- Hal: Now remember, boys, if you see the bobcat, don't be a hero. Stand on a chair and use your whistle.
- Hal: And then the stop sign army springs into action all in support of the military industrial country club complex.
- Dewey: Malcolm, in school we learned the coolest thing: there were these people that did this broadcast to convince everyone that aliens were landing. So what we do is wait for Reese to fall asleep, then we flash some lights outside his window then we go to the TV, but we'll have already made a tape...
- Malcolm: Dewey, you're totally over-thinking this. Reese, aliens landed down the street!
- Reese: [Runs in wearing a helmet and carrying a bat] Every man for himself!
- Lois: I think that if we gave Reese a little more responsibility, he would rise to the challenge. Now, I'm not talking about giving him a key to the house or anything.