The Brendan Leonard Show (2003)
Brendan Leonard: Self
Quotes
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[Michael is about to jump into the pool out of depression, fully dressed]
Michael Carney : I'm gonna jump!
Brendan Leonard : Don't, Michael! Cotton shrinks in water.
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Troy the Accordian player : Is this Heaven?
Brendan Leonard : No, it's the Brendan Leonard Show
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Brendan Leonard : If Christopher Columbus didn't discover America, there probably wouldn't be a Columbus, Ohio.
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Brendan Leonard : Use 'chill' as an adjective, noun, pronoun, and adverb.
Patrick Mohr : You wanna go chill at the chill?
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Brendan Leonard : Chairs set up as bowling pins? A table with wheels on it? Is this Christmas?
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[Brendan is talking about Kevin Carlson]
Brendan Leonard : What he lacked in scholarly activity he made up for in prat-falls.
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Michael Carney : 30% of teens love Rotang, but the other 75% just don't understand him.
Brendan Leonard : So, we're working in terms of 105%?
Michael Carney : I'm not a history major, Brendan.
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Brendan Leonard : My fiends call me B-dawg, B-wax, B-smooth, and Susan.
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Brendan Leonard : If I were you, I'd be embarrassed, too, because then I'd be a pathetic loser.
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Brendan Leonard : The first key to love is the four L's: love, loathing, listening, and lemurs.
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Brendan Leonard : Are you calling me a liar? Are my pants on fire? Is my nose as long as a telephone wire? I don't have time for this!
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Brendan Leonard : Our next film is from Ryan Turner AKA Delicious AKA King of the Summer Feel Good Hit.
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Brendan Leonard : Looks like the toast couldn't take the heat.
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[the cast is in LA]
Brendan Leonard : They can definitely spot someone from around here
Cameraman : Are kids different in California?
Patrick Mohr : Oh, yeah. They are a lot cooler than us. They wear huge shorts and hooded sweatshirts.
Michael Carney : They don't care about rules.
Kevin Sheehan : And they live at the beach all day.
Kevin Carlson : And they're 'dude bros'.
Patrick Mohr : And instead of barbequing brat's on the grill, they barbeque vegetables.
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Patrick Mohr : Brendan, do you want a pizza?
Brendan Leonard : Pizza? But I don't have any dough!
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R.T. : If I can make one Eskimo dance, it's worth it.
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Brendan Leonard : Can I borrow 50 cents?
Kevin Sheehan : Sure. Name the first ten digits of pi.
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Brendan Leonard : Do you hear that?
Bogan : Yeah, it's my heart beating.
Brendan Leonard : No, the music. I think it's an ice cream truck. Do you have two bucks?
Bogan : When have I ever had two bucks?
Brendan Leonard : I don't know. You work for me, don't you?
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[Brendan has decided to be more dramatic; his friends are discussing getting a pizza]
Brendan Leonard : Do you guys ever just think about time and how fast it passes?
Patrick Mohr : Brendan, do you want a pizza or not?
Brendan Leonard : But, you get the pizza and it's not about the food, it's about the camaraderie. Eating the pizza with friends...
Kevin Carlson : I hate you.
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[Brendan, being artistic, did a painting of Kevin]
Kevin Carlson : Why is there a star around your name?
Brendan Leonard : You can read into it however you like.
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Brendan Leonard : [getting sprayed with water playing croquet] In the face of adversity I still got it.
Patrick Mohr : Actually, it's a hose. Some call it adversity, others call it a hose.
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Cameraman : Where does the water come from?
Ryan Turner : It comese from...
Brendan Leonard : A hose
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Brendan Leonard : It's the teen heartthrob, Kevin Carlson. He's the "hott" one. With two t's.
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Brendan Leonard : Let's get rid of Carlson and Carney.
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Brendan Leonard : [during "Eagle Action News"] We're gonna go to our correspondant on the field, Kevin Sheehan.
Kevin Sheehan : Yes, I am in a field. That is why I am a correspondant on the field.