- Tony Soprano: YOU STUPID FUCKIN' MORON! You realized what could have happened to you if we didn't have connections? Some cop goes by the book and they charge you with attempted murder! You hear me! Attempted murder, then what? THEN WHAT?
- Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: He shot you! Were you just gonna let him fucking get away with it?
- Tony Soprano: I told you that's my business not yours! And what did you do? Nothing! Zero a big fucking jerk-off!
- Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: FUCK YOU!
- Tony Soprano: I oughta break your fucking neck!
- [Tony grabs him forcingly and lets a sobbing A.J. go]
- Tony Soprano: Stop cryin'! Stop cryin'!
- [pause for a moment]
- Tony Soprano: I guess your heart was in the right place A.J. But it's wrong. Come on!
- Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: What?
- Tony Soprano: It's not in your nature!
- Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: You don't know me! Alright! You don't know anything about me!
- Tony Soprano: You're a nice guy! And I'm greatful for that!
- Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: Well you're a fucking hypocrite! Because everytime we watch "Godfather". When Michael Corleone shoots those guys at the restaurant, those assholes who tried to kill his dad. You sit there with your fucking bowl of ice cream and say it's your favorite scene of all time!
- Tony Soprano: [Outside the police station] Jesus Christ AJ, you make me want to cry, it's a movie you've got to grow up, you're not a little kid anymore, you hear me? You've got to grow up.
- Silvio Dante: [sitting in front of Satriale's] Jason Masucci was in Tampa visiting his mother: he thought he saw Vito in a Jenny Craig ad, turned out to be some other fat piece of shit
- Christopher Moltisanti: [to Tony, referring to killing Vito] If that fag ever does come back, you should have Carlo do "it", it'd be "good" with all the crews
- Tony Soprano: [referring to Christopher originally insisted on wanting to kill Vito] Excuse me? You were all "hot to trot"
- Christopher Moltisanti: Nah, I got enough "complications" in my life: Feds up my ass, for "business" reasons are ok, but for "political correctness"?
- Tony Soprano: [after seeing Julianna Skiff across the street] whoa, check it out
- Silvio Dante: [referring to having sex with her] I could do that, no problem
- Christopher Moltisanti: [jokingly] Wait here, I'll get you a Viagra
- Tony Soprano: Let me tell you something: two months after the shooting, as far as Sinatra was concerned, I didn't even have a hard on" when I woke up in the morning
- Christopher Moltisanti: [to Tony, before Sil gives Christopher the middle finger] Like Sil
- Silvio Dante: [to Tony] The bullet didn't hit the fuckin "plumbing" though
- Tony Soprano: [crosses himself] No, thank God. It's just the "effects" of the physical "trauma", doc said it was part of the "healing process", I must be "healed" now because I got a "bagget" in my pants now, twenty four seven
- Silvio Dante: [jokingly] "Affirmation of life"
- Tony Soprano: Hey, Mrs. Conte. Come stai? How is the hip?
- Mrs. Conte: Hey Anthony, oh I need your help!
- Tony Soprano: What?
- Mrs. Conte: Those Nigger fucking whores, they play that music so loud!
- Tony Soprano: That's not nice. And those are Puerto Ricans.
- Mrs. Conte: I asked them nice to turn it down, they tell me to go fuck myself!
- Tony Soprano: ...I'll see what I can do.
- Mrs. Conte: Thanks.
- Patsy Parisi: [shaking hands] Welcome to the neighborhood, we're from the Northward Merchants Protective Cooperative
- Coffeehouse Manager: I'm kind of busy, you guys looking for a donation?
- Burt Gervasi: [referring to Patsy] Let him finish
- Patsy Parisi: You may have noticed, not to denigrate anyone but this is a transitional neighborhood. I mean, demographically speaking you still have a lot of marginal types
- Burt Gervasi: And we merchants have found, you really should have some round the clock security
- Coffeehouse Manager: Isn't that what the police are for?
- Patsy Parisi: they do their best but they got their hands full: your weekly dues to us will give you all the supplemental safety net, you'll ever need
- Coffeehouse Manager: I can't authorize anything like that: it'll have to go through corporate in Seattle
- Patsy Parisi: We merchants prefer to deal on a personal, one on one basis
- Coffeehouse Manager: I don't have any discretionary fund: it's gotta go through corporate
- Burt Gervasi: How do you think corporate would feel, for the sake of argument, someone threw a brick through your window?
- Coffeehouse Manager: They've got like ten thousand stores in North America, I don't they'd feel anything
- Patsy Parisi: What if, God forbid, it wasn't just vandalism? What if an employee, the manager, let's say, was assaulted?
