- Andy Travis: Well, I'm sorry but the point of this whole thing is that we don't need to build more walls. What we need to do is we need to tear down the walls that already separate us. And I can't believe I just said that - that's the corniest thing I've ever said in my life. I'm going to go right back over there and be sick.
- Jennifer Marlowe: Okay, there is a problem. We didn't win the award, and now everyone's trying to blame everyone else. It's only natural. You know, it happens in the best of families. People spend a lot of time together, and they start to get on one another's nerves. Have you ever noticed how you can be extremely polite to a total stranger, and then just turn right around and be rude to the person closest to you? We just all take one another for granted. But think of it this way - who would want to come to work tomorrow if, if say, Les wasn't here? He's family. Then there's Mr. Carlson, the occasionally confused but always concerned father. Andy: the success oriented, competent, tight-panted son. Les, Les, the consistently strange, bookish brother. And Herb, the semi-lovable troublemaker and general jackass. Johnny, the weather-beaten uncle who always wanted to be a sailor. No, that's not right, I never could nail you down. And Venus, the spiritual, loving brother. And Bailey, Bailey, the beautiful, shy sister with the brains. Now that's what I call a pretty nice family.
- Les Nessman: Jennifer, you always have such a nice, nice way of putting everything.
- Les Nessman: [running excitedly over to and sitting next to Mr Carlson] Hi, Dad!
- Bailey Quarters: [stumbling over her words] I don't think I was mad about the coffee. I think I was mad because you haven't asked me out in a long time.
- Dr. Johnny Fever: [looking down at the formal attire he is wearing and mischievously and self-assuredly grinning] I could keep the tux for another night.
- Bailey Quarters: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm busy all week.
- Dr. Johnny Fever: [at awards ceremony, flanked by presenter in slinky black dress] I guess I have a lot of people to thank, so I'll... start with all of my friends at WKRP, and, uh, my twelfth-grade teacher. And, uh, this incredibly beautiful woman to my right. Thank you.
- [leers at her]
- Dr. Johnny Fever: All of you.
- Herb Tarlek: [on company phone] Now you tell me how my gas bill could suddenly go up fifty-eight bucks. Well, I'll tell you something, pal, I'm not hanging up until I get an answer. I mean, hell could freeze over!
- Jennifer Marlowe: [entering with portable ladder] Herb!
- [instantly, Herb covers receiver]
- Jennifer Marlowe: Mr. Carlson asked me to take down the decorations for the victory party. I'd like your help, and I'd like it now.
- Herb Tarlek: [speaking into receiver again] So watch it!
- [slams down phone, goes to help Jennifer]
- Bailey Quarters: [railing] This is his second cup today! I spent thirty thousand dollars on an education just to get coffee for a deejay? I mean, he doesn't even chip in for the coffee, how unfair is that? I keep reminding myself, I am basically an executive, smile, be smart, you'll get your chance...!
- Herb Tarlek: Bailey, can I have one of those danishes?
- Bailey Quarters: Sure.
- [throws one at him]