- Mary Richards: Guess who Sue Ann Nivens spent the night with?
- Murray Slaughter: Come on, Mary, I have to be home in an hour.
- Ted Baxter: [Mary's crying in Lou's office] Mary? Do you want to see what I do to stop Georgette from crying?
- Ted Baxter: [Mary's looks at him] BOO!
- Ted Baxter: [Mary reacts scared and cries even harder] Oh no, that's for hiccups!
- Murray Slaughter: [trying to get Mary to reveal Lou's secret] Yeah, yeah, you promised Lou you wouldn't tell, but we tell each other everything that happens in that office. We always have, Mary and you're not going to stop now just because it's something really juicy.
- Mary Richards: Murr, I never said it was something really juicy.
- Murray Slaughter: Is it really juicy?
- Mary Richards: [emphatically] Is it ever!
- Ted Baxter: [investigating on who Sue Ann spent the night with, who happens to be Lou] I don't care, I just want to know who the jerk is. Lou?
- Lou Grant: [desperate to keep it hidden] Huh?
- Lou Grant: Can you imagine what kind of a dumbo who'd want to hang out with Sue Ann? Either he's a glutton for punishment or he just got out of prison!