The Even Stevens Movie (2003 TV Movie)
A.J. Trauth: Alan Twitty
Quotes
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Twitty : Tom?
Tom Gribalski : Ahoy, mateys! What brings you landlubbers down to the salty brine?
Twitty : Speak English, please?
Tom Gribalski : Oh, excuse me... Whass'up...?
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Twitty : Okay, I'll tell you guys again: I've never met the Stevens family, okay? My name is Lawrence Honeytoast, I'm a marine biologist, and I'm here on top-secret government business.
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Tom Gribalski : The technology is amazing.
Twitty : It's your masterpiece!
Tawny Dean : Are you really gonna sit in this thing all summer?
Louis : Hold on, hold on! Don't call her a "thing!" She's my ultra-loungematic superchair.
[push a button so that an arm gives him a soda. He drinks of it]
Twitty : Sweet!
Louis : [belches] Watch this, watch this.
[pushing down another button so the machine quivers and gives him massage]
Louis : Like a thousand tiny fingers working all the right parts.
Tawny Dean : You've brought laziness to an art form.
[Louis pushes another button]
The Ultra-Loungematic Superchair : Thank-you. Taw-ny.
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[Tom was singing "Blow the Man Down"]
Twitty : Tom! TOM! It's getting dark, and I'm getting seasick so I want a little less singing, and little more sailing, OKAY?
Tom Gribalski : Well, excuse me, Benedict Twitty! If you don't like a good sea shanty, maybe you should take the bus to Cadelona!
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Lance LeBow : You know, we put this prank together in a matter of just a couple of hours thanks to family friends, Alan Twitty and Tawny Dean Now, what prompted you two to call Gotcha with this great prank?
Twitty : Uhh... guilt and shame.
Tawny Dean : Okay, I would like to say that embarrassing innocent people on TV for fun and profit is one of the lowest, disgusting...
[Tawny and cameraman fight over the camera]
Tawny Dean : Gimme that!
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Twitty : Well, it's all our fault...
[Twitty stops guiltily. Tawny stare at him]
Twitty : Uh, all my fault... I set them up.
Tom Gribalski : I'm doubly appalled.
Tawny Dean : You could help us, Tom. And you could help Louis.
Tom Gribalski : Well, Louis is my friend... when it suits him. And I can accept that. What can I do?
Twitty : Can you sail this tub to Catalona?
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Miles McDermott : This is gonna be sweet!
Twitty : I'll show you sweet.