- Tony Soprano: Did you ever know anybody that ever committed suicide?
- Janice Soprano: Uhmm, plenty. I used to live in Seattle, Tony.
- Tony Soprano: [repeated line when someone questions his agenda or refuses his help] what am I? A toxic person?
- Ralph Cifaretto: [refusing to loan Artie money after he asked for it] I hate to do it, Artie. But I think I'm going to pass.
- Artie Bucco: Why not?
- Ralph Cifaretto: Cause if you don't pay me back, I ain't gonna be able to hurt ya.
- Christopher Moltisanti: What's going on?
- Tony Soprano: The truck load the other night from Port Elizabeth: get the washing machines from Frank Cantino
- Christopher Moltisanti: You got it, vacuum cleaners too?
- Tony Soprano: No, Patsy's got a buyer for those. You been drinking?
- Christopher Moltisanti: Me and Ade had some wine at the house
- Tony Soprano: I've been wanting to talk to you
- Christopher Moltisanti: Yeah, I've been wanting to talk to you too
- Tony Soprano: I'll go first. I've got to make it my number one priority to limit my exposure to potentially damaging conversations: wire taps and shit like that
- Christopher Moltisanti: Sure, guy in your position...
- Tony Soprano: So, over the next couple years, more and more, I'm going to be giving my orders through you, and finally, only through you
- Christopher Moltisanti: What about Sil? You got that with him, and Paulie?
- Tony Soprano: Those other guys: Sil, Paulie, one thing they're not, they're not my blood. You hear what I'm saying to you? It's a matter of trust
- Christopher Moltisanti: It's very wise
- Tony Soprano: Sil's a good Consigliere and his going to continue on as such but his no fuckin spring chicken either. On the other hand there's no reason to give him a fuckin attitude either
- Christopher Moltisanti: No, of course not
- Tony Soprano: Now there's going to be a period of transition
- Christopher Moltisanti: [Excitingly] Jesus Christ, T
- Tony Soprano: You're going to take this family into the twenty-first century
- Christopher Moltisanti: But we're already in the twenty-first century though, T
- Tony Soprano: [Remains silent]
- Christopher Moltisanti: Whatever you say T, I'll follow you into the gates of hell. That's what I was going to say to you: what you did for me, that fuck who killed my father. I'll never forget that. I only hope I'm worthy
- Tony Soprano: Why wouldn't you be worthy?
- Christopher Moltisanti: [Before hugging and kissing each other on both cheeks] I'm just saying
- Tony Soprano: [referring to loaning his friend Artie money and knowing ahead of time Artie wouldn't be able to pay him back] so he says I planned it all along, how I could see twenty steps down the road how it was going to go and how he was going to get screwed
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Did you? See it?
- Tony Soprano: I don't know, according to him its subconscious, second nature
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: But the accusation bothers you
- Tony Soprano: Is that the kind of person I am? A hawk?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: As I understand it you make a lot of your living through usury so why the pangs of conscience this time? Do you think your reaction would be the same a week after you found out about Gloria?
- Tony Soprano: I'll tell you one thing: one suicide is bad enough but two? They can both go fuck themselves. I made a donation in her name to the suicide hotline, that's it
- Devin Pillsbury: I "pictured" your house different, I figured it'd be like Don Corleone's compound with gates and walls with a big old Cadillac, isn't that stupid?
- A.J. Soprano: [referring to the sequel of The Godfather, jokingly] our place in Tahoe looks like Michael's in 2
- Devin Pillsbury: [impressed] wow, really?
- A.J. Soprano: [smiles] no, we don't have a place in Tahoe: we have a boat though
- Devin Pillsbury: I'm like a gangster dude's girlfriend
- Elodi Colbert: [referring to the number of reservations for the restaurant] already eighty-six tonight
- Artie Bucco: they come to see you
- Elodi Colbert: I eat so much of your food, I'm gonna get a belly
- Artie Bucco: is Jean-Philippe, ok?
- Elodi Colbert: what do you mean?
- Artie Bucco: he was gonna call me, I left him a couple messages, he didn't call me back, did you hear from him? Does he call your mother?
- Elodi Colbert: well, he always works late hours: the time difference, by the time we're waking up, their already at home eating dinner
- Elodi Colbert: [while giving him a CD] I almost forget, I bring you something
- Elodi Colbert: [before walking away] I have to put the flowers in the vases
- Artie Bucco: [as Tony arrives to visit him in the hospital] oh Jesus
- Tony Soprano: What happened?
- Artie Bucco: [Referring to the investment he tried to make with Jean-Philippe] it went to shit. The "Next Vodka."
- Tony Soprano: [Referring to his suicide attempt] so, this is what you do?
- Artie Bucco: You don't understand. The money is gone
- Tony Soprano: Can't you come talk to me? Hey, I'm your friend. Suppose you hadn't been able to reach me and I come over to your house and I find you dead, how am I supposed to feel?
