- Kramer and Newman pre-pre-plan competing millennium parties; George schemes to get fired from the Yankees; Elaine protests bad service.
- Kramer and Newman begin preliminary planning on elaborate parties for New Year's Eve 1999, but separate over including Jerry. George gets a job offer with the Mets and devises creative ways to get fired from the Yankees. Jerry dates a girl named Valerie who uses her speed dial as a way of measuring relationships. But when Jerry takes over the top spot, Valerie's stepmother demands that her spot be put back in place. Meanwhile, Elaine gets in a feud with the owner of a Mayan clothing store who completely ignores her.—halo1k
- Jerry's new girlfriend seems to rate her relationships on her telephone speed-dialing pad: the more important the person, the higher up the scale s/he is. Jerry's quite happy to see that he's number 3, but a few days later he's unhappy to find himself number 6. He moves his way back up the dial and lands in the middle of a feud between the girl and her stepmother. Meanwhile, Elaine decides to protest with her wallet when she gets particularly bad service in a store. Newman and Kramer battle when they discover that they've both planned big Millennium Eve parties.—garykmcd
- The Job Offer After being recruited by the New York Mets to be their head scout, George is told that they can only hire him if he gets fired from the New York Yankees. However, his more and more dramatic efforts to get fired only end up making him look better. He wears Babe Ruth's uniform and deliberately gets food stains all over it, but Mr. Steinbrenner praises him, thinking it supports an "out with the old, in with the new" mentality. George then appears to streak through Yankee Stadium during a game, but he's actually wearing a flesh-colored body suit that makes him popular with the fans. Finally, he tries to destroy a replica Yankees' World Series trophy by hitching it to his Buick Regal and driving through the parking lot while screaming insults to the ball club with a megaphone. This finally brings the ire of Steinbrenner, before Mr. Wilhelm (Richard Herd) appears, takes credit for telling George what to do, gets fired and then takes the job with the Mets.
Putumayo Elaine tries to run an ethnic-themed clothes store called Putumayo out of business after receiving bad customer service. First, she tries shopping at a competing store, Cinco De Mayo, but discovers that the same woman from Putumayo owns both stores. Later, she tries to get Kramer, under an alter ego named HE Pennypacker, to change the price tags on the labels to $.99, but he accidentally destroys the pricing gun before he can finish. Instead, he tries to take the desiccant packs from the clothes as Plan B, so he only manages to ruin the clothing in about 5 years, making Laney more distressed and presumably gives up. Kramer then eats some free chips the store gives out to its customers and unknowingly drops one of the desiccant packs in the salsa dip.
Speed Dial Meanwhile, Jerry gets caught in a war over speed dial rankings between his girlfriend, Valerie (Lauren Graham), and her domineering stepmom. Valerie's stepmom is angry that it took her 13 years to get to #1 on her speed dial, yet she gave the spot to Jerry by dating her for under a week. She tries to threaten Jerry and later seduce her, but nothing works. Valerie's stepmom eventually hides Jerry's number in one of her emergency speed dials.
Later, Valerie's stepmom is poisoned by eating desiccant from Putumayo's clothes that Kramer spilled into a bowl of salsa at the store. When Valerie tries calling poison control, she ends up calling him instead, to which Jerry replies, "Wow! Poison control? That's even higher than number one!" Valerie is disgusted at this and hangs up on Jerry.
To The "Newmannium" Finally, Kramer and Newman (Wayne Knight) learn that they're each planning rival millennium parties, both on December 31, 1999 (Newman's party is called the "Newmannium"). Eventually, they agree to combine them into one party on the insistence of Newman that they do not invite Jerry. However, Newman lets Jerry come in exchange for Elaine's presence, after she'd committed to Kramer's party. In the end, Jerry tells Newman that he made his reservation one year late, as he booked it for "the Millennium new year", 2001, which means that his party would be on December 31, 2000, since there was no year 0. Newman squawks with frustration and leaves.
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