- Thurston Howell III: [after they were under machine gun attack by the unseen gorilla] We are dealing with a super mentality, an enemy with an intelligence far superior to ours.
- Professor Roy Hinkley: Mr. Howell, I shall have to contest your theory.
- Thurston Howell III: You contest your commanding general? A man who studied under Robert E Lee and George Custer?
- Jonas 'The Skipper' Grumby: You would pick two losers.
- Mary Ann Summers: Oh, Mrs. Howell, what do you think?
- Mrs. Lovey Howell: I think he should put it back where it belongs! It looks awful!
- Ginger Grant: Mata Hari reporting for duty.
- Professor Roy Hinkley: Ginger, this is neither the time nor the place for a woman.
- Ginger Grant: Forget that I'm a woman. I'm a secret agent trying to capture the enemy.
- Thurston Howell III: You contest your Commanding General? A man who studied under General Lee and George Custer?
- Jonas 'The Skipper' Grumby: You would pick two losers.
- Gilligan: I once stared at a man-eating tiger for two hours and twenty-six minutes, and it didn't bite me.
- Jonas 'The Skipper' Grumby: But Gilligan, that tiger was behind bars!