- Coffeehouse Manager: Look, every last fuckin coffee bean is in the computer, it has to be accounted for, if the numbers don't add up, I'd be gone and someone else will be here
- Orderly: [while bringing his meal] there you go Corrado
- Junior Soprano: How come I don't get no mail?
- Orderly: Maybe you need to write some letters? Start a correspondence
- Junior Soprano: [after the orderly leaves, referring to the orderly, to the others sitting at his table] lying cock sucker
- Tony Soprano: Your amigos with the baggy pants, I hope you kept them away from the silver
- Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: Oh, Jesus, their musicians aright? they saw the ad for the drums
- Tony Soprano: You're selling your drums?
- Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: I need cash, I don't play them anymore
- Carmela Soprano: Those drums were a gift from your father
- Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: Yeah, I don't wanna sell them, if you guys hadn't made me get such a crappy job, I wouldn't have to
- Carmela Soprano: oh, so this is our fault?
- Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: I'm wasting my time at Blockbuster
- Tony Soprano: Then get off your ass and get another job
- Carmela Soprano: What about community college? You said were gonna go back to school
- Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: [irritated, intentionally speaking slowly to belittle them] Ok, for the hundredth time, I can't register until second semester! I mean, Jesus Christ, I do what you guys want, don't I deserve some kind of life?
- Tony Soprano: [Meeting privately] what can I do for you Phil?
- Phil Leotardo: Vito, do we know where his at?
- Tony Soprano: Well, that doesn't really concern you, how's John?
- Phil Leotardo: I don't know, fine through his veil of tears. But seriously, Vito, what's being done about it?
- Tony Soprano: Like I just said it's none of your fuckin business because he works for me, not you
- Phil Leotardo: His married to my cousin. He dishonored me personally
- Tony Soprano: What'd you want me to do? Put out an APB because the guy takes it up the ass? It's a victimless crime
- Phil Leotardo: Marie is a victim, her children are victims, and are forced to live with this shame and humiliation. I've got to frank. In your father's day, we wouldn't be having this conversation. A finook in his crew? He knew how to handle it
- Tony Soprano: I sympathize with Marie and the children ok? But don't you fuckin tell me what to do, your only acting boss
- Phil Leotardo: I swallowed my pride when your murdering fuck of a cousin killed my brother, don't think I'm going to do it twice
- Tony Soprano: Phil let's not make a beef where there isn't one. Fundamentally we are in agreement on this issue but I'll handle it
- Tony Soprano: [referring to AJ] the kid spends every fuckin night in some club in New York, sleeps until noon, puts in a couple hours at Blockbuster and that's it. Since my injury like I told you I've been "perceptive". Be grateful for what you've got, but maybe that's wrong, maybe I should be on the kid. My dad would've kicked my lazy ass out of the house.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Really?
- Tony Soprano: [Referring to Tony's father committing that act when someone couldn't pay the debt back the debt to Tony's father] it's the chopping off of the guy's finger right? I never should've told you that because that's all you fixate on with him.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Can you emphasize with AJ at that age?
- Tony Soprano: Yeah I had some problems at school but I didn't vegetate
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: These are different times, young people are bombarded with so much information and so much input of every kind, consequently true adulthood is delayed. Sociologists say the new 26 is in fact the new 21
- Tony Soprano: And the new 26 is what? I'm 46 so that means I'm 35?
- Vito Spatafore: Sometimes you tell a lie so long... you don't know when to stop. You don't know when it's safe.
- Tony Soprano: It's like a "bad smell", in the house: it's always "hanging there", the "odor" is no good for me and Carmela and arguing with AJ is no kind of aphrodisiac, I'll tell you that
- Tony Soprano: [when she doesn't respond] Just when I was beginning to feel physically good again like my own self
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Good, I see
- Tony Soprano: [referring to having an extra marital affair] But honestly though, no one could blame a man for seeking an extra-curricular outlet in a situation like this
- Tony Soprano: [when she doesn't verbally respond] Don't give me that look: you're always telling me I'm "projecting", now your "projecting"
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: So, you're not seeking an extra-curricular outlet?
- Tony Soprano: [adamantly] No, I was just being theoretical: what Carmela did for me when I was hurt, the way she took care of me, nursed me back to health. You think I'm gonna fuckin betray that?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Is it possible on some level you blame her for AJ's problems?
