- Melancholia: [explaining the reason for her surprise visit] It's Fred, my intended.
- Morticia Addams: He jilted you.
- Melancholia: Well, I can't really say. He just took back his ring, sold his farm, and joined the Foreign Legion.
- Gomez Addams: That is kind of indefinite.
- Morticia Addams: Lurch, we have a lovely girl for you: sweet, soft, and soulful.
- Gomez Addams: I thought you wanted him for Melancholia.
- Morticia Addams: Darling, I'm talking abut Melancholia.
- Charles P. Harvey: I've got to put something in my car.
- Melancholia: Something in your car? What?
- Charles P. Harvey: Me.
- Morticia Addams: Mama is cooking up a real surprise.
- Gomez Addams: I am so hungry I could eat a wolf.
- Morticia Addams: Gomez, you guessed it!
- Morticia Addams: Nairobi's such a romantic place. Those lovely nights with the hyenas howling. Makes a perfect spot for a honeymoon.
- Charles P. Harvey: You're so right, Mrs. Addams. You really have a good busine... honeymoon! What honeymoon?
- Melancholia: But, dear, you took the ring back.
- Fred: I had to. Your finger was turning green. Here, I brought you a nice brass one.
- Gomez Addams: I wonder who that could be?
- Morticia Addams: May not be a 'who', it may be a 'what'.
- Gomez Addams: You optimist!
- Charles P. Harvey: [Grandmama throws a powder into Harvey's face] What was that?
- Gomez Addams: Love dust. Mama's an incurable romantic.
- Morticia Addams: All she ever thinks about is love, love, love.
- Charles P. Harvey: Well, all I ever think about is business, business, business.
- Gomez Addams: Excellent. A woman needs a good provider.
- Morticia Addams: Especially Melancholia. She's a bit extravagant, I'm afraid. But she's so much in love, she's about to burst.
- Charles P. Harvey: Well, that would solve everything.
- Morticia Addams: Oh Gomez, Mr. Harvey doesn't want to talk about any old oil...
- Charles P. Harvey: But I do, I do!
- Melancholia: Ah! I can't wait to hear him say that to a preacher.
- Morticia Addams: [Gomez hangs up the phone] Any luck?
- Gomez Addams: Seven refusals. Fortunately, three of them were wrong numbers.
- James Ferguson: You're the only lawyer in our office who's had any contact with them.
- Charles P. Harvey: I would rather have contact with a nest of scorpions.
- Gomez Addams: Lurch, a drink for our friend.
- Charles P. Harvey: No, thank you. I-I'm not thirsty.
- Gomez Addams: Nonsense. It's something special. The Vat, '68.
- Morticia Addams: Don't they make a handsome couple?
- Gomez Addams: He's a man; she's a woman: perfect match.