The Office (TV Series)
Booze Cruise (2006)
Steve Carell: Michael Scott
Photos
Quotes
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Jim Halpert : [Michael's hands are tied to the rail of the Booze Cruise ship] What happened to you?
Michael Scott : Captain Jack has a problem with authority.
Jim Halpert : Right, 'cause you announced that his ship was sinking?
Michael Scott : Yeah. He just totally lost it. If you ask me, he caused the panic.
Jim Halpert : What a night.
Michael Scott : Well, it's nice for you. Your friend got engaged.
Jim Halpert : She was always engaged.
Michael Scott : Roy said the first one didn't count.
Jim Halpert : That's great. You know, to tell you the truth, I used to have a big thing for Pam. So...
Michael Scott : Really? You're kidding me. You and Pam? Wow! I would have never put you two together. You really hid it well. God! I usually have a radar for stuff like that.
[sighs]
Michael Scott : You know, I made out with Jan.
Jim Halpert : Yeah, I know.
Michael Scott : Yeah, yeah. Well, Pam is cute.
Jim Halpert : Yeah. She's really funny, and she's warm, and she's just... Anyway.
Michael Scott : Well, if you like her so much, don't give up.
Jim Halpert : She's engaged.
Michael Scott : BFD. Engaged ain't married.
Jim Halpert : Huh.
Michael Scott : [Uncharacteristically serious] Never, ever, ever give up.
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Dwight Schrute : Don't worry, Michael. I'm taking us to shore.
Michael Scott : It's a fake wheel, dummy.
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Michael Scott : I see the sales department as the furnace.
Phyllis : A furnace?
Jim Halpert : How old is this ship?
Pam Beesley : How about the anchor?
Phyllis : What does the furnace do?
Michael Scott : All right, let's not get hung up on the furnace. It's just... It's the sales... I see the sales department are down there. They're in the engine room, and they're shoveling coal into the furnace. Right? I mean, who saw the movie "Titanic"? They were very important in the movie "Titanic." Who saw it? Show of hands.
Jim Halpert : Not really sure what movie you're talking about. Are you sure you got the title right?
Michael Scott : "Titanic."
Pam Beesley : I think you're thinking of "The Hunt for Red October."
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Michael Scott : In an office, when you are ranking people, manager is higher than captain. On a boat, who knows? It's nebulous.
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Dwight Schrute : Seasick? Captain Jack says you should look at the moon.
Michael Scott : Captain Jack's a fart face.
[throws up]
Michael Scott : I'm on medication.
Brenda : Really, what?
Michael Scott : Vomicillan.