- Artie Bucco: [Before crying] take the restaurant
- Tony Soprano: I don't want the fuckin restaurant
- Artie Bucco: How am I going to pay you back? Fifty thousand dollars, it'd take the rest of my life
- Tony Soprano: It's fifty-one five, "vig"-wise, and technically you already missed a payment. Alright, look, we'll wipe my tab at the restaurant
- Artie Bucco: Thank you, Tony, that's what? Six-thousand dollars? What about the rest of the money?
- Tony Soprano: I'll assume the guy's debt. Collecting fifty G's
- Artie Bucco: Thank you. The "cobwebs" are now removed"
- Tony Soprano: The fuck you talking about?
- Artie Bucco: You saw this whole thing didn't you? You knew exactly what was going to happen. You can see twenty moves down the road. Please, I don't blame you, I envy you. It's like an instinct: like a hawk sees a little mouse moving around in a corn field from a mile up
- Tony Soprano: You think it's my fault you're fuckin lying in here?
- Artie Bucco: It's just that somebody mentions fifty grand to bankroll a French thief and your mind goes through all the permutations at like internet speed and realizes "oh worst case scenario, I eat for free"
- Tony Soprano: You fuckin suicide, you're disgraceful
- Artie Bucco: I'm sorry
- Tony Soprano: No fuck that, is there anybody else know that it was me I loaned you the money?
- Artie Bucco: Like who?
- Tony Soprano: Like who? I don't give a fuck who: Adriana, Father Intintola, my wife, anybody?
- Tony Soprano: [after Artie shakes his head] You got mugged outside your house. It was a "street crime", kids, they took the wallet and your watch. Where are they?
- Artie Bucco: Why?
- Tony Soprano: Why? You don't care what people think? Well I do. Enough people hate me. You fought back. They ripped your earring out of your ear, you were bleeding, and went inside your house. You took a bunch of pills to kill the pain because you knew you had to wait at the emergency room for a couple hours
- Artie Bucco: Tone, they pumped my stomach. They saw the Armagnac
- Tony Soprano: You got fuckin mugged! Do you understand me? I didn't loan you shit!
- Carmela Soprano: [while in their bedroom] Sometimes I worry about Furio, I mean doesn't he seem lonely? I was telling Jessica about him this morning, you know the hygienist in Dr. Masara's office? I know I shouldn't gossip, but I think she was having an affair with Dr. Masara?
- Carmela Soprano: [shows him the photo on the card] Here she is: their office Christmas card
- Tony Soprano: [jokingly] Oh, yeah there's his hand on her ass
- Carmela Soprano: [takes the card away] stop it. Anyway, I think she's ready for somebody nice and she seemed very receptive when I described Furio to her
- Tony Soprano: She's not his type
- Carmela Soprano: Well, what's his type?
- Tony Soprano: Don't worry about him: stay out of it
- Carmela Soprano: One date wouldn't hurt
- Tony Soprano: Why'd you wanna bother? My little Hello Dolly?
- Carmela Soprano: Speaking of gossip, that noise in the Mercedes, I brought it over to Globe Motors to have it looked at and I was talking to Jerry in the service department, remember that nice saleslady?
- Tony Soprano: [lying] I don't think so
- Carmela Soprano: Gloria Trillo? She gave me a ride home that day? You know what Jerry told me about her? She died
- Tony Soprano: She what?
- Carmela Soprano: She committed suicide, isn't that awful?
- Carmela Soprano: [sarcastically, when Tony doesn't reply] Mr. Empathy over there: she hung herself from a chandelier
- Artie Bucco: [referring to Elodi, after seeing Charmaine ask her to remove empty plates from a table] she's a hostess: not a busboy
- Charmaine Bucco: [impersonating Elodi clapping] what was that all about, huh?
- Artie Bucco: it's just a venture capital "thing" with Jean-Philippe, I'm sure it wouldn't pass your incredibly high Wharton School of Business standards
- Charmaine Bucco: you want to make some "meaningful" money, why don't you get your friend Anthony Soprano to pay his tab? It's close to six thousand dollars
- Artie Bucco: [before he flicks his chin] I could have an "empire" like Bobby Flay, and it still wouldn't be good enough for you
- Charmaine Bucco: ok, I'll make you a deal, we'll start working on your "empire" right after we pay the ten thousand dollars of orthodonture our children will need this year
- Artie Bucco: Can I talk to you?
- Tony Soprano: yeah, what's going on?
- Artie Bucco: [referring to the money Tony loaned Artie] I just wanted to give you a little "heads up", I know the money's due in a couple days. Frankly, I'm a little concerned, I can't get ahold of Jean-Philippe: he doesn't return my calls
- Tony Soprano: did you go over there?
- Artie Bucco: not yet
- Tony Soprano: well, you gotta get over there, the guy's not returning your phone calls
- Artie Bucco: I know
- Tony Soprano: If they miss a payment, they start acting like their doing you a favor if they give you anything and then you're spend all your time hounding them: you gotta get your arms around this "thing"
- Salesman: [approaches Tony as he looks at one of their cars in the dealership] they're on allocation from the factory, I don't know when we're gonna get anymore in but I'm free if you want to take it for a spin?
