- Tick's Mind: [They have approached a giant statue called "Tick's self-image"] This is our chance to delve deep into our psyche and find the immutable truth! You can only it one and only one question.
- Tick: Okay okay, one question, check... How ya doing?
- [Tick's self-image gives a thumbs up]
- Tick's Mind: Oh great. That's your big question? That's your big truth? You goober!
- Tick: Look, thumbs up! We're doing fine!
- Tick's Mind: Tick, there's only one way out of this predicament. Tick, why are you here?
- Tick: Wait, I know this one. Now, don't tell me... I'm here because... a big clown hit me!
- Bud Frontier: I guess I owe you good people an explanation. I've always loved clowns. As a child, they were my favorite part of the circus. I mean, look, they're funny. They make people laugh. Face it, we all love clowns. I reasoned that if a regular clown were funny, then a larger clown would be even funnier. And a whole theme park full of giant clowns, now that would be my gift to the world. I am a genetic engineer by trade. I had spent a great deal of effort in my attempts to build the perfect clown. I labored day and night to perfect the science of clowning. Nothing else mattered. I had succeeded. You can't know the joy I felt. My theories were fact. I possessed the ability to create a super-clown. The others were not strong enough to survive, but one grew stronger and stronger and became everything I wanted it to be. This is Proto-Clown, the first and last of its kind.
- Arthur: My gosh, man! Didn't you realize that it's against the laws of nature? Clowns were never meant to be that big.
- Bud Frontier: I know that now. I'm sorry.
- [last lines]
- Tick: Don't take it so hard, mister, There are many mysteries in this universe big and small. Like 'why do clowns make us laugh?' 'Why do we love puppy dogs?' and 'why, why do little, blue midgets hit me with fish?'
- Arthur, Die Fledermaus, American Maid, Carpeted Man - Gary, Sewer Urchin, Captain Mucilage, Feral Boy, Four-Legged Man, Jungle Janet: What?
- Tick: See what I mean? Mysteries abound!