Yes, Prime Minister (TV Series)

A Conflict of Interest (1987)

Richard Vernon: Sir Desmond Glazebrook

Photos 

Quotes 

• [discussing a potential appointment] 

  James Hacker : Would you recommend him?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : No.

  James Hacker : Why not?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Well, the City's a funny place, you know, Prime Minister. If you spill the beans, you open up a whole can of worms. I mean, how can you let sleeping dogs lie if you let the cat out of the bag? Bring in a new broom and, if you're not careful, you find you've thrown the baby out with the bathwater. If you change horses in the middle of the stream, next thing you know you're up the creek without a paddle.

  James Hacker : And then the balloon goes up.

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Obviously. They hit you for six. An own goal in fact.

• [discussing a financial scandal] 

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : They've broken the rules.

  Sir Humphrey : What, you mean the insider trading regulations?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : No.

  Sir Humphrey : Oh. Well, that's one relief.

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : I mean of course they've broken those, but they've broken the basic, the basic rule of the City.

  Sir Humphrey : I didn't know there were any.

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Just the one. If you're incompetent you have to be honest, and if you're crooked you have to be clever. See, if you're honest, then when you make a pig's breakfast of things the chaps rally round and help you out.

  Sir Humphrey : If you're crooked?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Well, if you're making good profits for them, chaps don't start asking questions; they're not stupid. Well, not that stupid.

  Sir Humphrey : So the ideal is a firm which is honest and clever.

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Yes. Let me know if you ever come across one, won't you.

• Jim Hacker : What do you know about Phillips Berenson?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : What do you know about Phillips Berenson?

  Jim Hacker : Well, uh... only what I read in the papers.

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Oh, good. Yes, well, they'e in a bit of trouble, that's all. They lent a bit of money to the wrong chaps. Could happen to anyone.

  Dorothy Wainwright : So you haven't heard and rumors?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : On well, there are always rumors.

  Dorothy Wainwright : Of bribery, embezzlement, misappropriation, insider dealing?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Oh, come, come, dear lady, those are strong words

  Dorothy Wainwright : So they're not true?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Well, there's... there are different uh, different ways of looking at things.

  Dorothy Wainwright : What's a different way of looking at embezzlement?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Oh, well, of course, if a chap embezzles, you have to do something about it.

  Jim Hacker : Have a serious word with him?

  Sir Desmond Glazebrook : Absolutely. Usually it's just a chap who's advanced himself a short-term, unauthorized, unsecured, temporary loan from the company's account, and, uh, invested it unluckily. You, know, horse falls at the first fence, that sort of thing.