- Jeff: I have a girlfriend!
- Wilma Lettings: So you keep saying, so why are you here?
- Jeff: Well, I-I I just...
- Wilma Lettings: She really does exist this girlfriend?
- Jeff: Oh, oh yeah she exists. She's very much an existing person, she's got tons of existence.
- [beat]
- Jeff: Well not too much existence, I don't mean she's huge or anything. She's somewhere between completely imaginary and a truck. If you can picture that.
- Susan: I'd like to think that the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with has a better reason for staying faithful than, "It might be a trick."
- Steve Taylor: Well, it wasn't the only thing! It was just like the... deterrent.
- Susan: The deterrent?
- Steve Taylor: Well, yeah - you know, like nuclear weaponry. I mean, nobody likes it, but it can help to keep the peace.
- Susan: Steve, you've just compared our relationship to the Cold War.
- Steve Taylor: Which - may I remind you - really lasted.
- Susan: So the nature of the bond between us is, in fact, the threat of mutually assured destruction?
- Steve Taylor: Oh, among many other things.