The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)

The Clampetts Strike Oil (1962)

Buddy Ebsen: Jed Clampett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jed Clampett : What do you think, Pearl? You think I oughta move?

  Cousin Pearl Bodine : Jed, how can ya even ask? Look around you. Ya eight miles from your nearest neighbor. You're overrun with skunks, possums, coyotes, bobcats... You use kerosene lamps for light. You cook on a wood stove, summer and winter. You're drinkin' homemade moonshine, washin' with homemade lye soap, and your bathroom is fifty feet from the house -- and you ask should you move?

  Jed Clampett : [ponders all this]  Yeah, I reckon you're right. Man'd be a dang fool to leave all this.

• Daisy Moses : Well, the first thing to do is get her into a dress. She's gettin' too old to be wearin' a man's duds. Lookee here - she done popped the buttons off her shirt again.

  Jed Clampett : Well, Elly May carries herself proud... with her shoulders throwed back.

  Daisy Moses : It ain't her shoulders that's poppin' these buttons.

• Jed Clampett : [remembering the time Granny broke her hip on the ice]  Yeah, poor old woman. She was limpin' fer two days.

• Jed Clampett : I know it don't sound like much, but Mr. Brewster seemed to set great store by the fact he's gonna pay me in some new kind of dollar.

  Cousin Pearl Bodine : There ain't no new kind of dollar!

  Jed Clampett : Well, it's new to me. I've heard of gold dollars, silver dollars, paper dollars, but he said he's gonna pay me in, uh... What'd he call 'em, Granny?

  Granny : Mill'yen dollars.

• Jed Clampett : [while asking about Beverly Hills]  Is Tom Mix there?

  John Brewster : No, I'm afraid Mr. Mix is dead.

  Jed Clampett : Oh? Oh, yeah. Oh, what's the matter with me. Remember, Pearl? He got shot at the end o' that picture.

• Jed Clampett : Jethro, how come there's no ice in Californee.

  Jethro : Don't look at me. I didn't take it!

• Granny : That there fella's from the peetroleum company.

  Jed Clampett : What's a peetroleum?

  Granny : I dunno. He asked me if he could do some wildcattin' down by the slough. I said "He'p yerself, we're glad to get rid of the critters."

• Jed Clampett : Whatcha cookin' tonight, Granny?

  Daisy Moses : Mustard greens and possum innards.

  Jed Clampett : Mmm-mmm. Did you hear that Mr. Brewster?

  John Brewster : Very clearly.

• John Brewster : Well, I think you may have a wrong idea about Beverly Hills.

  Jed Clampett : Is that where you live?

  John Brewster : Uh, no. My home is in Tulsa.

  Jed Clampett : Well, say, maybe you could get us a place there in your neighborhood.

  John Brewster : Mr. Clampett, let's not beat around the bush. You will love Beverly Hills.

• Jed Clampett : Well, come on. Let's find that house we bought.

  Narrator : House they bought? In Beverly Hills? Whoa. Wait a minute. Hold it. How could a bunch of hillbillies possibly buy a mansion like this? Let's take them back to their home and see how the whole thing started.

• Geologist : No, no-no, Mr. Clampett, you see... uh... you're a very rich man!

  Jed Clampett : How big a rock did you bean him with?

  Elly May Clampett : No bigger than a hedge apple.

• Jed Clampett : They ain't got no snow out there. You could run your still the year 'round.

  Daisy Moses : Run it the year 'round here.

  Jed Clampett : Yeah, but walkin' down through the snow to the still always makes you feel so miserable.

  Daisy Moses : I might feel miserable walkin' down, but the way I feels comin' back makes up fer it.

• Daisy Moses : [arriving in Beverly Hills]  They call them hills? Why we got moles that can push up higher ridges than that.

  Jed Clampett : Well leastways they's hills. We'll be among our kind of folks.

• John Brewster : Oh, Mr. Clampett, with your money you can afford the Maj Mahal.

  Jed Clampett : Okay, I'll take it.

  John Brewster : Well, no. You see, I-I was just making a little joke.

  Jed Clampett : Oh. Well, uh, go right ahead.

  John Brewster : Well you see, uh, the Taj Mahal is in India.

  [laughs nervously] 

  John Brewster : [Jed and Pearl glance at each other] 

  Jed Clampett : Mr. Brewster, you're a nice fella but... I've heard better jokes.

• Daisy Moses : Jed, you gotta do somethin' about that youngin of youro'n.

  [holds up ripped pants] 

  Jed Clampett : How'd that happen?

  Daisy Moses : Fightin' with a bobcat.

  Jed Clampett : Get hurt?

  Daisy Moses : I reckon so. It went limpin' off on three legs.

  Jed Clampett : I swear I don't know what I'm gonna do about that girl.

• Jed Clampett : That's the thing about possum innards -- they's just as good the second day.

• [Elly carries in an unconscious man] 

  Elly May Clampett : He was skulkin' 'round down by the slough. Thought he might be a revenuer.

  Jed Clampett : He ain 't no revenuer.

  Elly May Clampett : Then can I keep him?

  Jed Clampett : Course not!

  Elly May Clampett : Well, I caught him.

  Jed Clampett : That don't matter.

  Elly May Clampett : Well, he won't be no trouble. I could keep him out in the smoke house.