The Vicar of Dibley (TV Series)
Comic Relief Special 1999 - Celebrity Party (1999)
Gary Waldhorn: David Horton
Quotes
-
Owen Newitt : Is there anyone famous in it?
David Horton : Well, let's see, according to this letter, someone called Johnny Depp.
Geraldine Granger : Johnny Depp? In our village? Johnny "please use your scissorhands to snip my pants off immediately" Depp!
-
David Horton : Hello, Vicar. I hear you had quite a night.
Geraldine Granger : Oh. Boy, you can say that again! Michael Caine, right...
[laughs]
Geraldine Granger : ... brought along this mango.
David Horton : Apparently though, apart from *Johnny*, you didn't actually see any of your guests.
Geraldine Granger : Well, no. But they were definitely there.
David Horton : [Smugly] Or were they? I suspect you've had the wool pulled over your eyes! I think he probably brought along a couple of rather good impressionists.
Geraldine Granger : [Indignantly] No he did not! I mean, look.
David Horton : What's that?
Geraldine Granger : This... is Madonna's bra.
David Horton : [laughing] That is not Madonna's bra - it's yours!
Geraldine Granger : It isn't! Look, I'm still wearing mine.
[Shows him the shoulder strap under her pyjama top]
David Horton : I think you've probably got more than one bra!
Geraldine Granger : No - I haven't! For me, bras are like men. You know, you meet one you love and you stick with it for life. I met this particular love match in British Home Stores, and... well, I'll take him to my grave with me.
David Horton : 'Him'? I didn't know bras were masculine.
Geraldine Granger : Well, of course they are. You wouldn't want something female cupping your breasts from dawn till dusk, would you? Well, I suppose you might... if you're a tennis player.