- Weekend Update Anchor: In a surprise move this week, the Catholic Church said nothing about Madonna.
- Christian DuBois: Uh.. well, you remember when a lot of people used to hitchhike, and... I used to hitchhike, too... but... one time, this guy in a green Chevy Nova was nice enough to give me a lift, and about five miles into the ride, I stabbed him repeatedly and left him for dead. And... that... that got a lot of press. And, to make things worse, I kind of went on this hitchhiking murder spree, and ever since, people have been kind of gun-shy about picking up hitchhikers.
- Host of Ruining It For Everyone: So, you feel you ruined hitchhiking for everyone?
- Christian DuBois: Well, no. Practically... I mean, I myself still pick up hitchhikers.
- Host of Ruining It For Everyone: Really?
- Christian DuBois: Yeah. and then, I stab them, which probably only makes things worse.
- Host of Ruining It For Everyone: Thank you, Christian.