- Nikki Faber: [Carter has been seeing this rich guy] ... according to this, he has never given a cent to charity.
- Carter Heywood: Oh my god. How can I fall for someone that doesn't do charity work.
- Stuart Bondek: Wouldn't bother me.
- Stuart Bondek: Stuart, dating you is charity work.
- Nikki Faber: [Carter has been seeing this rich guy] ... according to this, he has never given a cent to charity.
- Carter Heywood: Oh my god. How can I fall for someone that doesn't do charity work.
- Stuart Bondek: Wouldn't bother me.
- Carter Heywood: Stuart, dating you is charity work.
- James Hobert: [Stuart comes into work all beaten up] Gees Stuart, what happen to you.
- Stuart Bondek: Remember that woman I have been seeing, the one married to the bouncer. Last night when I went home he was waiting for me. I have no idea how he found out.
- James Hobert: [James and Paul start to snigger] Do you want to know how he found out?
- Paul Lassiter: [Now laughing] We Told him! GOTCHA!
- Stuart Bondek: That's not a practical joke, you idiots. I'm really hurt I may have a concussion.
- James Hobert: [James and Paul laughing hysterically] Yes! SCORE!
- Paul Lassiter: [still laughing] And that's not all, we also called your mother.
- Stuart Bondek: You told my mother I was sleeping with a married woman?
- Paul Lassiter: [laughing] We told her you we DEAD!
- Stuart Bondek: You guys are crazy. I've got to go see my mother.
- James Hobert: [still laughing and giving high fives] WE RULE!
- Stuart Bondek: [offstage and hearing a dog bark] Hey, down boy. I don't have any drugs on me.
- Paul Lassiter: [crying laughing] Thanks what you think!