Friends (TV Series)
The One Where No One's Ready (1996)
Matt LeBlanc: Joey Tribbiani
Photos
Quotes
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Joey : Where's my underwear?
Ross : Whoa, whoa, whoa. You took his underwear?
Chandler : He took my essence.
Ross : Okay, now hold on. Joey, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?
Joey : Because, I'm not wearing any underwear now.
Ross : Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
Joey : It's a rented tux. Okay? I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.
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Chandler : All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole."
Joey : Okay.
[He gets up and takes the cushions with him, as he starts to leave]
Chandler : What are you doing?
Joey : You said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything about the cushions.
Chandler : The cushions are the essence of the chair.
Joey : THAT'S RIGHT. I'm taking the ESSENCE.
Chandler : Oh-ho, he'll be back. Oh-ho, there's nobody in the room.
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Joey : Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is: You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler : Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!
Joey : Look at me - I'm Chandler! Could I *be* wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando!
Chandler : Ugh UGH!
Joey : Phew! I tell you, it's hot with all this stuff on. I better not do any - you know - lunges!
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Joey : Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I *be* wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...
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Chandler : [to Joey] You know what? OK. Fine. Don't get up. You just sit right there. I hope you don't mind you know, my hand... right here!
[Chandler puts his hand right in front of Joey's face, annoying him]
Joey : Oh!
Chandler : [moves his hand back and forth while mocking Joey] Oh, not touching! Can't get mad! Not touching! Can't get mad! Not touching! Can't get mad!
[Joey gets mad and flicks some of his hummus at Chandler, but it misses and lands on Phoebe's dress]
Phoebe : [gets up] Oh my god! You rotten boys!
[the guys back away]
Chandler , Joey : Sorry Phoebe.
Joey : I'm so sorry.
Phoebe : [frantically examines the stain] What am I gonna do?
Ross : No! No! Don't-don't rub it! Don't! What gets out hummus? What gets out hummus?
[as he speaks, Ross claps his hands and Monica enters the room]
Phoebe : [cries] Monica! Monica! You know what gets out hummus?
Monica Geller : [pauses] If it *is* a new message, what is he calling to say?
Phoebe : [sarcastically] OK. Thanks. Yeah, I'll try that!