- Andre Linoge: [after Mike accuses him of seeing only the bad] The good is an illusion. Little fables folks tell themselves so they can get through their days without screaming too much.
- TV Reporter: What really happened in Roanoke in 1587? And what happened here on Little Tall Island in 1989? We may never know. But I know one thing, Davey, you're too damn short to play basketball.
- Sonny Brautigan: Why is this happening to us? You're the lead reader for the Reverend Riggins down at the Methodist church. You always got a quote from the Good Book, Andy! You must have some idea why this is happening!
- Mike Anderson: Ya remember the story about Job, in the Bible?
- Sonny Brautigan: Uh huh.
- Mike Anderson: Well, there's part of that story that's never been written down. After the contest for Job's soul was over and God wins, Job falls to his knees and says, "God, why have you done this to me? All my life I worshipped you and you destroyed my livestock, you blighted my crops, you KILLED my wife AND my children, you gave me a hundred horrible diseases... and all because you had a bet going with the Devil? Well, okay, but all I want to know Lord, is... all your humble servant wants to know is... WHY ME? Job waits... and just as he's convinced that God isn't gonna answer him, a thunderhead forms in the sky. Lightning flashes and a voice calls down... "Job... I guess there's just something about you that pisses me off!"
- Andre Linoge: [repeated line, singing] I'm a little teapot, short and stout / here is my handle, here is my spout / when I get all steamed up, hear me shout / "Just tip me over and pour me out!"
- Martha Clarendon: [Linoge rings Mrs. Clarendon's doorbell. She comes walking down the hall very slowly] Oh, hold on. I'm getting there as fast as I can. I broke my hip last summer, and I'm still as slow as cold molassas.
- [she opens the door. Linoge stands in the shadow on the porch]
- Martha Clarendon: Can I help you?
- Andre Linoge: Born in lust, turn to dust...
- Martha Clarendon: I beg your pardon?
- Andre Linoge: Born in sin, come on in...
- [grabs her walker, flings it out into the yard, then kills her with his wolf cane]
- [Pippa has her head stuck in the stairs]
- Mike Anderson: What happened darlin'?
- Pippa Hatcher: It was easy getting out, but now I can't get back in. I think my head must be bigger on this side.
- Andre Linoge: Before he gets too self-righteous, Katrina, ask him how well he knows Jenna Freeman.
- Kirk Freeman: What do you know about my sister?
- Andre Linoge: That horses aren't all she enjoys riding when the weather's hot.
- Mike Anderson: Pushers get pushed. It's a sad fact of life, but that's how it is. Pushers get pushed.