Frasier (TV Series)

The Botched Language of Cranes (1994)

Peri Gilpin: Roz Doyle

Quotes 

• Dr. Frasier Crane : I'd like to just say, as I've been saying for the last three hours, that it was not my intent to... cause anyone offense. But it seems obvious that I have, I would like to say this: I apologize. I do not find Seattle a depressing place to live. It would take more than clouds to obscure the beauty of her landscape and more than drizzle to dampen the warmth and good fellowship that makes Seattle the only place in this bad old world that I care to call home. 'Till Monday, then, this is Dr. Frasier Crane signing off.

  [Frasier presses a button on his control panel and takes his headset off] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Good grief! Have you ever in your life heard such a bunch of whiny, provincial crybabies? I swear to God, this entire city has lost its tiny, rain-addled mind!

  Roz Doyle : Uh, Dr. Crane, we're still on the air.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [awkward pause]  Thank you, Roz.

• Roz Doyle : Is that a new TV?

  Martin Crane : Yeah.

  Roz Doyle : That's great. Did you get it hooked up yet?

  Martin Crane : No, I decided I'd let Niles take a crack at it first.

• Roz Doyle : [to Frasier]  I hope you're happy! According to Betsy, the switchboard has logged over 50 irate calls!

  Bob 'Bulldog' Briscoe : Fifty? Damn, you topped my record! The most I ever got was 35 when I read that commentary, "Lady Umpires--Finally a Chest Worth Protecting!"

• Roz Doyle : If it's jokes you need, feel free to use some of mine.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [laughs]  I'm sure the nuns would just love that. Why don't I call Bulldog and ask him for a couple of limericks from his Nantucket series?