- Grandpa: Have you ever put a curse on the whole automobile?
- Henry J. Fregosi: Only once. I assume you've heard of the Edsel?
- Telephone Operator: Werewolf Junction, Transylvania information, may I help you?
- Grandpa: My name is Count Dracula, I wish to lo...
- Telephone Operator: Count Dracula? The original Count Dracula?
- Grandpa: You've heard of me?
- Telephone Operator: Oh! I've heard your praises sung ever since my childhood, you once bit my grandmother!
- Grandpa: Who, well, where's Marilyn?
- Lily Munster: She went out with Roger Davis. It's the fourth straight date!
- Herman Munster: Oh, sounds serious. Last time she was out four nights in a row, she had a job walking the neighbor's dog.
- Eddie Munster: Grandpa?
- Grandpa: Yes pal?
- Eddie Munster: In 1623, after Duke Ferdinand Fregosi put a curse on it, what did he do with the ring?
- Grandpa: Threw it out the window.
- Eddie Munster: And you found it?
- Grandpa: It changed hands until 1888 and then I won it from Jack the Ripper in a poker game.
- Marilyn Munster: Well, did you know it had a curse on it?
- Grandpa: No, not until I tried to sell it in Transylvania. Nobody would even give me a grubnitz for it!
- Marilyn Munster: [opening a birthday present] What an unusual wallet!
- Grandpa: That's imported tarantula skin!