god, you're having an affair?
Nicole : Cool!
Jennifer : Does Jeffrey know?
Buffy : It's not about that. He's, like, old. He's fifty.
Kimberly , Nicole , Jennifer : Ewwwww!
Jennifer : Gross!
Buffy : Haven't you guys noticed what's been going on here? The strange things? Have you noticed people disappearing, turning up dead?
Nicole : What are you talking about?
Kimberly : Weird? You mean like hanging around with that homeless Poke?
Buffy : Pike.
Nicole : [gasp] Eww, you're having an affair with him?
Jennifer : He doesn't look fifty.
Buffy : Guys, I think reality stepped out of here about five minutes ago.
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Buffy : [Merrick has taken Buffy to the graveyard] D'you have any gum?
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Buffy : Three weeks ago, all I thought about was... well I didn't actually think about anything.
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Buffy : [Trying to come up with an issues-related theme for their school dance] The environment.
Nicole : The homelesses?
Kimberly : [to Nicole] Oh, please.
Jennifer : Are there any good sicknesses that aren't too depressing?
Buffy : Guys. The environment. I'm telling you, it's totally key. The earth is in terrible shape, we could all die, and besides, Sting's doing it.
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Merrick : And you're going to be able to use that to track them.
Buffy : Great. My secret weapon is PMS. That's just terrific. Thanks for telling me.
Merrick : It's not a weapon. It's an alert system.
Buffy : Well, aren't we kung fu? I don't see you out there killing any vampires.
Merrick : I play my part.
Buffy : You can play with your part all you want, but it's my neck on the block.
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Buffy's Mom : Bye-bye, Bobby!
Jeffrey : Bye!
[to Buffy:]
Jeffrey : She thinks my name is Bobby?
Buffy : It's possible she thinks *my* name's Bobby.
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Buffy's Mom : [Buffy walks in late] Do you know what time it is?
Buffy : Uh... around ten?
Buffy's Mom : [looks at her watch] I *knew* this thing was slow. You pay a fortune for something...
[shouts to Buffy's father]
Buffy's Mom : Honey, come on, we're gonna be late!
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Buffy's Dad : Okay, honey, be good.
[kisses Buffy]
Buffy's Dad : And stay away from the Jag!
Buffy : Goodbye.
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Buffy : It's a stupid dance with stupid people I see every stupid day!
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Buffy : [had a bad day at school] Excuse me for not knowing about El Salvador. Like I'm *ever* going to Spain, anyway.
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Buffy : [Merrick's followed her into the girls' locker room] What are you doing here? This is a naked place!