Frasier (TV Series)
Four for the Seesaw (1997)
John Mahoney: Martin Crane
Quotes
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Martin Crane : Nice meeting you, ladies. I'm really glad the boys brought you over. And it's been a long time since I said that and meant it.
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Martin Crane : All right. Okay.
[reading to Daphne]
Martin Crane : With a gasp of dismay, she ran to him, her amethyst eyes wide with alarm. 'You fool,' she hissed, 'Suppose someone saw you. The Duke's men are everywhere'.
[looks up]
Martin Crane : Hey, this isn't so bad.
Daphne Moon : I told you.
Martin Crane : [reading again] 'You fool,' she whispered again, 'You sweet, brave, wonderful fool. I should have died had you not found my bedchamber.'
[suddenly embarrassed]
Martin Crane : Oh, Geez!
[reads]
Martin Crane : Then she was in his arms and all her qualms forgotten as she tore his tunic asunder and thrust her eager lips against the sinews of his naked chest.
[He looks over to Daphne who seems to be asleep. He turns some pages and starts reading again]
Martin Crane : The next morning...
Daphne Moon : You left out a section!
Martin Crane : Okay, okay!
[goes back, reads]
Martin Crane : As his brazen fingers peeled the silken fabric from her heaving...
[coughs the word bosom out as he turns red]
Martin Crane : ... he beheld her quivering alabaster mounds.
[takes a huge gulp of his beer to wet his suddenly dry throat]
Martin Crane : At that moment she felt the proof of his rampant passion...
[he sweeps his forehead of sweat]
Martin Crane : against her milky thighs. His almost God-like beauty was marred only...
[he looks over to a sleeping Daphne]
Martin Crane : ... by the fact that he was...
[closes book]
Martin Crane : cross-eyed, three feet tall and had breath like owl droppings!
-
Martin Crane : So, you've been out on a double date, huh?
Beth Armstrong : Well, sort of. We met this afternoon and the next thing we knew, your sons were taking us out to dinner and then to the Seattle Rep.
Martin Crane : Oh, what did you see?
Laura Paris : 'The Man Who Came To Dinner.' It's about a bad-tempered invalid that moves into these people's house and just drives them crazy.
Martin Crane : Oh, comedy?
Frasier : I used to think so.