- Lou Grant: [puts Mary's sleeping pills on a high shelf] Wait a minute. If I can reach, you can reach!
- Ted Baxter: [Lou, Murray, and Ted are interrupting Mary's bath] Wait a minute. I wanna read Mary my speech. Murray...
- [drops his glasses in the tub with Mary]
- Mary Richards: Don't... you... daaarrre!
- Ted Baxter: Relax Mary, this'll only take an hour.
- Mary Richards: AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!
- Mary Richards: Mr Grant, I am taking a bath. Naked!
- Lou Grant: Naked?
- Mary Richards: Yes. Many people bathe that way.
- Lou Grant: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I came over here because I was worried about you!
- Mary Richards: Yes, I realize that... ..
- Lou Grant: Worried to death! You think I care that you're in the bathtub?
- Mary Richards: Obviously not!
- Lou Grant: You think that's why I came? I was at home with my shoes off, having a beer. Nice and comfortable. You imagine I suddenly said to myself 'Hey. Why don't I go over and see if I can cop a peek at Mary?'!
- Ted Baxter: [Murray can't insult Ted in return for a speech to Murray's daughter's class] Morning, Mary. Well, I'd love to make idle chit chat with you two but I have to memorize my address.
- Mary Richards: Oh, good. Then maybe you can memorize your phone number.
- Ted Baxter: You better not be laughing, Murray!
- [walks away]
- Murray Slaughter: Thanks.
- Mary Richards: Well, listen, someone's gotta do it.