- Tony Soprano: I don't know... no. Carmela's a good mother: she did her best. Could you just give me some practical advice? For once? Tell me what the fuck to do with my son?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Well, I think it's entirely appropriate for you and Carmela to tell AJ you have certain expectations of him. Particularly, since his living in your home, the most important thing is that you and Carmela are in agreement on the issues. That you don't undercut each other or act at cross purposes
- Julianna Skiff: [talking privately inside Satriale's] You own the building at 217 Franklin, right around the corner currently occupied by Caputo Live Poultry. I represent the Jamba Juice company, their interested in purchasing the property
- Tony Soprano: [surprised] Jamba Juice, wants to put in a store around here.
- Julianna Skiff: You must've noticed, the area's on an upswing. You know the old glove factory? Across the park over by the cathedral? Beautiful renovation. I just bought a loft there myself
- Tony Soprano: a person like yourself is a wonderful addition to the neighborhood
- Julianna Skiff: Jamba Juice is willing to pay a hundred and seventy-five dollars a square foot: public records show the building is eighteen hundred square feet so that makes the purchase price three hundred and fifteen thousand dollars
- Tony Soprano: You ever buy eggs from Caputo?
- Julianna Skiff: [shakes her head] frankly, I'm not wild about the smell in there
- Tony Soprano: Let me tell you, his eggs taste ten times better than the ones you get at the supermarket, chickens too
- Julianna Skiff: well, businesses relocate all the time
- Tony Soprano: [after thinking it over] it'll be a real loss for the neighborhood
- Julianna Skiff: Don't you live out in North Caldwell?
- Tony Soprano: yeah, my family made the trip up "guinea gulch," Bloomfield Avenue: my roots here go way back. My grandfather came from Avellino, like most of the people around here
- Tony Soprano: [points to across the street] I grew up right over there, my father was an early community leader
- Julianna Skiff: uh huh
- Tony Soprano: How about you, where you from?
- Julianna Skiff: Upstate New York, Binghamton
- Tony Soprano: How'd you wind up here?
- Julianna Skiff: My parents have a catering business, something to leave the kids right? Only, I didn't see myself making Salisbury Steak for the next thirty years, so I left home at seventeen
- Tony Soprano: oh, rebellious
- Julianna Skiff: [referring to the real estate deal] Just a low tolerance for... boredom. So, interested? Or not interested?
- Tony Soprano: I'm interested but as far as the property is concerned, one seventy-five a square foot is a little low and I don't wanna sell from under the guy
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: My father is an old man: it's ridiculous to let himself disintegrate like this
- Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: How's it going with patient Soprano?
- Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: [when she doesn't respond] What?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I'm talking about my father
- Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: I thought you were done
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: It happens too often
- Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: I think that's a non-secular accusation
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Why don't you just admit he's a gangster? He was gunned down and you're into "it" on a "tabloid level"
- Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: You devoted quite a chunk of your last visit to him, I'm... responding to that
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Nothing's changed, ok? He refuses to engage on the trauma his uncle caused and I think it's just a matter of time before he totally decompensates
- Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: Has he cried or reported crying at all about this man "Buster"?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [correcting him] "Junior," no
- Dr. Elliot Kupferberg: This Omertà concept comes from a pre-therapeutic culture
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: This isn't Omertà, it's "something" else
- Vito Spatafore: [over a cell phone] Hey, it's me
- Marie Spatafore: [referring to the original owner of the phone] Where are you, who's Thad McCone?
- Vito Spatafore: [referring to him coming out as gay, leaving the mob life and his family in fearing for his life] Some guy. I'm just borrowing his phone. Listen, I'm sorry all of this had to happen, I never meant to hurt you
- Marie Spatafore: [sternly] Come back, just come back
- Vito Spatafore: It's a little more complicated than that
- Marie Spatafore: Please, Phil said it'll be alright, we can get you help we can get you psychiatric help
- Vito Spatafore: Phil? I trust him least of all
- Marie Spatafore: How can you say that? His family: he loves you
- Vito Spatafore: Not anymore, believe me
- Marie Spatafore: I've been reading online there are these church groups, they can cure you of this
- Vito Spatafore: Marie...
- Marie Spatafore: [raises her voice] What are you gonna do, never come home?
- Vito Spatafore: I'm working on that. In the meantime, if your gonna need some cash...
- Marie Spatafore: [interrupts him] I need you, I need my husband
- Vito Spatafore: Listen to me, in the den, behind the Elliptical trainer, the baseboard comes off: there's 30k in there
- Vito Spatafore: [when she doesn't respond, referring to small town in New Hampshire he fled to] You know, you would like it here
- Marie Spatafore: Tell me where? I'll bring the kids: we'll relocate
- Vito Spatafore: I gotta go