Tripping the Rift (TV Series)

Miss Galaxy 5000 (2004)

Stephen Root: Chode

Quotes 

• Six : More important than how we look, is how we think. Women also have brains.

  Whip : But uncle Chode told me women don't need brains. 'Cause a brain can't suck your...

  Chode : [Chode puts his hand in front of Whip's mouth]  Kids! Heheh.

• Six : Did you hear a word I just said?

  Chode : Of course I did, but we're talking about a million dollars here. So, break out the skin tight spandex, put on your best screw me pumps and paint your face up like the whore of Babylon 69. Cause, honey, you're entering this pageant and that's an order.

  Six : Fine. But guess what you're not entering tonight?

  [her bedroom door slides shut] 

• Six : [Six is being accused of murder]  I didn't do it.

  Babette Bobo : Look, all I know is we got a signed confession.

  [holds up a note] 

  Chode : [grabs the note]  Yes, a signed confession... written in lipstick. I've had enough lipstick smeared on this hard body over the years to know the difference between 'Jungle Red', what this complete stranger is wearing, and 'Bozo Red', which is on the note, and on your lying lips!

• Gus : What if men were held up to that sort of artificial standard?

  Chode : We are! Only difference is, instead a' looks, it's how much dough we got. Right now, I'm one attractive guy

  [rubs money on himself] 

• T'nuk : I'll have you know back home on my planet, I am considered a great beauty!

  Chode : That's gotta be one scary place!

• Chode : Hey, men are visual. Big cahungas and a shaped patootie, they make us go nuts. We can't help it. That's beauty to us. That's how we're wired.