- Tony Soprano: actually, I was working with one of your other salespeople last year, she was really very helpful. I ought to give her the business, Gloria Trillo?
- Salesman: oh, well, she's no longer with us
- Tony Soprano: you know where she went?
- Salesman: actually, she died
- Tony Soprano: what happened?
- Salesman: well, she committed suicide
- Tony Soprano: why? I mean she was... salesperson of the year or something?
- Salesman: I didn't know her that well but I got the impression that she wasn't very lucky with men: that sort of thing
- Tony Soprano: when was this?
- Salesman: a month ago, maybe two?
- Tony Soprano: what'd she say? I mean... in the papers you read they always leave a note
- Salesman: she did leave a note on her desk: the police took it. Later, they told us it was a copy for a classified ad, she was selling her wolf stove. Anyway, let me give you my card
- Artie Bucco: Ok, in a nutshell, I'd like to borrow a "little" money
- Ralph Cifaretto: How "little"?
- Artie Bucco: Fifty thousand: just for a couple weeks, I'm upgrading the kitchen in the restaurant
- Ralph Cifaretto: [jokingly] Get the fuck outta here, what you take out of that bar, you must be sitting on money like King Croesus
- Artie Bucco: [amused] I wish
- Ralph Cifaretto: [referring to the interest his going to charge] You know, I'm not gonna be able to loan you money for less than two points
- Artie Bucco: That's not a problem
- Ralph Cifaretto: Just out of curiosity, what's gonna happen in two weeks?
- Artie Bucco: Oh, the insurance check is gonna come
- Ralph Cifaretto: [after thinking it over] I hate to do it, but I think I'm going to pass: sorry
- Artie Bucco: [disappointed] Why not?
- Ralph Cifaretto: [because of Artie's close friendship to Tony] Because if you don't pay me back, I ain't gonna be able to hurt you
- Tony Soprano: So, how you doing?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What's going on?
- Tony Soprano: Oh, nothing: how about you?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Fine, thank you
- Tony Soprano: Really? Business, ok? Everybody "hunky-dory"?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Well, you know, "onward and upward"
- Tony Soprano: How's Gloria Trillo doing? Still "hanging around?"
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [referring to Gloria's suicide] It's a terrible tragedy
- Tony Soprano: [before he angrily approaching her and slaps her tissue box off her coffee table] So, you fuckin know, you lied. You let me fuckin sit there!
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [nervously] Please, sit down
- Tony Soprano: How the fuck am I supposed to trust you? You're my doctor
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [after smelling his breath] Please, sit down, you're scaring me: you've been drinking
- Tony Soprano: Why the fuck didn't you help her?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Sometimes you can't
- Tony Soprano: I bet you charged her enough didn't you, huh? I bet you didn't cut her a deal because you're a fuckin incompetent?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I give my patients everything I've got and when something like this happens, I'm devastated
- Tony Soprano: [after calming down and sits back down] She was a good kid, but she was fuckin crazy and I told you that and I want you to know that I was up front with her: she knew I was married
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I'm aware of that
- Tony Soprano: suicide? Jesus Christ, what the fuck?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I have to respect confidentially even after when a patient is dead, but with something like this, there's no one cause. You yourself just referred to her emotional problems, she slipped through everyone's grasp
- Tony Soprano: She did it after me, I mean admit it. You know, she reached out to me for me to care and I wasn't there for her
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Why are you so quick to blame yourself?
- Tony Soprano: if you need a favor, what'd I do, you don't reach out to me?
- Artie Bucco: [confused] what are you talking about?
- Tony Soprano: Ralph Cifaretto told me you came to him for money? You need something, you don't come to me? I'm your friend
- Artie Bucco: right, so consider yourself "lucky" I didn't impinge our friendship
- Tony Soprano: yeah, but this is "me"
- Artie Bucco: [referring to his daughter] if I was desperate, if Melissa had a tumor instead of an overbite, you'd be the first one I went to but this was a business venture
- Tony Soprano: what kind of deal?
- Artie Bucco: Elodi's brother needs a bridge loan fifty thousand dollars and I get back fifty-seven and a half in ten days
- Tony Soprano: I thought it was for the restaurant?
- Artie Bucco: I told Ralphie that, I didn't want him going around meeting the "principles"
- Tony Soprano: what for then?
- Artie Bucco: [before showing him a sample bottle] North American distribution rights for Armagnac: it's the "new vodka." This stuff is sweeping Europe, it's gonna be bigger than Stoli, Goose, who ever heard of "goose" before? It's French vodka, these guys, their "big players". Their throwing millions behind product introduction
- Tony Soprano: [convinced] alright, you got it
- Artie Bucco: [insistently] I told you already, no
- Tony Soprano: [irritated] what the fuck am I? A toxic person?
- Artie Bucco: no, come on please
- Tony Soprano: I'll charge you a point and a half and believe me, I know that's a lot fuckin better than Ralph Cifaretto would do
- Tony Soprano: [handing him money] I insist, here's like three thousand: someone's gonna come by here with the rest
- Artie Bucco: [after taking the money] you're a great guy