The Matador (2005)
Pierce Brosnan: Julian Noble
Photos
Quotes
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Julian Noble : Sorry about the cock thing, it's kind of a conversation stopper.
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Julian Noble : [after flirting with some Mexican schoolgirls] I hate these Catholic countries. All blushy-blushy no sucky-fucky.
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Julian Noble : The margaritas always taste better in Mexico.
Danny Wright : They certainly do.
Julian Noble : Margaritas and cock.
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Julian Noble : I'm as serious as an erection problem.
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[trying to convince Danny to help him on a hit]
Julian Noble : Come on! It'll be a good time!
Danny Wright : Oh, so now killing people is a good time?
Julian Noble : ...Can be.
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Julian Noble : I'm a big fan of 'the gotta pee' theory of assassination.
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Julian Noble : I wouldn't do that for all the teenage twat in Thailand.
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Julian Noble : Just consider me the best cocktail party story you ever met.
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Julian Noble : I need a break. There's no retirement home for assassins is there? Archery at four. Riflery at five.
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Julian Noble : Yeah, whatever, goodbye, scoodoodle!
Ten Year Old Boy : See you, would'nt wanna be you.
Julian Noble : Smell ya, shouldn't have to tell ya.
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Danny Wright : [discussing possible escape routes] That door over there, if it weren't locked.
Julian Noble : A Vietnamese girl I once knew had her legs so locked together I couldn't get a whiff of her spring roll. Two drinks, half a quaalude later, I was at an all you can eat buffet. Every lock can be broken. It's just a matter of will and whether it's worth it.
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Julian Noble : I look like a Bangkok hooker on a Sunday morning, after the navy's left town.
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Julian Noble : Danny, Danny! Danny with the large white fanny!
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Genevive : Mr. Noble, how are you today?
Julian Noble : More importantly, how are you...
[looks at nametag]
Julian Noble : ...Genevive?
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Julian Noble : An assassin without confidence is a horrible thing to behold. It's like a relief pitcher who fumbles the ball.
Danny Wright : Please tell me you know you mixed two sports in a metaphor.
Julian Noble : Huh? Yeah, I can't do that.
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Julian Noble : I want to retire to a beautiful little Greek island, filled with beautiful little Greeks!
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Julian Noble : I'd only be interested in your mother if she lost 20 pounds and 30 years.
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Julian Noble : My handler, Mr. Randy, contacted me the way he always does, through an ad in the International Tribune looking for cat sitters in Bali.
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Julian Noble : I lie when I need to, tell the truth when I can.
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Bean : Did You bring your gun?
Julian Noble : Yes, as a matter of fact.
Bean : May I see it?
Julian Noble : Really?
Bean : Yes, please.
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Mr. Randy : Did you study the assignment?
Julian Noble : No, I shredded it. Then I humped the bellboy on the room service cart.
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Julian Noble : I didn't mean to weird you out. I was wrong, please. I just get paranoid sometimes. I'm drunk. I'm tired, and I've just been fornicating for the past two hours, and before that I was doing shit - horrible business shit.
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Julian Noble : I'm the relief pitcher in the bottom of the ninth... and I've fumbled the ball.
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Hotel Bartender 1 : How you here for business or pleasure, sir?
Julian Noble : My business is my pleasure.
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Mr. Randy : Goddamn it, Julian, you leave the game, even for a while, I don't know if they'll gonna let you back in. And then what the hell are you gonna do? Waste your days picking up illiterate teenagers for suck-and-fuck sessions behind the Old Navy store?
Julian Noble : Sounds delightful to me.
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Julian Noble : Now, escape routes.
Danny Wright : Escape routes?
Julian Noble : Well you don't want to get caught right?
Danny Wright : Oh, right.
Julian Noble : Don't get caught. It sucks.